Bemidji Daily Pioneer Newspaper, December 23, 1911, Page 8

Yol i Bonrowed ta Saveii | Uncle Reuben,. the village ‘white- ‘washer and man of all work, was a frequent borrower of small sums from Ais neighbor, Colonel Arkwright, and. as & rule he repaid these little debts at the appointed time. But on one oc- casion when he had been accommo- dated with a loan of $2.50, which he promised to return in a few days, he allowed two or three weeks to pass without making any mention of his in- flebtedness and, in fact, seemed to avoid his creditor. But one morning ‘the colonel unexpectedly encountered him at the postoffice. “Hello, Uncle Rube! Didn't you bor- row a little money from me several weeks ago?’ *“Dat’s right, cunnel,” map. “I sholy did.” “You told me you'd pay it back in three or four days. Have you had bad lnek?’ “No, suh,” responded Uncle Reuben. “Pll tell you how it was, cunnel. I lacked jes' two dollahs an’' a half o’ havin® ten ‘dollahs to put in de savin's bank, an’ I used it fo' dat. It's all right, cunnel. I won’t fo'git it.”"— Youth’s Companion. said the old Insane ‘English Monarchs. Q@sporge -IL1. \is the -only British mon- aredh who M modern times has been | piaeed under ‘restraint and deprived of his -authority because of insanity, thomgh slmilar messures were at one Hme comtemplated with regard to his #om, ‘ George 1V., the monmarch who hes’ been described as “a bad son, a tbhedl' husband, a bad father, a bad sub- Jest, ‘2 bad monarch and a bad friend” and whowe conduct while on the throne wep ebaracterized by an eccentricity ‘witich bordered on lunacy. The insanity of :George III. was real- 4y brought about by the dangerous idmess of his youugest and favorite c8ld, Princess Amolia. The unlikeli- taofl of her recovery preyed upon him anfl hastened the attack of mental de- ‘ramgemont which incapacitatéd him - fsom - reiguing, although he had pre- viswsiy saffered from this maiady. He -diad hopelessly insane at Windsor after laming Me sight as well as his senses.— emoson’'s. The Difference. ' was:at an afternoon concert, and in the stalls sat a smartly dreseed girl amil the young man who deemed her the most precious jewel of the uni- varse. Behind them sat a couple of - the type of concert goers who came rather to discuss the audience than Limten to the music. . “Ileok at that girl just in front of ‘on® commented one in a very audi- ‘ble whisper. “She’'s shop assistant at ‘L. I should like to know what busi- #ems she has at a gathering of this +eart. And just look at her hat! She warved me the other day with the one ¥ s wearing, and I suppose she per- suades herself that there is no differ- enee betwee 1 it and mine. I never” The girl in front turned with a crim- som face. *“4Oh, ves, madam, there’s a differ- wnse,” she said quietly; “mine is paid for.”—London Tit-Bits. Irving’s Modesty. ! #uller Mellish, who was for several s yewrs In the company of Sir Henry I irsfng, first coming to America in his + support, told a characteristic story of -the great Bnglish actor. B\;’:‘V_Ve were discussing Teanyson in ‘ the beefsteak room of the Lyceum one © might,” said Mr. Mellish, “when Sir "Hlury came over and joined in the ‘romversation. ‘Ah, yes. he said, “Ten- nyson. To be sure I know him. Clever ' vhap. yes, but vain. One night Ten- nyeon and 1 were walking down Pie- " radilly together, and as we passed a ‘ crowd on the street corner several of ¢ the men took off their hats and bowed. ‘‘Ha! Do you kuow Tennyson thought ' they were bowing to him. Extraordi- : nary! Yes, ctever chap. but vain, you “kmow'" 3 Quick Action. 'y A ‘southern farmer was trying to sell R mule to a negro who two years be- fore had been kicked on the head by Al animal. “Of course,” said the farmer, mule kicks, but™— “I don” wan’ him,” objected the col- pred man emphatically. “Just because he kicks?’ asked the tarmer, with an air of contempt. “Humph!™ grunted the negro. “Dat mpule don' kick; he shoots.’--Popular Magazine. A Witty Thief. ‘Munich has been visited by a thief ‘erith a sense of humor. Several days ago all the clocks in the ministry of railways came to a standstill. The rentral or “master clock,” which con- trols all the others, had been stolen. An its place was a sheet of paper with the words, “Time was made for Blaves.” Hthis Making a Hero. A nourishing supper, a good night's sleep and a fine morning have often made a hero of the same man who by Indigestion, a’ restless night and a wainy morning would have proved a poward.—Chesterfield. Co g Down. The Madam (with a hand to her head)—Is my hair coming down, Kate? The Maid—Yes, ma’am, In a minute. T'm going right upatairs for it now.— Yonkers Statesman. 