Bemidji Daily Pioneer Newspaper, September 22, 1911, Page 2

THE BEMIDJT DAILY PIONEER | ILROAD TIME CARDS ||’ S00 RAILROAD 162 East Bound Leaves 9:45 a. 163 West Bound Leaves 4:37 p. 186 East Bound Leaves 2:45 p. 187 West Bound Leaves 10:38 a. GREAT NORTHERN 33 West Bound Leaves 3:30 p. 34 East Bound Leaves 12:08 p. 35 West Bound Leaves 3:42 a. 36 East Bound Leaves 1:20 a. 105 North Bound Arrives 7:45 p. 106 South Bound Leaves 6:30 a. Freight West Leaves at 9:00 a. Freight East Leaves at 3:30 p. Minnesota & International 32 South Bound Leaves 8:15 a. 31 North Bound Leaves 6:10 p. 34 South Bound Leaves 11.35 p. 33 North Bound Leaves 4:20 a. Freight South Leaves at 7:30 a. Freight North Leaves at 6:00 a. Minn. Red Lake & Man. 1 North Bound Leaves 3:35 p. 2 South Bound Leaves 10:30 a. BEBB BEBEEEEE BEEEBEE 55 PROFESSIONAL CARDS ARTS MISS CLARA ELIZABETH FISK Teacher of Elocution and Physicial Culture Res. 1013 Dewey Ave. MRS. J. A. THOMPSON 317 America Avenue will care for chil- dren up to 10 years of age. Rates reasonable. Telephone 545. Phone 181 HARRY MASTEN Piano Tuner ermerly o Radenbush & Co. of 8¢. Pau Instructor of Violin, Piano, Mando- lin and Brass Instruments. Music furnished for balls, hotels, weddings, banquets, and all occasions. Terms reasonable. All music up to date. HARRY MASTEN, Plano Tuner Room 368, Third floor, Brinkman Hote. Telephone 535 P PHYSICIANS AND SURGEONS R. ROWLAND GILMORE PHYSICIAN AND SURGEON Office—Miles Block R. E. A. SHANNON, M. D PHYSICIAN AND SURGECN Office in Mayo Block Phone 396 Res. Phone 397 R. C. R. SANBORN PHYSICIAN AND SURGEON Office—Miles Blocks A. WARD, M. D. *® Over First National Bank. Phone 51 House No. 601 Lake Blvd. Phone 351 TR. A. E. HENDERSON PHYSICIAN AND SURGEON wver First National Bank, Bemidji, Minn. ©Office Phone 36. Residence Pone 72. R. E. H. SMITH PHYSICIAN AND SURGEON Office in Winter Block R. E. H. MARCUM PHYSICIAN AND SURGEON Office in Mayo Block Phone 18 INER W. JOHNSON PHYSICIAN AND SURGEON Residence 1113 Bemidji Ave. Phone 435 Offices over Security. Bank. Phone 130 DENTISTS R. D. L. STANTUN DENTIST Office iz Winter Bleck DR. J. T. TUOMY DENTIST st National Bank Build'g. Telephone 230 R. G. M. PALMER DENTIST [Miles Block Evening Work by Appointment Only R. J. F. PETERSON DENTIST Office in Miles Block LAWYERS RAHAM!M. TORRANCE LAWYER Telephone 560 Miles Block H. FISK . ATTORNEY AT LAW Office over City Drug Store Residence Phone 21, i Making a Home Run. Augie Moran, ex-ball player and umpire, was telling a story to a group of fans. “There was a time when I played in the state league, and at that time on the Hazleton team there was a noted eater, “Kid” Jordan. Well, the year that Hazleton won the pennant noth- ing was too good for the boys, and a number of business men arranged a banquet for the team and a few of the dyed-in-the-wool rooters. Everything went off well, the courses were ar- ranged temptingly and called ‘innings,’ and the table was decorated to repre- sent a baseball field. “We had everything there was to eat, and one of the innings was roast squab. This was served on a platter and the vegetables arranged in the shape of a diamond. The base lines were made of creamed potatoes, and : at every base there was some vegeta- ble cooked and cut in the shape of a base. “This dish was a hit with the boys, and we all commented on it. I turned to Jordan, who wasn't saying much, but was industriously paying attention to the dish, and asked him how he was getting along. “‘Fine,’ he said. ‘I'm eating ’em up around third base.’” — Philadelphia Times. Up to Henry. “You talked in your sleep last night, Henry.” “Did I, my dear? Wh-what did [ say?’ “Henry, you are leading a double lite!” “No, dear; don’t—don’t say that. I think I must have been having a bad dream if I said anything that seemed | to indicate”— “A bad dream! I should think you were having a bad dream. You kept yelling ‘Robber!" ‘Rotten! ‘Kill him! ‘Run it out, you lobster!” and a lot of other things that were just as absurd. I want you to confess now—fully and freely—and I promise you that if it is anything a good woman should for- give I will forgive you.”—Chicago Ree- ord-Herald. What Became of the Trousers. Of Judge Parry’s many stories of the Manchester county court that about the comedy of a man’s Sunday trousers is one of the best. In the plaintiff’s | box was a woman, in the defendant’s an elderly collier. The plaintiff stated her case: “I lent yon mon’s missis my mon’s Sunday trousers to pay ’is rent with, an’ I want 'em back.” The de- tendant at first pepifed, “There’s nowt in it at_all.” Pressed for & more Jei: ! nite reply, he scowled at the judge and protested, “Why, the ‘ole street knows all abouf thém trousers™ But Judge Patry Was not the *’ole stregt 76d | he patiently encouraged the detendant to talk until he got the explanation, “Why, yon woman ’an my missis drank i them Sunday trousers.”—\Vestminster Gazette. Where They Parted. Meyerbeer and Rossini, in spite of all their rivalries, were the warmest of friends. Rossini once sald. *“Meyerbeer and 1 can never agree.” When some one in surprise asked why he replied. *Mey- | erbeer likes sauerkraut better than he does macaroni.” One Method. “Do you always keep a-smiling about your daily duties?" “Naw; 1 look grouchy. Then I ain't asked to do no extra work.”—Wash- ington Herald. Who overcomes by force hath over come but half his foe.—Milton. Powerful Bulls. During a debate upon the second reading of the Irish land bill in 1896 Lord Londonderry concluded a period with: “This is the keystone of the bill. Are you going to kill it?” Sir Frederick Milner, speaking on the budget. said, A cow may be drain- ed dry, and if chancellors of the ex- chequer persist in meeting every de- ficiency that occurs by taxing the brewing and distilling industry they will inevitably kill the cow that lays the golden milk!” Lord Curzon—*"The interests of the employers and employed are the same nine times out of ten—I will even say ninety-nine times out of ten!"” Discussing Mr. Asquith’s licensing bill at a meeting at Shoreditch, a8 mem- ber of parllament roused the audience to a frenzy of enthusiasm by declaring that “the time has come to strip to the waist and tuck up our shirt sleeves!” What Is Electricity? Manz persons young and old often wonder how the modern electric cars, trains and lvcomotives are operated and what electricity is. No one knows what electricity is. We know some of | the things that it will do. We have to a certain extent learned how to con- trol it and for want of a better name call it a fluid. We have discovered, too, that it is one of the most impor- tant forces, if not the most important force, of which we have any knowl- edge. We are almost as ignorant of many other great forces of nature—as, | for example, the attraction of gravita- tion. For the present we must be con- tent to observe such forces in action and to devise the best methods to con- trol them. In this knowledge mankind ! has progressed wonderfully within a few years.