Bemidji Daily Pioneer Newspaper, December 12, 1910, Page 2

A Nice Calculation, Two very dear old ladies walked up to the window where tickets were to be sold for two popular concerts. They wanted tickets for both nights; but. alas, those for the second evening were all gone! This was the more popular entertainment of the two. “I'm so sorry, my dear!” pattered one of the old ladies to the other.' “We did want to go, didn’t we, and we wanted to go both nights?’ “You couldn’t give us two tickets for each night?” inquired the other of the clerk. “No, ma’am.” “You haven't two seats anywhere for the second night?” “No, ma’am. Couldn’t give you nose room.” A great resolution beamed upon her gentle face. “Then,” said she firmly, four tickets for the first night. will make them do.” “Why, sister,” quavered the other, “you're going to invite somebody ?”’ “No,” said she, “but if we can’t go both nights”’— She paused, bewilder- ed, quite out of her calculation. Then | a happy thought struck her, and she added, “We’ll go twice the first night.” —~—Youth’s Companion. “give me We A Wandering Lake. Lake Nor, in the Tabi desert, in southwestern Asia, which has been called the “wandering lake,” presents a phenomenon about which contra- dictory views have been entertained. Perhaps the Swedish explorer Sven Hedin has given the most plausible explanation touching this phenome- non. It appears, according to that explor- er, that the Tarim river, entering the lake from the west, brings down dur- ing the period of high water late in summer a great quantity of salt, which has the effect of driving the lake lying on the level floor of the desert toward the southeast. But the sum- mer wind, drifting the surface sand and darkening the heavens with dust, blows generally from the northeast, and it, too, tends to drive the lake be- fore it. The combined effect of the urging by the wind and the river is to force the lake southward. Yet it is thought the migration of the lake is not constant in direction, but it shifts back and forth intermittently, according as the circumstances change. She Forgot. At 3 o’clock the absentminded wo- sman left home with an umbrella. At the subway station she concluded it wouldn’t rain and left the umbrella with the corner newsdealer. When she came back at 6 o'clock it was raining. Boys with umbrellas to rent darted toward her when she appeared at the head of the subway stairs. She paid one boy 10 cents to escort her home. Then she remembered her own umbrella. Sheltered by a borrowed umbrella, she went back to get it. The newsdealer looked uneasy. “Just a minute,” he said. come here!” A small boy dodged around.the cor- ner of the stand and handed over a dripping umbrella. The absentminded woman looked at the boy; she looked at the umbrella, She recognized both. “Idiot!” she said. “I paid that boy 10 cents for taking me home with my own umbrella.”—New York Press. “Oh, Tom, The Amen of Nature. Do you ever wonder why poets talk so much about flowers? Did you ever hear of a poet who did not talk about them? Don't you think a poem which, for the sake of being original, should leave them out would be like those verses where the letter a or e or some other is omitted? No; they will bloom over and over again in poems as in the summer fields, to the end of time, always old and always new. Why should we be more shy of repeating ourselves than the spring be tired of blossoms or the night of stars? Look at nature. She never wearies of say- ing over her floral paternoster. In the crevices of cyclopean walls, in the dust where men lie, dust also; on the mounds that bury huge cities, the Birs | Nemroud and the Babel heap, still that same sweet prayer and benediction. The amen of nature is always a flow- er.—Oliver Wendell Holmes. The First Fork. The first fork? The fork, as a mat- ter of fact, did not appear as a table implement until the seventeenth cen- tury, though as early as the thirteenth century gold and silver ones were made for special purposes. The ordi- nary diner was only provided with a trencher, a napkin and a spoon. For knife he used his own, which he car- ried about, and, worse, there was no second trencher, no second spoon. When the several courses came along he exercised his ingenuity and mopped his trencher with his bread. His spoon—well, we ourselves lick postage stamps!