4 ‘Bell Clappers of Opium. The infinite patience of the Chinese is well illustrated in a smugsling Btory which I heard from an imperial mari- time customs-official at one of the “bar- riers” on the upper Yangtze. The inci- dent occurred several years ago in an attempt to .avoid duty on a' small amount of Szechuan opium that was headed for Shanghai. “An important article of down river trade,” said the official in question, “is the little belled and spangled cap worn by the Chinese children from two to six years of age. In passing a number of boxes of these in the spring of 1906 I chanced to notice that the tinkle from the little bell in the center of the cap I was examining was rather muf- fled. Forcing it open purely out of curiosity, I was astonished to find a tiny pellet of opium hardly a quarter of an inch in diameter which had been substituted for the clapper. Of course we had to search the whole lot, and our aggregate haul from about 5,000 caps—a couple of days’ work for us— was less than ten pounds of opium.”— Wide World Magazine. Gleaning In England. There is a popular but quite errone- ous belief that a common law right of gleaming exists in England. A legal obiter dictum that a man who enters a field for the purpose of gleaning can- not be prosecuted for trespass received the dubious support of Blackstone. But a majority of judges decided in a case which came before the old court of common pleas that to grant a gen- eral right to gleam would be contrary to public policy, because it would “de- moralize the poor” and “opeén a wide door to fraud.” In many parts of Eng- land the privilege is confined to the wives and children of the harvesters. Yet the privilege of gleaming became so firmly established in England that the local custom has been recognized by many acts of parliament. In some country districts the “gleaning bell” is still regularly rung from the tower of the parish church during harvest tide twice a day to let the gleaners know when they may commence and when they must finish. — Westminster Ga- zette. Persia’s Great Superstition. The greatest superstition in Persia is what is known as the “evil eye.” You must not say to some one whom you meet, “How well you are looking!” for if you do and that persom is taken ill it will be because you gave him the evil eye. You must not .say to a mother, “What a pretty baby!”’ “What a bright child!” for if you do and any- thing unfortunate happens to the child you will be considered responsible. Many mothers let their children go dirty and poorly clothed in order that they may not attract favorable atten- tion. The sign which is thought to have some power to avert the evil eve consists in holding the second and third fingers of both hands close to the palms with the thumbs. while the other fingers are extended straight out. Then with the hands behind you you make. a downward movement three times.—Los Angeles Times. What Is Fun? “I don’t see what fun it can be for you to go on these fishing expeditions with your husband,” said her best friend. “That’s because you don’t know any- thing about fishing,” she replied. “Do you?" “Indeed 1 do. I can sit in the sterm of the boat and give advice to the best of them. And when a big fish gets away nobody can beat me telling how it ought to have been er might have been landed.” “I shouldn’t think that would be much fun for you.” “Shouldn’t you? Well. that’s because you don’t know how mad it makes my husband. Kid. you don’t know what fun is.”—Cleveland Plain Dealer. I Spanish Meat Balls. Spanish meat balls are as palatable as they are rare, and made thus: One can of tomatoes, one onion chopped fine, garlic or cayeunne to taste. This forms the “Spanish.” One and a half pounds of hamburg steak. Soak half a loaf of stale bread; drain off all wa- ter. Take one egg. pepper and salt to taste. mix together. roll into balls the size of an egg and cook in the “Span- ish” three quarters of an hour.—Na- tional Magazine. His Suspicions Aroused. “John, do you love your little wife?" “yes. “Do you love me very much?” “Oh. yes.” “Will you always love me?” “Yes. Say. woman, what have you gone and ordered sent home Dow ?'— Pittsburgh Post. Her Question. Molly (holiday making in the coun- try)—I say. Mr. Hoats, do you mind if T ask a question? The Farmer—No. my dear. What is it? Molly—What 1 want to know is when you've finished milking that cow how do you turn it off >—London Sketch. Education. Education gives fecundity of thought, copiousness of illustration, quickness, vigor, fancy, words, images and illus- trations; it decorates every common thing and gives the power of trifling without being undignified and absurd. —Sydaey Smith. Easy Enough. Tommy's Mamma—Why aren't you The Old Reliable Bird. "We do not pretend to know anything ~mbout ornithology, but we are willing “¢p say this much for the stewk: He 4lelivers the goods.