Bemidji Daily Pioneer Newspaper, January 13, 1911, Page 4

8 Provided For In Advance. . A playwright in an'interview in New. York said that without attertion to the minutest details theatical success could rarely be attained. - “And yet,” he added, smiling, “even this grand virtue of attention to de: tails may be carried to excess. Thus a certain playwright said at rehearsal to his leading man: “‘Now, remember, John, after you speak this line, “Helen, I Wwill save you though I perish,” pause and wait for the applause.” “But the leading man sneered and answered cynically: “‘How do you know there'll be any applause? “‘That is my business, not yours, John,” the playwright answered with calm confidence.” —Washington Star. Fresh Discovery of an Old Truth. Helen’s enjoyment of the party given in honor of her ninth birthday was nearly spoiled by the {1l tempered outbreaks of a very pretty and well dressed little girl who was among her guests. A peacemaker appeared, how- ever, in a plain and rather shabby child, who proved herself a veritable little angel of tact and good will. After her playmates were gone Hel- en talked it all over very seriously with her mother. She summed it up in this piece of philosophical wisdom: “Well, I've found out ome thing, mamma. [Folks don’t always match their outsides.”—Woman’s Home Com- panion. Kindly Fruits. The expression in the prayer book “Kindly fruits of the earth” has for most persons no definite meaning on account of the difference in sigpifi- cance now attached to the word kind- ly from that used when the expression ‘was first written. The word kindly in that connection meant as nearly as possible “of its kind,” and the expres- sion “kindly fruits of the earth” meant “the fruits of the carth each efter its kind.” Why Waste His Breath? Teacher—Now, Tommy, suppose you had two apples and you gave another boy his choice of them. You would tell him to take the bigger one, wouldn’t you? Tommy—No, mum. Teacher— Why? Tommy—Cos 'twouldn’t be nec- essary.—Suburban Life. The Onion. The onion has been so long fn culti- vation that its original form is not def- Initely known. There are so called wild onions that grow in the woods. Nobody ever tastes them but once, and there is about the taste no suggestion that cultivation or anything else could ever make them grateful to the human palate. In all probability the onion is a native of western Asia and adjacent parts of Africa. since it is mentioned in old Egyptian writings and the Pen- tateuch. Tart Repartee. Of Sir William Harcourt, Disraeli once said in his affectedly cynical way, “He has the three essential qualifica- tlons of success in politics—a fine per- son, a loud voice and no principles.” To this when it was repeated to him Harcourt rejoined, “Leaving out the first two qualifications, it might al most be applied to ‘Dizzy’ himself.” An Autobiography. Mrs. Chugwater—Josiah, what i an autobiography? Mr. Chugwater—It's the story of a man's life written as he thinks it ought to be. Couldn’t you tell that from the word itself?—Chica- go Tribune. A Success. Byker—I attended a successful sleight of hand performance last night. Embarrassing Question. Police Justice—Have you any way of making a living? Vagrant—I hev’ y'r honor. 1 kin make brooms. Pollce Justice — You can? Where did you learn that trade? Vagrant—I1 decline to answer, your honor.—Home Herald. T0 ALL AILING WOMEN A Little Sound Advice Will Help Many a Sufferer in Bemidji. No woman can be healthy and well if the kidneys are sick. Poisons that pass off in the secretions when the kidneys are well, are retained in the body when the kidneys are sick. Kidneys and bladder become inflamed and swolen and worse troubles quick- ly follow. This is often the true cause of bearing down pains, lame-| ness, backache, sideache, etc. Uric poisoning also causes headaches, dizzy spells, languor. nervousness and rheumatic pain. When suffering so, try Doan’s Kidney Pills, a remedy that cures sick kidneys. You will get better as the kidneys get better, and