—St. Nicholas. Fishing Without Bait. On the Nadoo creek, at Hukow, we saw a novel way of fishing. Two small boats were moving parallel with each other about thirty feet apart. The ends of a line about sixty feet long to which small unbaited hooks were attached about four inches apart to two sticks were held respectively by a man in each boat. As the boats | moved slowly along first one man and | then the other would give his stick a | jerk. Immediately that the hooks struck anything the line was gradu- ally hauled in and invariably with success. We saw fish struck four out ! of five times. many of them running | apparently from half a pound to two or more pounds. It may be that Chi- na is the only place in the world where fish are caught with unbaited | zam hooks,—North China News, Modern Childhood. i Giandiiothiet—Abd HoW Would voti like me to tell you a stor; S Advranced Child—Ch. no. a story, please! They're so stodgy and unconvincing and as out of date as tunes in music. We should much pre- fer an impressionist word picture or a subtle character sketch.— London Punch. Funny, but Not Humorous. “Who says there are no women hu morists?" “l don't know. Why “My typewriter spells as funny as Artemus Ward in his palmiest days.” —Louisville Courier-Journal. The Inducement. “John, whatever induced you to buy a house in this forsaken region?” “One of the best real estate men in the business.”—Life. If the thief lacks opportunity he thinks himself honest.—Sterne. - —r % Bemidji, jyears 1 was afflicted with kidney ! Doan’s Kidney Pills and the contents NO REASON FOR IT When Bemidji Citizens Show the Certain Way Out. There can be no just reason why | any reader of this will continue to suffer the tortures of an aching back, the annoyance of urinary disorders, the danger o diabetes or any kidney ills when relief is so near at hand and the most positive proof given that they can be curer. Read what a Be- midji citizen says: i P. M. Dicaire, 1237 Irvine Ave.. Bemidji., Minn., says: “For fifteen trouble and I believe that it was caused by heavy lifting. My back was extremely painful, especially when I stooped and ached so intense- ly at night that I could not get my’ proper rest. I had dizzy spells and often aftcr stooping, my sight was Finally 1 began blurred. taking of a few boxes entirely relieved me. Since that time I have had no further need of a kidney medicine.” For sale by all dealers. Price 50 cents, Foster-Milburn Co., Buffalo, New York, sole agents for the United States. Remember the and take no other. name—Doan’s— NURSE A, SMITH Q.C.H.L.O.S. KAISER HOUSE €09 Bemidji Ave. 1 Young Men’s Two Button and Three Button Suits Have the Call. DAVID M. PFAELZER & CO'S Is a guarantee of latest cut, dash, poise, atttactive Datterns and mer- chant-tailored individuality. RETAILED EXCLUSIVELY BY JOHN G. ZIEGLEER “THE LAND MAN" Fire=- Life REAL ESTATE IN ALL ITS BRANCHES FARM LANDS BOUCHT AND SOLD Co to Him for Farm Loans Office--Odd Fellows Building )| G NONE GENUINE WITHOUT THIS SIGNATURE | | Maternity andGeneralNursing | To the Investor and Home-Builder We have selected a number of lots—some of the most desirable in the residence district of Bemidji—which we are selling on the EASY PAYMENT PLAN—smali cash payment—balance, weekly or monthly at 8 per cent. For description of lots and full information regarding these and other lots in Bemidji, write us or call on H. A. Simons our local representative. Bemidji Townsite & Improvement Co, 520 Capital Bank Building 8T. PAUL MINNESOTA READY-TO-WEAR CLOTHES Hats, Shoes and Fine Furnishings Men’s and Boys’ GILL BROS. FALLEXHIBIT of the Correct New Styles in is now ready and complete, and we can say with pardonable pride that never before have we or any other store in Bemidji shown such extensive assortments or such attractive values. We earnestly invite your inspection of the new goods whether you intend to buy or not, and should you wish to buy, our assortments are surely large enough and our values good enough to certainly please you. GILL BROTHERS THE STORE THAT SATISFIES Minn