Bemidji Daily Pioneer Newspaper, December 7, 1910, Page 4

THE BEMIDJI.DAILY PIONEER PUBLISHED EVERY AFTERNOON EXCEPT SUNDAY BY THE BEMIDJI PIONEER PUBLISHING CO. ‘E. H. DENU. . E. CARSON. Extord ki the Postoffice at Bemid)l, Minnessts, as second class matter. SUBSCRIPTION---$5.00 PER YFAR I :DVANGE CITY OF BEMIDJI g:.ultlytins:.—t'ln 1900, 1500; in 1910, 7000. Summer Resort—Hundreds of outsiders make their summer homes on Lake Be- midji. Fishing, boating and bathing ac- commodations are second to none in the United States. Area—Ten square miles incorporated. Altitude—1400 feet above sea level. Water Power—2200 developed horse- power, Mississippi river. Water—Absolutely pure. Two artesian wells. Water Mains—About ten.miles. Boating—500!miles by lake and river. Death Rate—5.4 a thousand in 1908. Annual Rainfall—33.7 inches. Temperature—20 above, winter; 75 summer, mean. Sewer Mains—About fivefmiles. Cement Sidewalks—Twelve ailes. Lakeshore Drives—Ten miles. Parks—Two. Water Frontage—Ten miles, two lakes and Mississippi river. A Home Town—1600 residences. Taxpayers—1200. Churches—8. School Houses—Four. Baak Deposits—$800,000. Manufactures—Hardwood handles, lum ber, lath, shingles, and various other industries. Great Distributing /Point—Lumber prod- ucts, groceries flour, feed and hay. Postal Receipts—$17,000 for 1909, 10th place in state:outside of St. Paul, Minne- apolis and Duluth. Railroads—Great Northern. Minnesota & International, M., R. L. & M., Minneapolis St. Paul & Sault Ste. Marie, Wilton & Northern, Grand Forks to Duluth, and Bemidji-Sauk Centre. Railroad Depots—Three. Passenger Trains—Fourteenjdaily. Hospitals—One. Distances—To St. Paul, 12230 miles; to Duluth, 167 miles. Hotels—Fifteen. Breweries—One. Sawmills—Four. Handle Factories—One. Wholesale Houses—Four. Banks—Three. Auto Garages—One. , Shop, you squad of snails, shop. For there are only fifteen more days in which to do it. Speaking of Christmas presents. How would a bomb do for “‘Pussy- foot?” Anyhow, there is no federal law abolishing cigarets and state laws don’t count. Men in the state of Washing ton are being taught by suffragec tes to wash dishes. They should next be taught to knit while ped dling the gossip without missing a bite on their chewing gum. After the high school girls had served lunch which they had cooked themselves, at the agricultural insti- tute, there wasn’t a farmer present who wasn’t ready to add peaches to the list of things that can be raised in Beltrami county. Talk about t-e delights of the tropics: Why, one of these clear. crisp morning is worth a week of sullen, sweaty, sleepy sun b kes, From daylight on, when the mer- cury is cuddled below the zero mark, the same feeling as a drink of “rabbit’” whisky is produced, and ¢rabbit” whisky, you know, makes a rabbit want to fight a bulldog. EDISON ON DEATH Interesting because of his promi- nence as one of the world’s greatest inventors,-is Thomas A. Edison views of the hereafter, although to many of his friends they comeasa shock. Mr. Edison says: *““The only religion needed in this world is the Golden Rule. If every one practiced it there would be no more trouble or poverty or unhappi- ness. It is a perfectly pracfical proposition and would ' not be hard for most of us to follow if we got a|P@ little encouargement from our neigh- bors. And those who refused to keep it should be forced to by the police. VYes, sir; but I'd put every one in jail who wouldn’t to unto his peighbor as they would have their neighbor do unto him. “This world is organized on im- practical lines. No one is happy. Most of us are miserable. Some people have too much power, and others have not a chance to earn enough to have two meals a day. But it is growing better slowly, as all great things should grow. Fifty years ago you could not have started a society for the prevention of cruelty to children or animals Peo- ple would have laughed at you. A few years before that, they wuul:_i have jeered at teaching most of the things that are taught in the public schools. “Newspapers were few and timid and dear. Every night now in ‘the cars and on the ferry boats you can see hundreds of laboring men read- ing newspapers and learning, wak- ing up to their own power as free citizens and voters. p “The