health will return when the kidneys are well, Let a Bemidji woman tell you about Doan’s Kidney Pills: Mrs. Thomas Wilson, 111 Park Ave., Bemidji, Minn., says: “I was troubled with disordered kidneys for three or four years and at times it was difficult for me to do my work. Having my attention called to Doan’s Kidney Pills, I decided to try them and procured a supply. They gave me such great relief that I take pleasure in recommending them to kidney sufferers.” For sale by all dealers. Price 50 cents. Foster-Milburn Co., Buf- falo, New York, sole agents for the United States. Remember the name—Doan's— and take »o other. His Literary Trodsures. : “Joties tookk tne to his rooms to see a collection of rare and curious manu- scripts.” “What were they?” - “Receipted tailors’ bills.”—Cleveland Leader. g Family Jars. The beginning of many family jars comes with the wife trylng to jar a little money loose from the hustand.— Atlanta Constitution. An Indication, “Is your daughter getting on well with her music?” “I guess so. The neighbors are get- ting so they speak to me civilly again.” —Tolede 1=~ Make not thy friends too cheap to thee nor thyself to thy friends.—Ful- L. 8opekifie: e “I heard one man,” said the play- wright, “who attended the premiere of my new play last night complain that 1t was so late when he got out.” es?” querled the critic. 3 “Yes, and yet the final curtain fell before 10:45.” Zi “Ah, perhaps he oversiept himself!” ~—Catholic Standard and Times. Sparrowgrass. 1t Is stated that a well known riddle was written by a costermonger. ‘The riddle In question Is a charade and runs as follows: My first’s a little bird as "ops; My second's needful in ‘ay crops; My ‘ole 15 good with mufton chops. The answer, of course, is “sparrow- grass,” which the learned Dr. Parr al- ‘ways insisted on using in preference to the politer “asparagus.”—London Notes T, and Queries. s A Natrow Escape, “What! You a'widow, dear cousin?™ “Yes.” “Well, that’s a lucky escape for me. Do you know, I nearly married you once.”—Bon Vivant., T A Roast. “It takes Freddle so long to tmake up his mind.” “Why should it? He has almost no material to work on.”—Cleveland Lead- Excluded, Ascum—Well, well! 1 congratulate you, old man.” And how is the baby to. be named? Popley—By my wife's people, it seems.—Exchange. A long, slow friendship is the best; a ‘long, slow enmity the deadliest.— Merriam. AWAKE NIGHTS Children were intended to sleep When they are wakeful and fretful, it is time to worry. Kickapoo ‘Worm Killer, (the delicious candy tab- lets) is a great medicine for children. It cleans the system of poisonous sub- stances which cause sleeplessness. It removes acids which impoverish the blood; it tones up all of the f\':pcfiom. it makes strong, healthy sold by druggists M. MALZAHN & CO. * REAL ESTATE AND INSURANCE FARMILOANS, RENTALS Boats and Engines Have your repairs done now before the rush. It Will Gost You Less All Work Guaranteed Gapt, W, B. MacLachlan Telephone 233 Defects QuicKLY GOBIEG'.I'III The chief surgeon of the Plastic Surgery Institute quickly rights all wrongs with the human face or features without knife or pain to the entire satisfaction and de- light of every patient. The work| is as lasting as life itself. If you have a facial irregularity of any| kind write P Pl Sy s FARMS AND CITY PROPERTIES 107 Minn. Ave. Bemidji, Minn TO ALL FROM STANDARD MANUFACTURERS who have decided to spend thelr advertising money with you, by packing 1.0. U. NOTES with all their packages. WHAT THIS MEANS TO YOU Every time you purchase a package of COCOA, CHOCOLATE, COFFEE and other PRODUCTS, you will find packed with it an I. 0. U. NOTE, which is really,a.checksigned by the Manufacturer. With thesel. 0. U. NOTES you can purchase WHATEVER YOU DESIRE FROM YOUR-STORE-KEEPER (In Your Own Town) Your STOREKEEPER will be glad to}get these 1. 0. U. NOTES, as he makes an EXTRA PRO- FIT on every sale made in this way. 1. 0. U. COMPANY 3 West 20th Street NEW YORK N. Y. TO ALL Watch for the 1. 0. U. ARROW