—Galveston News. Nover wake friends with the devil, a smonkey or a'boy. No man kaows what @hey wili do next.—Rudysrd Kipitng. a good boy like Willie Bjones? Tom- {my—Huh! It's easy enough for him 'to be good. He's sick most of the ‘at ease with a man who babbles all Single File, “When the Indians traveled. together | ‘they seldom walked or .rode two or more abreast, but followed one another in single file. It hasjbeen: thought. by some that this practice resulted:from the lack of roads, which _co!npgugd them to make their way through woods and around rocks by narrow-paths. If this were the real reason for the prac- tice. then we should expect to find that the tribes who lived in open countries traveled in company, as do whites. The true reason for journeying as the Indians did in single file seems to be a feeling of caste. This feeling was at the bottom of other customs of the Indians. It made their women slaves and rendered the men silent and unso cial. This peculiarity is Asjatic. How it has warped and disfigured Hindu life is well known. Home is scarcely pos- sible where it prevails. To the wom- en and children domestic life is bond- age. The women of a Chinese house- hold are seldom seen in the street. The children, when accompanying theit father, follow him at a respectful dis- tance, in single file and in the order of their ages.—Harper’s Weekly. Don’t Be a Chatterer. Do you chatter? If you feel you do, don’t! Get rid of the habit as quickly as maybe. There is nothing so irritat- ing or more dangerous. His chief asks __THE BEMIDJI DAILY PION ER '| gold image of the sacred Yoni. the clerk a question which requires a brief answer. Insiead of replying in a word, he irritates his superior by in- consequent meanderings, and he is sur- prised and hurt to be curtly cut short. His astonishment, however, would be greater could he but overhear a subse- quent conversation. “Shall we send Jones on this special commission?” asks the head clerk. “No,” replies the chief; “he chatters too much.” It has always been so. Famous gen- erals have ever intrusted important messages to the man who would rath- er be shot than speak. Then, too, 2 chatterer has few friends, whether business or otherwise. Who can feel you tell him in confidence to the next comer ?>—Pearson’s Weekly. Try a Single Rose. “We read,” said Lucinda, “about how Adolphus brought to Luella a great bunch of roses, and we cam imagine their beauty. We are left to guess: at their cost. But do you know it isn’t really necessary in order to make home: beautiful to have a bunch of roses as: big around as a barrel; that a' single lovely rose will do? “Try this: If you have spent all your money for hats and gloves and Adol- phus hasn’t come—my brother Claude would say hasn’t come- to-tlie bat—stop at the florist’s and buy a' single rose— it will cost very little—and take that home and set it in the proper vase; its red petals and green leaves to please the eye and its fragrance to fill' tlie room, an individual flower of grace and beauty and joy. If yon can’t have a bunch try a single rose’’—New York Sun. y The Everglades:. . . The region known as the Everglades- of Florida is about sixty miles-long by some fifty-fifive miles broad and'is-one vast swamp. studded with islands- of from a quarter of an acre to hundreds of acres in extent. These islands are' generally covered with dense-thi¢kets of shrubbery or vimes and oceasion- ally with lofty pines and palmettos. The water is from ene to six.feet deep, the bottom, as a rele. covered: with.a | growth of rank grass. Duriog the! rainy season, from July to.October, the district comprised in the:Everglades is:| practically impenetrable. The vege- table deposit of the Everglades is con-| sidered well adapted to the growth of'} the banana and other froits,.aud when properly drained the region will un- doubtedly be one of the most fertile on: earth.