world will be happy yet, but it will not be anarchy that will ac- complish it, but education. Let them build lots of school houses and teach the people how to use the ballot and insist upon putting up the right men. ‘“‘Religion, ‘hereafter,’ what do these ministers know about it that I do not? I wonder how many of them have seen the things that are being done at the Rockefeller institute, where they cut off a leg putit in cold storage for a week and then sew it on again—and it knits and heals and feels and is alive just like any other living limb? § “I believe implicitly the time is not far distant when they will be able to put a man in cold storage for six months or so and then warm him up and discharge him from the hospital alive and kicking. = Why the other day they took a dog’s heart out and put dog and heart into cold storage and left them there a week. Today hat dog is running around the laboratory. Isaw him myself. His heart is back in place and he feels chipper and fine. “Everything is material. We have no thoughts. They are simply im- pressions that we get from outside. Our brains ‘are like records that take impressions from our environ- ment. We get nothing from within. “People say I have created things. I never have created anything. I get impressions from the universe at large and work them out, but I am only a plate on a record or a receiv- ing apparatus—what you will. “No, I do not believe a man’s mind lives after him. His work lives after him, but his work is a material thing. “The Golden Rule is all thatis needed. I’'m dead five hours every night, and when I die and decom- pose I shall live only in phonographs and tickers and storage batteries. I shall not be playing a harp or boil- ing in oil or haunting any one. I shall be dead. “But I am willing to take my chances with all these people worried to death about their little present souls, who write me abusive letters that fill up my mail bags and worry my clerks. I’ll take my chance.” Of course Mr. Edison is entitled to his own views even though they are antagonistic to the belief of a majority of the inhabitants of the world ever since there was a world. Ouida Out of Sorts. Ouida in a decidedly pessimistic mood appears in Lady Dorothy Nevill’s reminiscences. In 1887 Ouida sent to Lady Dorothy a card bearing the fol- lowing *“jubilee epitaph:” Full half a century of measures small, Weak wits, weak words, weak wars, and that is all. It is« amazing that Ouida could even for a imoment have lapsed into such dull. snappishness. Lady Doro- thy’s ascription of*the foolish couplet to “feelings of depression” is doubt- less just.—New York Tribune. Defining the Difference. “Madam,” said one French gentle- man introducing another, *“this is the Marquis de Blank, and I assure you he is not such a fool as-he looks.” “Madam,” quietly remarked the marquis, with a bow, “my friend has just stated the exact difference be- tween himself and me.” Blighted Affections. Now the ashes of my heart are enr tombed in my breast, as in a sepul- cher of ice, yet once that heart was formed of fire and burned and raged ntil it perished, self consumed.—From “The Parricide.” Avoid popularity; it has many snares and no real benefit.—Penn. - e e Under the Orator’s Spell. . Justice Brewer was once speaking of the oratory of John ‘B. Gough. ' “l would go home after hearing his elo- quence thoroughly elated, but when , my father or mother asked wme what Gough had said 1 could not tell them for the life of me. I remember once at a Yale commencement along in ‘the fifties, about the time that [ was gradu- ated there, an incident illustrating the force of personal magnetism. Gough was to deliver an oration. He spoke. of course, on temperance. There was a distinguished audience. On the stage were many of the venerable, notable men in New Haven of that day. A large space was clear about the table. for Gough liked to walk back and forth as he talked. He described how a drunkard had beaten his wife and came to his climax with, ‘Any man wno would kick a woman ought to 'be kicked out of the universe!’ : “He emphasized his words with a vigorous thrust of ‘one: foot, whereat every person on the stage, intensely wrought up by the orator. likewise kicked outward as did Gough.”