—London Chronicle. ' Comparing Notes. Mrs. Slowboy—My husband’s so lazy that if it wasn’t for me I don’t believe he would get up in time to go to bed. Mrs. Rounder—My husband’s differ- ent. He scarcely goes to bed in time to get up. Appropriate Treatment. The Thoughtful Man—What would |} you recommend as treatment for a man who is always going around with ® poor mouth? Send him to a dentist. ‘ He Did. 1 “Did Simkins get any damages in that assault case?”’ “Did he? My dear fellow, you ought to see his face.” A man without patience is a lamp without oil.—De Musset. L) ——— The Funny Fellow— || When Lincoln Sat For His Bust. ‘When Vinnie Ream.: the sculptor, was a mere child still and her experi- ence in modeling consisted of a few busts and medallions she timidly ask- ed President Lincoln to permit her to model his bust. "“1 don’t know why any one should want the picture or statue of so homely a man,” he an- swered and at first declined to sit. But when Senator Nesmith told him that the western girl, ‘““who ‘was poor, but talented.” would be disappointed it unable to secure this favor he turn- ed quickly and said: *‘She is poor, is she? Well, that is nothing against her. and I will sit for the model.” During the sittings the great man would watch with much. interest the hands of the girl sculptor at her work: but, speaking of him later, she said: “For the most part he was 'sad and silent, weighed upon by the stress of a nation in peril and his own recent personal loss of a beloved son. Ah, those were sad days at the White House! One day the president's eyes were full of tears as he turned from gazing out of the window, and he said to me, ‘I am thinking of Willie." "—De- signer. Curious Training Methods. Every baseball player seems to have his own system, and some of the metk- of any practicable value. catcher who joined a National league club a few years ugo brought five gal- lons of iron, beef and wine in jugs in his' tfunk to make him strong.. Can- non' balls that weigh twenty-five pounds are used to roll over the abdo- men. Iron rolling pins. special band- ages, a thousand kinds of rubbing oils and lotions, ranging from patent med- icines to horse liniments and oil made by boiliig down fishing worms, vibra- tors ‘of all sizes and shapes, odd arm: bakers to be superheated with electricity and rubber bands are em- ployed. Hotel rooms are turned into gymnasiums, and one of the funniest CHR Fountain Pen Pens in all sizes ments-of the Season. From 15¢ o $1.50 Xmas Lables, Tags and Letters| - - ods used are laughable, and few are | One young | The Parker Lucky Curve Art Calenders, Xmas ‘Gards and Book Marks “Should Auld = Acquaint- ance be Forgot,” send a little remembrance to the friends of long ago, some little thing that will carry the compli- Art Calenders in prices gights of a year is to.sit in a cal game with half a dozen players swath: ed like puffy mummies in blankets, sweaters and flannels until they look as if they were starting on an tic journey.—American Magazine: Wellington’s Coolness. The Duke of Wellington was one day sitting at-his library table when the”door opened and without any an- nouncement in stalked a figure.of, sin- gularly ill omen. ¢ 4 *“Who are you?” asked the duke in his short and dry’ manner, looking up without the slightest change of coun- tenance upoun the intruder. “] am Apollyon. 1 am sent here to kill you.™ "Klll me? Very odd.”: “I am Apollyon and must put you to death.” ** "Bliged to do it today"“ “1 am not told the'day or the hour, but I must do my mission.” . + “Very inconvenient: very busy: great many letters to write. Call again or write me word. I’ll be ready for you." The duke then went on with his cor- respondence. The maniac. appalled probably by the stern, immovable old gentleman, backed out of the room and. in half an hour was in an asylum. A Legend of February. Here is the pretty legend -which tells why February has only twenty-eight or twenty-nine days. Long ago, they say, February was a gambler, and ne was so unlucky that he soon lost all his money. Like other gamblers, he tried to recover it, and he said to his companions that if they would lend him