Bemidji Daily Pioneer Newspaper, December 20, 1911, Page 3

‘WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 20, 1911 R —————— s Such a Thoughtful Woman, ‘When the man and woman started down the subway stairs the man felt in his pockets for tickets. “By George!” he said. ‘“Isn’t that a shame? I've got to stop in all this mob and buy tickets.” “Oh, no, you haven’t,” said the wo- man. “I have them. When I came downtown I remembered what you said about those people who buy only one ticket at a time making such a nuisance of themselves, so, as I had 15 cents to spare, I bought three tick- ets. 1 have two leftt We can go right on through.” So the man and the woman drifted along with the pushing crowd to the point where the ticket chopper held them up and demanded tribute. Then the woman looked in her purse for the tickets. Suddenly her face assumed a painful blankness. “I—I haven’t got them,” she falter- ed. “I was in such a hurry when 1 came through that I must have drop- ped all three tickets into the uptown box.”—New York Herald. A Note That Was Paid. History is constantly repeating it- self. Once upon a time a landlady in ‘Washington called on President An- drew Jackson and told of a govern- ment clerk who owed her a big bill for board. In those days it was easy to have access to the White House. President Jackson listened to her story and advised her to get a promis- sory note from the clerk and put it in bank. ‘She replied: “I've done that twice, general, and ‘he won’t pay even then.” “Is that so?” said the president in surprise. “Now you go and get his note and bring it to me. I simply want to see it, and I'm sure that the clerk Wil pay that note. Go and bring it to me.” The landlady did so, and soon return-’ ed with the promissory note. The president turned it over and wrote across the back of it his own indorse- ment: “A. Jackson.” That note was paid at maturity.— Cincinnati Commercial Tribune. Waves In Solid Metal. ‘As illustrating the advances in metal- lurgy and engineering it has been demonstrated that solid metals may reveal by their structure the vibra- tions to which they have been subject- ed 'In explaining this phenomenon experiments have been shown proving that a beautiful wave structure can be imparted to the surface of mercury by the vibrations of a tuning fork, and that even the surface of solid lead which had been subjected to similar vibrations possesses a structure re- sembling that of a vibrating surface of mercury. Mild steel has been de- fined as a “solid solution” of iron and carbon, free from cinders. Metallur- gists have doubled the strength of steel as it was known in its early days.— Bcientific American. Relieved. “Where did you get these examples of faultily constructed sentences?” ask- ed Dr. Campbell, the great rhetorician. of a student. “Qut of one of your books, doctor.” “What? Where? Out of one of my books?” “Yes, sir; out of your ‘Rbetoric. “Qut of my ‘Rhetoric?” roared the doctor. “Impossible! Never did I make use of such language. You are mistaken, badly mistaken. But—but— where in my ‘Rhbetoric’ did you ftind such composition?” he demanded an grily. “In the part, ‘Sentences to be Cor- rected.’ " “O-h-h-h-h-h! A-h-h-h-h! Yes, yes,” said the relieved doctor.—Philadelphia North American. »or Too Much For Her. Calling oue day to see an old friend who was visiting her wmarried son, 1 inquired of the colored maid who an- swered the bell, “Is Mrs. Smith at home?” “Yas'm, she home,” the girl replied. showing no inclination to invite me in. “She here, all right, but she got a misery in de haid.” “Mrs. Smith senior?” I asked with concern. “Seen me!” she exclaimed suspicious- ly. *“Cose she seen me. Huccome she ain’ see me w'en she hire me las night bubh own self?" And she indig- nantly shut the door.