—Kan- sas City Journal. When Tabby Raises Her Battle Cry. Despite the cat’s softness, laziness, fluffiness and purring amiability, her piercing warcry in the night startles and exasperates us beyond all bearing —not by its loudness, but by a certain vicious, weird, half terrifying, half in- furiating note in it that makes us spring to arms with the bootjack or other substitute for the boomerang, as the warwhoop of our tribal enemies did a century or centuries ago, says Dr. Woods Hutchinson in Success Mag- azine. . One of Mark Twain’s wise old fron- tiersman had caught this note when he explained to the tenderfoot that an imal speech had rules of composition and grammer, just like buman speech. and that *“the reason a cat riles ye so ain’t on account of the noise she makes, but on account of the sickenin® bad grammar she uses.” And be was right, for the grammar of scalp lifting and the whole alphabet of battle, mur der and sudden death tingles and screaws in the rasping cry. Two Can Play. “Waiter.” called the irate diner, “there seems to be a dollar. on this bill 1 can’t account for.” “Oh, that's just a joke, sir,” apolo- gized the waiter, “just a bet the cash- ier and I have. [I'll have it fixed right away, sir.” “What do you mean about a bet?" asked the diner, detaining him. “Well, sir, 1 bet the cashier 50 cents you would see the mistake, and he bet you wouldn't, so I win, sir.”” “Suppose 1 hadn’t noticed it?” “He'd have got the dollar, sir.” “Oh, I see. Give me your pencil.” And'he wrote a few lines on the back of the bill, folded it up and banded it to the waiter. *“Take that to the cash- fer." e The waiter leaned over the cashier’s shoulder as he unfolded the paper. It read: < “I’ll bet you $5 that when you send this back you don’t find me.” And they didn’t.—Lippincott’s. Practical Help. “Mister,”” whined the mendicant with the wooden leg, “‘can’t you help a poor old sailor wot has had his leg bitten off by a shark?”’ “Dear me!” exclaimed the kindg hearted professor. “I believe 1 can, my poor man. Come around to the col- lege.” After hobbling along for ten blocks the professor led the way through an iron gate and up to his study. “Here you are, my poor man. Now. don’t say I never gave you anything.” The beggar almost toppled over with astonishment. “W-what’s that, sir?” “Why, that’s my latest book on ‘Sharks and Their Ways.’ If you have that book with you when you fall over- board next time you won’'t lose the other leg. You'll know just how to dodge them. Good day.”—Chicago News. Earliest Theater. ‘What was probably one of the earli- est theaters built was the theater of Dionysus, which was begun five centu- ries before Christ. The seating capac- ity of this remarkable building is said to have been 30,000, nearly four times that of our largest amusement palace. The theater of Dionysus was erected when Greek art and literature were in their prime. Here were presented to appreciative spectators the wonderful works of Aeschylus, Sophocles and Euripides. A Sickly Diary. “Look here, old chap, I'll give you a valuable tip,” said the experienced married man to the prospective bride- groom. “Don’t let your wife keep a diary on the honeymoon. My wife did that, and now whenever we quarrel she brings it out and reads some of the idiotic things I said to her then.” A Serious Joke. “What has happened to Mr. White, “who used to be such.a joker?” “Well, he proposed to his present wife as a joke. She accepted him, and he has given up making jokes ever since.”—Dorfbarbler. Receiving. Mr. Closecoyne (during his wife’s receptionn—She gives 'em lights, she gives ’em music. she gives ’em food. flowers, champagne, and that’s what she calls receiving.—London Tit-Bits. Prepared. Milly—Do you think widowers make good husbands? Billy—Sure. = They know what's coming to them.