some money he would give them as security one of' his days. jJanuary and March, who were naturally asso- ciateds with him more often than-any i of the other months, accepted his: of- fer. and as poor February soon :lost the money which he had borrowed each of them acquired one of his days. That is why January and March have each thirty-one d nd February has | response, y fice boy | sion row. . , ARTHUR N. GOULD TMAS SHOPPING—--DO IT NOW Only a few Shopping Days Remain Until Xmas With the rapid approach of the Hollday Season thoughts begm to turn toward appropriate gifts What gift is more acceptable than someting in my line, you’ll surely be able to find just what you want in this large and carefully selected line of holiday merchandise. Make Your Selections While the Assoriments Are Gomplete Christmas Leater Goods Don’t hesitate in buying Leather Goods. In this large assorment of useful gifts you will find just what you Pncns from $1.50 to §7| want Ladis’ Leather Hand Bags from $1 fo $16 Hand Painted and Burnt Pillow Gorers from $5 1o $10 Hand Painted, Burnt and Apphque Leather doilies, table mats and wall hangers, all prices From 50¢ o $10 nly G0 ordinary and t venty-nine in leap years. /. A Faithful Servant. Carlyle told once of a lawsuit pend- ing in Scotland affecting the succes- sion to a great estate of which he had'! | known something. The case depended | on a family secret known only to one old servant, who refused to reveal it. A kirk minister was sent to tell her she must speak on peril of her soul. “Peril of my saul!" she said. *And Wwould ye put the honor of an auld Scottish family in competition with the saul of a poor creature like me?” -¥W/hen Women Rule the Wave. “Captain, 1 have to report that the ship is sinking rapidly.” *I wish to goodness, Gexgtie, you wouldp’t ‘bother me so often. How- ever, you may cut her stays, which will probabiy relieve her, and have the stewardess serve tea at once in the pink room Life. Platt’s Response. Thomas (. Platt was asked once upen a time who@ he considered the greatest Republican politician of his day and generation. *“1 have often wished.” was Platt’s “that I had been Quay's of- for sis months or more.”— Pittsburg Dispatch. Cash and Credit. "I‘.nhr'r what ruptey “Bankruptey money in your hip pocket and let your creditors take your coat.”—Fliegende Blatter. Five Thousand Turkeys Perish. Minneapolis, Dec. 12.—Fire did $15,- 000 damage to three firms in Commis; About 5,000 turkeys on the upper flocrs were suffocated, while 1,000 ducks enjoyed themseives in tha flooded ba is meant by bank- [ is when you put your || THE MODEL DRY CLEANING HOUSE HOCANSON BROS., Proprietors Telophone No. 537 106 Second Stres Dry Cleaning of Ladies’ and Gents’ Clothing, Rugs, Carpets, Household Furnishings, etc. Also Sponging and Pressing on Short Notice. MR. RENTER Have you ever stopped to think that every few years you practically pay for the house you ‘live in and yet do not own it? Figure it up for, yourself. Thecdore Roosevelt says: “No Investment on earth is so safe, so sure, so certain to enrich its owners as undeveloped realty.” We will be glad to tell “you about the City of Be- midji. and quote you prices with easy terms of payment if desired on some of the best residence and business property in that rapidly growing City. A letter addressed to us will bring you full particu- lars or if you prefer to see the property, call on H. A. Simons, at Bemidji. The Soo Railroad is now running its freight and passenger trains into Bemidji; investigate the oppor- tunities off=red for business on a small or large scale. Bemidji Townsite & Improvement Co. 404 New York Life Bullding ST. PAUL MINNESOTA Indians, made from pure wool very appropriate for Den, library or parlor, all colors. Prices from $10 to $30 bums holding from 50 to 500 cards, in fahcy embossed 1eather covefs, also Photo Albums from Xmas Post Gars 2 for 5¢ -Smokers Arficles Navajo Rugs Hand woven by the Navajo Fine Murschaum and briar pipes in genuine plush lined Seal leather cases. Post Gard Albums . Prices from $1 fo $15 All sizes and styles Al- Gigars In' all the leading clear Havana and Domestic brands, packed in boxes of 10, 12, 25 and 50 put up expressly for the Holiday trade. Scts to $3