—New York American. Struggle of the Rivers. The discovery that tliere is a kindiof struggle for existence and survival of the fittest ameong rivers is one of the most interesting results of the modern study of physiography. A notable.ex- ample of this contest is exhibited! by England’s two biggest rivers, the Thames and the Severn. Between their valleys lie the Cotswold hills. and. ex- ploration shows that the Severn by | eating baekward among these hills where softer strata underlie them has: diverted to itself some of the headwa- ters which formerly flowed into. the | Thames. She Made a Mistake, Two girls, the story ran, were drinmk- ing tea and eating scones at a fashion- able New York restaurant. The first girl said: “Maud is so. sorry she took Reggie's ring back to- Dymon's to be valued.” “Why?" asked the other girt as she opened a fresh secone. “Dymon kept it. He said Reggie hadn’t been in to settle for it, aceord- ing to his promise.” Not In Condition. Professional Beggar (in Hardupp’s office)—T've been out o' work for over a year, mister, and ain’t got the price o a night's \lodgln'. Can yer do any- thing to help me out? . Hardupp (sar- donically)—I'd like to. but I sprained my foot on a collector yesterday. Toa Sane. will hit the popular fancy.” | the hay harvest and anether that it is “I don’t believe this novel of yours | Primitive Ideas of ‘Hygiene. Hindu ambassadors once sent te ‘England by a native prince were re- garded as so polluted that on their re- turn to India mothing but being born again would purify them. aud they _were accordingly dragged through ‘a A writer describes a curious custom of the Baretse in South Africa. A few days after the death of a man the doc- tor comes and makes an incision on the forehead of each of the survivors of his relatives and fills it with medi- cine to ward off the contagion and the effect of the sorcery that caused his death. Leland calls attention to a custom of taking medicines on the threshold in ancient Tuscany, the idea being that the threshold was the border line be tween the outer world where evil spir- its freely roam. If a person dies within an Eskimc hut everything in the hut must be de stroyed or thrown away as well as everything which had come into con- tact with the deceased.—Dietetic and Hygienic Gazette. Scientific Manager. One cold winter day some railroad officials while making an inspection of a large yard stepped for a moment in side a switchman’'s shanty to get warm. Among them was a genera; superintendent who was known tc have a mania for “scientific manage ment” and the reduction of expenses As they were leaving the switchmar asked the traveling yardmaster, whom he knew: “Now, can ye be tellin’ me who tho mon is?” “That’s the general superintendent,’ the yardmaster replied. l “What do you think o’ that? He's s foine lookin’ mon, and ye never woulé believe the tales ye are hearin’ aboui SATURDAY, DECEM tand people who do not take 'ad gets to them all. Can’t Lose Much b; HELP WANTED WANTED—For T, 8. Army—Abie: bodied unmarried menr between ages of 18 and 35; citizens of the United States, of good character and temperate habits, who ecan speak, read and write the English language. For information ap- ply to Recruiting Office at Serove- der Building, Bemidji, or 217 Toz- rey Buiiding, Duluth, Minn. WANTED—Wood cutters to cut 30% cords tamarack and 300 cords jack pine; near town. Inquire of Wes| Wright. FOR SALE FOR SALE—Rubber stamps. The Pioneer will procure any kind of a rubber stamp for you on short notice. FOR SALE—Haled hay and straw at Nm."” Wes Wright/s barn. Near City “What have you heard about himl Hall. Mike?” was the curious question. “Why, they do say that he was a1 FOR SALE—Rhede Island Red Cock- he fugeral of Mr. Mitchel's woife ang| ~©rals. Phona-431. | when the six pallbearers come out h¢ raised his hand and said: ‘Hold on & FOR RENT minute, boys. I think yez can gel along without two of thim.”—Every body’s Magazine. Know What a Prism Is? John Smith and Henry Jones are eat- ing lunch together. Johm Smith ecasu- ally takes two cubes of sugar and places them side by side. “That makes a perfect prism, doesn’t it?” John Smith remarks casually. “Prism mpothing!” replies Henry Jones. “That isn’t a prism.” FOR RENT—#4 desirable rooms for housekeeping for couple without children. Hested and partly fur- nished. Centrally located. Apply this office. p OCASH WiTH OOPY Y4 oent per word per Issne Regular charge rate 1 cent word i ion. f e 8 Pper word per insertion. No ad taken for less than HOW THOSE WANT ADS DO THE BUSINESS They tell what you have to sell to everybody in Bemidji. The Ploneer goes everywhere so that everyone has a neighbor who takes it the paper generally read their neighbor’s so your want Phornie 31 ¥4 Cent a Word Is All It Costs y Taking a Chanee FOR RENT—6 room house for rent. A, Klein. LOST AND FOUNRD P AN Will the person who took the baby cutter from the residence of Wil- liam McCuaig please retmrn: it at once? _— MISCELLANEQUS A e e e ADVERTISERS--The great state ef North Dakota offers unlimited op- portunities for business to classi- fied advertisers. The recognized advertising medium 1s the Fargo Daily and Sunday Courier-News, the only seven day paper in the state and the paper which carries the largest amount of classified advertising. The Courier-News covers North Dakota like a. blank- et; reaching all parts of the state the day of publication; it is the paper to use In order to get re- sults; rates one cent per word first insertion, one-half cent per word suecedding insertion; fifty cents per line per month. Address the Courier-News, Fargo, N. D. WANTED—Dining and sleeping ear comductors, $75-$125. Experience unneeessary, we teach you, write Dining Car World, 125 W. Van Buren, Chicago. FOR RENT—Rooms for light house- keeping, furnished or unfurnished. _ Over Gill Bros: FOR RENT—Two furnished rooms; modern. 