—New York Times. _ Courtaut the Wolf. Paris has forgotten the time when it used to go in terror of the wolves which carried off women and children from the streets and even raided the graveyards. At one time they became so mad with desire for human flesh that in a single week they devoured fourteen persons, all between Mont- martre and the gate of St. Antoine. On the vigil of St. Martin (says Grace James in “Joan of Arc”) there was hunted and taken a horrible wolf, “which it was said had done more, and more cruelly, than many others put together. That day he was killed. He had no tail, and from that he was called Courtaut. There was as much talk about him as if he had been an outlaw of the woods or a cruel cap- tain, and when he lived folk said to one another as they went forth to la- bor in the fields, ‘Look out for Cour- taut’ And on- this day he was taken through Paris in a cart, dead, with his great jaws open, and all the peo- ple went to see, and they made holi- day and rejoiced, because Courtaut could trouble them no more.” Rented Wedding Cakes. There was something wrong with the cake, the baker said. It looked all right, and it smelled all right, but his artistic sense told him it would not taste all right. “Then fix it up with an extra coat of icing and we will keep it for a renter,” said the proprietor. “Who in the world would rent a cake?’ some one asked. “Wedding parties,” said he. “They want a big cake in the center of the table for show, but a cake of that size good enough for a wedding would cost more than they can afford to pay, so they order fine cake put up in.individ- ual boxes for the guests and use the bride’s cake just as an ornament. They don’t buy it; they rent it. Sometimes a cake is rented a dozen different times. After each wedding it is fresh- ened up with a new coat of icing and looks as good as new for the next oc- casion. A good renter fetches about $3 a wedding."—New York Press. Sarcastic Cabby. A certain nobleman, who may be called Lord X.. hears the reputation of being somewhat stingy in money matters. On a wet afterncon he hired A cab to take him to Victoria station. Arrived at the station, he handed the cabman a shilling and of course was met by the inevitable demand for an extra sixpence. “Certainly not,” said the other promptly. “You came the longest way as an excuse to extort money. Why didn’t you go through St. James’ park?” ) The cabman saw he had no chance and said sneeringly: “Cos St. James’ That's why.” “Nonsense.” said the other sternly. “It’s ‘right, though,” was the grave reply. “They say that Lord X. dropped a shilling coming across' the park last evening, and the gates are closed until they #ind it.”—London Tit-Bits. park is closed. Shut Her Up. A young wife was continuously pes- tered by her mother-in-law about the way she was bringing up her firstborn babe. The young wife was intelligent and capable, and she was really doing very well with the baby. From her mother-in-law, however, she got noth- ing but sour advice, warnings and veil- ed abuse. One day the mother-in-law, looking fixedly at the mother with her baby on her lap, said angrily: “A woman has no right to have a child if she doesn’t know how to hold it “No, nor a torigue either,” was the quiet reply.—Detroit Free Press. Berlin. “Berle,” from which Berlin has caught her name, means uncultivated | land. Slavonian Wends, the earliest settlers on the sandy plain, could make but little out of the soil. The popula- tion in 1832 was only 250,000. Less than forty years later it was 800,000, and now it runs into 2,000,000. The man who gave to Berlin its present form was Frederick II., but Frederick the Great-and the Great Elector started the noble hobby of beautifying the wonderful city. The Mantle of Charity. The lady was making some remarks about the kind of clothing some other ladies at church had on. s “The finest garment a woman can wear,” said her husband, “is the man- tle of charity.” “Yes,” she snapped, “and it is about the only dress, judging by the fuss they make over the bills, that some husbands want their wives to wear.” Sweden’s “Church Boat.” The “church boat’ is a popular insti- tution in Sweden. It brings families to gervice from the farms around Lake Siljan to Leksand. The water route is the nearest and most convenient, and g0 the big boat goes from farm to farm along the shore picking up the c_hurch- goers, who later return by the same route.—Wide World Magazine. ¥ .. Counting the Cost. ' “What's the cost of a marriage 1l- cense?” asked a youth whose fancy had lightly turned to thoughts of con- nubial felicity. » “Well,” answered his friend, “30 shil Mngs down and your entire salary each week for the rest of your life!”