—Lippincott’s. The Worst. “My wife has been having some trouble with her throat,” confided a friend, “and 1 got pretty worried about it and sent for a doctor. He examined her and looked very grave. and that scared me even worse. So I said, ‘Tell me the worst at once, Doec,’ and he whispered, ‘She will re- cover her voice’” And my wife over- heard the question and the answer. and now Doc and I are both in bad.”— Cleveland Plain Dealer. Resentment. “Did you say I was a cheap trick- ster?” asked the ward worker. “No, I didn’t,” replied the man who is close to the boss. *“I merely said you were a trickster.” “Well, that’s all right, but don’t you ever insinuate that I am doing a cut rate business.”—Washington Star. A Tragedy. “How did you like my new tragedy?” “Tragedy? 1 thought it was com- edy.” “So did 1 till I got my check for the profits.” Paradoxical. “All this time the cashier was burn ing the candle at both ends.” “And keeping it dark. Well, I de clare!”’—Exchange, Origin of the Piane. The pianoforte was directly evolved from the clavichord and the harpsi- chord. In 1711 Scipione Maffel gave a detailed account of the first four in- struments, which were constructed by Bartolommeo Chrustoforl. It was fnamed by him the pianoforte and was first exhibited in 1709. Marius, in France, exhibited harpsichords, with hammer action, in 1716, and Schroter, in Germany, claimed to have invent- ed the pianoforte between 1717 and 1720. Marius was at first generally credited with the invention. Pianos of that period were shaped very much like the modern grand variety. The first square piano was constructed by Trederica, an organ manufacturer of Saxony, in 1758. The first genuine up- right piano was invented in England and the United States by John Isaac Hawkins, an Englishman, in 1800.— Detroit Free Press. Doing and Thinking. Mamma—Bessie, why don’t you wash the dishes? It is easier to do a thing than to sit and think about it. Bessie —Well, mamma, you wash the dishes. and T'll sit and think about it. Could Help Her. Fussy Lady Patient—I was suffering 80 much, doctor, that 1 wanted to die. Doctor—You did right to call me in, dear lady.—London Opinion. Suiting the Action to the Word. At a lecture a-well known authority on economics mentioned the fact that in some parts of America the number of men was constantly larger than that of women, and he added humor ously, “I can therefore recommend to the ladies to emigrate to that part.” A young lady who was seated in one of the last rows of the auditoripm got up and, full of indignation, left the room rather noisily, whereupon the lecturer remarked, “I did not mean that it should be done in such a hur- ry.’—Judge. White Specks In Butter. ‘White specks in butter are some- times simply fine particles of milk curd, resulting from lack of care in skimming. Sometimes they are small specks of dried cream, having been scraped from the sides of the pan and being too dry to thoroughly soften and mix with the rest. On the Spur of the Moment. “Waiter, these eggs are as hard as a stone. I told you not to boil them more than three minutes and a half.” “Yes, sir; that’s just the time they were in to a second, but the—aw—wa- ter was hard, sir.”—Chicago Tribune. What kind of paper resembles a sneeze? Tissue. neisted on Brevity. 'l'he Spartans were distinguished for the brevity and conciseness of their lpeech. On one occasion during a. ter- rible famine the inhabitants of an is- land in the Aegean sea sent gn am- bassador to . Sparta, who. made ‘a speech imploring. its aid. He had hardly finished before the Spartans sent him back these words, “We did not understand the end of your speech and have forgotten the beginning.” The poor, starving people chose an- other spokesman and impressed upon him to make his request as brief as possible. He therefore took with him a quantity of sacks, opened one | - fore the assembly and said simply, “It is empty; fill it.” The sack was filled as well as the others, but the chief of the assembly said as he dismissed the ambassador, | loaded with meal: “It wasn’t neces- sary to inform us that the sack was empty. We saw it ourselves. Neither was it necessary to request us to fi'l it. We should have done it on our own account. Be less long winded next time.” | The Usual Result. “Yes, Charlie is as brave as a stack of lions. Did you hear about his dar- ing a policeman to arrest him?" **No! Gee, what happened?”’ “He was arrested.”—Cleveland Plain Dealer. Just What He Wanted. The superintendent of the capitol and its grounds at Washington was walking along one of the corridors in the house office building one day when a greenhorn congressman, stewing with rage, grabbed him by the sleeve. “What’s the matter?” asked the su- perintendent, observing the man’s emo- tion. “Matter!” shouted the congressman. “Why, when I went into my office last evening there was a brand new typewriter on the desk. Now it's gone. You've got a lot of thieves around here.” The official walked into the office | and without a word lifted the trap cabinet of the desk and brought the typewriter into view. “Fine!” commented the congress- man. “Now, have you got a place like that in here for my use when trouble- some constituents knock on the door?” —Washington Star. Sarcastic Wills. One eccentric Frenchman directed that a new cooking recipe should be pasted on his tomb every day, and an- other Frenchman, who was a lawyer, left $50,000 to a lunatic asylum, de- claring that it was simply an act of restitution to the clients who were in- sane enough to employ his services. R. F. MURPHY FUNERAL DIRECTOR AND EMBALMER Office’313 Beitram! Ave. Phone 319-2. THE SPALDING EUROPEAN PLAN Duluth’s Largest and Best Hotel DULUTH MINNESOTA More than $100,000.00 recently expended on improvements. 250 rooms, 12 private baths, 60 sample rooms. Every modera convenience: Luxurious and delightfal restxurant.s and buffet, Flemish =, Palm Room, Men’s Grill, Colonial Buffet; Magnificent lobby and public rooms: Ballroom. banquet roois and private dining rooms: Sun parlor and observa- tory. Located in heart of business sec- tion but overlooking the harbor and Lake Superior. Convenient to everything. One of the Great Hotels of the Northwest 95 - 1550 -~ 19 50 - 20 00 -~ - 19 75 - 35 00 - present Your Wife with one or more of my Fine Furniture articles, Sales System of Minneapolis $12 00 Music CabmetSale PriceNow $ 8 75 .o . . 9 75 Oak Dresser " B " Buffet . .o . . .o . 22 50 Fine Birds Eye Maple Sale Price Now 17 00 12 00 Oak Chiffonier - . 45 00 White Sewing Machine Sale Price Now 30 00 35 00 Fine Leather Devenport Sale Price Now 21 00 39 00 Fine Leather Devenport Sale Price Now 23 00 Sale Plice Now 25 00 Sale Price Now 27 50 19 50 . 6 25 10 50 7 25 15 25 16 50 14 50 24 75 17 50 20 00 9 25 17 50 MONEY SviNg Ammieees | In the Line of Fine Suitable and Stylish up to Date Furniture For Christmas Gifts, at Reduced Prices | Now await You at M. E. Ibertson’s Great 7 day Price Reduction Sale, | Now in full force under the Special Management of the W. W. Flick This Sale is so far a Big Success” I propose to contitue it as Such by Offering Right Now When You Need them. Fine articles of Furniture at Prices as fallows. Oak China Closet Sale Price Now Oak China Closet Sale Price Now Oak China Closet Sale Price Now 9 75 Oak Extention Table Sale Price Now 11 00 Oak Extention Table Sale Price Now 15 00 Oak Extention Table Sale Price Now Oak Extention Table Sale Price Now Sale Price Now Sale Price Now Sale Price Now Oak Rocker Oak Rocker Oak Rocker esee—— ———— e ——————— et e e e 4. ettt oA e+ et et et et e Sttt 14 00 11 50 14 00 6 50 8 50 10 50 12 00 125 175 2 25 . . 4 95 . . 3 95 175 e g B R R - LR W] Articles “Too Numerous to Mention.” Husband “as a Christmas Cift” Right Now When You Can get the best rt a big Saving. Remembering that my big Sale Closes Saturday Dec. 23rd. This is Store Open Each Evcning Until 43 00 Fine Leather Devenport 35 00 Oak China Closet Hundreds of other Stylish and useful Furniture. 10 O’clock. E==M L IBERTSONE== This is Store Open Each Evening Until 10 O’clock.