921 Minnesota Ave. “Sure it is.” remarks Smith. “Don’t ¥ou know a prism when you see one?” “I certaimly do,” is the retort. “A prism is a triapgular piece of glass used to divide light into the primary eolors. Can't you recall enough eof your school days te remember that 2~ “Oh, yes; I remember that all right. But these two cubes off sugar. placed side by side; make & prism teo.’” challenges Jowes. “You're on,” prompily agrees Smith, Jones had te pay the bet. If yon don't believe it. leok in: a dietionary yourself’ and see.—St. Louis Post-Dis- patch.. Hay m Church A curipus: custom has been ebserved from time: immemorial at Old Weston, Huntingdonshire, in Hngland. The church there is dedicated to. St. Swith- in. and: om the Sunday most nearly ap- proaching St. Swithin's: day the edifice is strewn: with new mown hay. The tradition. is tlrat am old lady hegueath- ed a field for charitalble purpeses onj| condition: that the tenant provided the Hay to. lessenr the annoyance caused by the: squeaking of the new shoes worn by the villagers on Feast Sunday. There are other explanations—ene that it is. an offering of the first fruits of a survival of the ewstom of strewing the: ehurch (when the flowr was only beaten. earth) with rushes. A New: Creation. Margaret. aged eleven, had just re- turned from her first visit to the zeo. “Well.,™ said her meother, smiling, “@id you see the elephants and the gi- zaffe- and the kangaroes?™ Margaret looked thoughtful. “We saw the elephant and the gi- raffe and the dan-gercoos.™ “What?" said Mrs. Blank. “The dan-ger-roos. It said, “These animals are d-a-n-g-e-r-e-u-s.” — Har- per's Magazine. Stilt “Johnay™ 1 One summer when an admirable ex- secretary of the navy was visiting his native village of Buckfield in Maine he sent seme clothes to the village washerwoman and, driving by the next week in company with a repre- sentative to congress, stopped to ask for them. The woman turned to her assistant. “May.” said she, “is John- ny’s washing done yet?’—€hristian Register. And Got a Lecture. “Well, old man, how did you get along after I left yow at midnight? Get home all right?” “No. A confounded mosey policeman haled me to the station, where I spent the rest of the night.” “Lucky dog! 1 reached home.”— Boston Transcript. Conservation Too. “What's wrong with it?” had sense.”—Washington Herald. Friendly Adviem ! time.—Judge. Another life, if it were not better than this, would be less a promise than a thiveat.—J. Petit Senn. ting married.” 7 “Good enough. Now surprise em by staying married.”—Kansas Oty Jour- nal. P ¥ “Your heroine acts at times as if she { 90ired the engaged girl. “We surprised ail gur friends by get- experienced friend.—Louisville Cour- “What is this domestic science?’ in- “It consists of making hash out of the leftover meat and croquettes out of the leftover hash,” explained her more fer-Journal. d@oubt responsible for his many eccen- “Bet you the lumch youre wremg.”|who had no right to amy opinion what- ever. and a dictionary was sent for. rel The artist promptly sued for damages. and in the celebrated rriai which fol- ,Ing from his eyes. | Two furnished rooms for light house- keeping. 511 Third St. Whistler's Eccentricities. ‘Whistler’'s remarkable genius is no tricities. He quarreled indiscriminate- ly with friend and foe, and for him the public were a-set of ignoramuses Especially well* known is bis gunar- with John Ruskim, whe in his WANTED TO TRADE—What have you to trade for new standard pia- no? Call at second hand store, 0dd Fellows Bldg. BOUGHT AND SOLD—Second hand furniture. Odd Fellows building, across from postoffice, phone 129. f silk sock extended so far into the aisle- as. to. make it almost impossible for people te pass without coming in com- tact withy the obtruding member was: brought te a sense of his disregard foe othrers by three young women who sat opposite. One said, *“I wonder if he 1s. showing. his foot or his shoe?’ The second sald@ loud enough to be heard abeve the car clatter and of the “ars Clavigera” haé heaped scorn on ene of Whistler'ss “Nocturnes” in the fotlowing language: “I have seen and heard much of cockney impudence be- fore now, but mever expected to hear a coxcomb ask 200 guineas for flinging a pot of paiut im the public’s face.” lowed he was awarded ome farthing. which coin he trinmphantly wore as a watch charm ever afterward. { In his art work. as in bis own per- sonal appearance. Whistler was fastid- fous. His palettes were beautifully wiped. his brushes faultlessly kept. and as for his general behavior it was foreign. one may even say exotic. Why Thackeray Was Moved to Tears. A lady, am intimate friend and a frequent visiter at the Thackeray home, called' late one afternoon. She was shown into the study, and on en- tering perceived the novelist himself | seated at' his desk, his head bowed upon his arms. Fearing she was in- | truding in. the presence of some great and unknown grief. she paused. hesi- tating. Then. thinking .he might be of some. help or at least express her sympathy. she stepped forward. Just then Thackeray looked up. His sheul- ders were shaking, the tears stream- | “Little Nel! is dead,” he said broken- | ly. “Little Nell?” his visitor interrogat- | ed “Yes, Liftle Nell,” was the answer. “She is dead. I've just beem reading it Before him on his desk lay an open copy of “Old Curiosity Shop.”— ! Ladies' Home Journal. When Lobsters Were Common. The lobster was not always the aris- tocrat of the supper table and the most costly of delicacies. A man who used to live in Maine, but now lives in Ohio, has this reminiscence, according | to a writer in the Cleveland Leader: “One day here in Cleveland 1 took a friend out to luncheon, and suddenly the old appetite for lobster came back | to both of us, as we were both born on the Maine coast. We had two full portions, and the bill was $2. And yet | a8 a boy I've seen my father standing | on the wharf, bargaining with a fish- erman for his lobster catch of the day, and often, for $2 I've seen the lobster fisherman turn over to my father the entire catch, and the whole boatload— 250 or 800 big, black lobsters, perhaps —would be dumped on the landing and taken back on our old farm. as. feed for the. pigs. What He Was Showing.. Every opinion reacts on hima whe ut- s it. A young man sitting in a subway car with legs crossed. and one foot amusement of others, “l think e wvants. to show his clocked socks— watch it.” *“No,” said the third, “he's only showing his bad manners.” The foot came down and was lost in:the crowd which got off at the next sta- tion.—New York Tribune. ' Bigness of Big Ben. Big Ben, which marks tbhe hours. for parliament at the top of the clock tow- ep at Westminster, is bigger than itap- pears from below. Looking at the dial of Big Ben from the northern footway of Great George street or from the Thames embankment, it appears. as if its diameter might be equal to. the spaee that 8 man of medium size could coever with. outstretched arms. As & matter of fact, however, the diameter of the dial is twenty-three feet. Hrom the ground: the minute marks on the dial look like ordinary minute marks and as if they were close together. Really they are a foot apart. The ou- merals are two feet long. The minute hand, with its counter balance—the heavy piece of metal that projects be- yond the center of the dial—is fifteen feet in length. This hand is so- massive. that during a snowstorm. the clock is. sometimes retarded by the weight of the flakes that alight on it.—Londem Mail. He Took the Cue. He was a man who gave little and- got much. Today, for instance, he had got a clothes brush. a basin of water. a towel and a shine, and he had given nothing at all. Tr-r-r-ring! went his bedroom bell. The hotel attendant smiled sourty. This was the fourth time he had been summoned, and he did not hurry. “I thought you were never coming,™ exclaimed the visitor when the at- tendant appeared at last. *Are yoa nicknamed ‘Slowcoach? ” “No, sir,” snswered the attendamt. “They eall me ‘Billiard cue.” ™ “Billiard cue!” repeated the visiter, frowning. Then an inspiration dawn- ed. “Ah! Because you're such a stick, ¥ suppose?” he asked, “Wrong again, sir!” returned the &t- tendant. “It’s because I work better with a good tip.”—London Answers. The Color Cure. To cure smallpox was apparently a very simple matter in the good old times. John of Gaddeston, court doc- tor to Edward II, has recorded that he got rid of thedisease by the simple. expedient of wrapping his patients in red cloth. “ILet scarlet red be taken,” he says, “and let him who is suffering smallpox be entirely wrapped in it ox- in some other red cloth. I did thux when the son of the illustrious king- of England suffered from smallpox. I took care that all about his bed should be red, and that cure succeeded very- showing a highly polished; shoe and e g well.”—London Tatler. o —— e |