—Lon- don Telegraph. Where Time Doesn’t Count. A party of East Indian natives were found sitting in a row on the plat- form of a station after the train had left, and, being asked the reason, one of the men replied, “Oh, sahib, we are waiting till the tickets are cheaper.” G /Friction Matches. Friction matches are a comparative- ly modern invention. They were first’ made by John Walker in England in 1827, but were rather crude affaiys. He improved them somewhat in 1833 by using phosphorus. The first really practical friction. match was made in the United. States in 1836 by L. C. Al- len of Springfield, Mass. Before this time a clumsy form of match was im- ported from France, which had to be How They Fight Fire In Turk9y. dipped into a bottle of sulphuric acid | This is the method of fighting fire in before it could be lighted. This took a | Turkey. In the center of Constanti- great deal of time and trouble, and |pople a high watchtower has been Allen, seeing the necessity for friction | epacted. When the man in the tewer matches, set about to make them and | gees a blaze the alarm is sounded and ‘ succeeded. He neglected to patent | the firemen ure calied to their posts. @ them. however, and on finally apply- | 1f they have horses they proceed very ing for letters patent found that a |jefsurely to hitch them to the engines man named Alonzo Phillips, who was | o1 carts and trot to the fire, but in a peddler, had discovered through a | most cases they have no horses, and third person the secret of making the | ¢he men drag the engines through the matches and had already obtained A |gtreets at a walk. They do not hurzy patent. Thus Allen, though the real | ¢ attach the hose to the hydrant. Ehe Inventor. was forced to become a mere | oapntain first finds the owner of the i manufacturer under another man’s pat- | yyjiding that is in danger of destrac- ent.—Cincinnati Commercial Tribune. tion and finds’out how much he will pay to have the fire put out. ¥ the P blaze is beyond control the captain ap- proaches the owners of surrounding his men to arms, pursued the rovers, overfook them in'a creek still known as the Port of the Damsels and brought ¢ the brides back in triumph. In mem- ory of this event a solemn processien of twelve young women took place yearly, and the Marian games were ob- served with great splendor. until the vear 1379, when they were discontin- ued in a time of disastrous war. A SR o The Kidnaped Brides. In the year 902, according to old cus- tom, all the brides for the year at property and bargains with them for Venice assembled on St. Mary’s eve at | thejr protection, and of course tkey - the cathedral. taking with them their pay him liberally.—New York Post. dowries in small chests. There they awaited their bridegrooms. who fol- lowed them, and after mass they were married and received the bishop's blessing. In this year the sea rovers of Triest burst in upon the expectant maidens, who were all dressed in white, with hair loosely flowing and interwoven with threads of gold, car- ried them off to their barks and hoisted sail. The doge of Venice summoned Matter of Intelligence. Mrs. Suburbs—John, did you call at the intelligence office today to inquire about a maid of all work? Suburbs— Yes, my dear. Mrs. Suburbs—Couidn’t you find one? Suburbs—Oh, yes; 1 found a dozen. but they were ait too intelligent to come out to this place— Chicago News. = COMING Prentices Vaudeville Company 2 AT NYE HALL NYMORE One Week Commencing Thurs. Dec. DERN |ODEL f ORAL w The Funny Comedian The Laughable Farce The Clever Magicians Wonderful Musicians .- - Fun Without. Vulgarity MANAGERS Nofte : | fake pleasure in presenting this company of arisits in your Gity as | know it will meet with the approval of you and your family, - At no time, at any place, wil -* there he any vulgar language obscene act or immoral act ¥ be permitted by a member of my company, | know from years . of experience in the show business what the public wants, and | am bringing a company of that kind to furnish you a model modern moral entertainment, at an extremely low price of admission. Your patronage is respectfully solicit- ed and will be appreciated by the publics obident ammuse- ment servent. - Dr. J. M. PRENTICE ADMISSION FIRST NIGHT ONLY S CENTS TO ALL AFTER FIRSTNIGHT 15 CENTS