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RAILROAD TIME GARDS | Great Northern No. 33 West Bound Leaves at 3:30 p. m No. 34 East Bound Leaves at 12:08 p. m No. 35 West Bound Leaves at 3:42 a. m No. 36 East Bound Leaves at 1:20 a. m No. 105 North Bound Arrivesat 7:40 p.m No. 106 South BoundLeaves at 7:00 a, m Freight West Bound Leaves at 9:00 a. m Freight East Bound Leaves at 3:30 p. m Minnesota & International No. 32 South Bound Leaves at 8:15 a. m No. 31 North Bound Leaves at 6:10 p. m ‘No. 34 South Bound Leaves at 11:35 p.m No. 33 North Bound Leaves at 4:20 a. m Freight South BoundLeaves at 7:30 a. m Freight North Bound Leaves at 6:00 a. m ‘Minn. Red Lake & Man. No. 1 North Bound-Leaves at 3:35 p. m No 2 South Bound Arrives at 10:30 la. m PROFESSIONAL CARDS ARTS HARRY MASTEN {Piano Tuner ormerly of Radenbush & Co. of St. Paul Instructor of Violn, Piano, Mando- lin and Brass Instruments. Music furnished for balls, hotels. weddings, banquets, and all occasions. Terms reasvnable. All music up to date. Phone N. W. 535, or call at 213 Third Street, upstairs. HARRY MASTEN, Piano Tuner LENN H. SLOSSON ' PIANO TUNING Graduate of the Boston School of Piano Tuning, Boston, Mass. Leave orders at the Bemidji Music House, 117 Third St. Phone: 19-2.!&Residence Phone 174-2. e RS. TOM SMART - DRESS MAKING PARLORS' cOrders taken for Nu Bone corsets, made to rder, also tallor made suits, coats, etc. PHYSICIANS AND SURGEONS R. ROWLAND GILMORE PHYSICIAN AND SURGEON Office—Miles Block R. E. A. SHANNON, M. D. PHYSICIAN AND SURGEON Office in Mayo Block Phone 396 Res. Phone 397 R. C. R. SANBORN PHYSICIAN AND SURGEON Office—Miles Block A. WARD, M. D. ® Over First National Bank. Phone 51 House No. 607 Lake Blvd. Phone 351 R. A. E. HENDERSON PHYSICIAN AND SURGEON Over First National Bank, Bemidji, Minn. Office Phone 36. Residence Pone 72. R. E. H. SMITH PHYSICIAN AND SURGEON Office in Winter Block R. E. H. MARCUM PHYSICIAN AND SURGEON Office in Mayo Block Phone 18 Residence Phone 211 JINER W. JOHNSON PHYSICIAN AND SURGEON Residence 1113 Bemidji Ave. Phone 435 Offices over Security Bank. Phone 130 DENTISTS R. D. L. STAN1UN DENTIST Office in Winter Bleck DR. J. T. TUOMY DENTIST 1st National Bank Build’g. Telephone 230 R. G. M. PALMER DENTIST Miles Block EveninglWork by Appointment Only LAWYERS GRAHAM M. TORRANCE LAWYER Telephone 560 FRANK A. JACKSON LAWYER Bemidji, Minnesota E. McDONALD . o ATTORNEY AT LAW Office—Swedback Block, Bemidji, Minn. H. FISK . ATTORNEY AT LAW Office over City Drug Store Miles Block T e e e e e e The Unhumbled Valet. The Duke of Cambridge was once about to visit Lord Stratford. whe had” been appointed ambassador to Turkey At an early hour on the morning of his expected arrival the ambassador went, in slippers and dressing gown, to see if the rooms were in perfect or- der. He found that the duke's valet had arrived and was arranging his master’s trunks and portmanteaus. Btratford gave some directions how they should be placed. The man left off working and stared at the intruder “1 tell you what it is,” he said. *1 know how his royal highness likes to have his things arranged better than you do. So you just be off. will you. old fellow?" Lord Stratford left in a towering passion. Calling one of his attaches, he ordered him to go in and tell the man whom he had addressed in such language. The attache returned with twinkling eyes. i “What did you say?" asked the am- bassador. “I said to him, my lord. that the per- son he had ventured to address such language to was her majesty’s repre- sentative to Turkey.” 1 “Ah, quite right. And his answer?" “He answered, my lord. that he never said you wasn’t.”—*“With Lord Stratford In the Crimean War.” Wise Men of Gotham. A “wise man of Gotham™ is a fool, but the phrase arose through the real wisdom of the people that lived in the English town of Gotham. The story goes that King John of England once visited the town with the intention of seeing a castle that he thought of tak- ing for himself. But the Gothamites did not care for the nearness of roy- alty and the expense they would be put to if the king should have a house there, and so they cooked up a scheme to drive him away. When the king ar- rived with his company of followers and rode through the town he saw all the inhabitants of Gotham going through the most foolish of tasks, each person with a silly smile on his face. The king was disgusted with them. He would not live among crazy people, and so he rode on through the town and did not stop for the castle. Then the wise men of Gotham, still smiling. but not in a silly fashion. told one an- other that there were more fools that passed through Gotham than remain in it. Not What He Seemed. Lieutenant General J. M. Grierson tells an amusing story of some maneu- vers in which he took part. Only a small body of troops were being ac- tually employed. and “skeleton forces™ were the rule—in other words, small bodies of men represented whole divi- sions. General Grierson with his staff was riding along a lane when he sud- denly came upon one of the enemy’s pickets sitting calmly by the roadside. Quickly the general rode up to him and said: “You are my prisoner; you had better surrender.” The man grinned and pointed to a flag beside him. “Beg pardon, sir,” he said. “but I am a brigade of infantry. so you are all my prisoners.”—London Mail. Christians In Old Rome. Religious persecution as such was unknown under the Romans. The Christians were regarded as seditious. In denying the divinity of the Cae- sars and the Roman gods they were guilty of high treason in Roman eyes and were accordingly punished.- But their punishment had no religious sig- nificance whatever. The Christians ‘were persecuted not because they were Christians. but because, in the opinion . of the authorities, they were disturb- ers of the peace and safety of the state. Religious persecution was a thought that never entered the Roman mind.—New York American. Wounds of the Heart. In wounds of the heart itself the es- cape of blood is never in large quanti- ty. and the lethal comsequences are due to the fact that the escape of blood from within its cavity or cavities into the surrounding sac of the peri- cardium mechanically interrupts the alternate contraction and expansion by which its pumping action is maintain- ed. Accordingly the results of the wound of the heart are usually identi- cal with those of gradual suffocation. Cutting. A Scotch lawyer was well reproved when, seated by a lady fully aware of her own plain ‘looks, having bowed to his hostess in giving the toast, “Hon- “est Men and Bonnie Lasses,” she re- joined, raising her own glass, “We may both drink that toast, since it re- fers to neither of us.” Similar Tastes. Belle—But do you think you and he are suited to each other? Nell-Oh. perfectly! Our tastes are quite simi- lar. I don’t care very much for him, and he doesn’t care very much for me. —Paris Figaro. Willing to Pass. “How do you like the new oatmeal 80ap?” inquired the barber. “Seems nourishing,” replied the cus- tomer, “but I've had my breakfast.”— ‘Washington Herald. The Long Arm. Jenny—I consider the fellow was quite impudent. He put his arm round me twice. Rose—Did he? What a long arm he must have! ‘We should not be too niggardly in our praise, for men will do moreto support a character than to raise one. —Colton. Pleasing the Sultan. Kaid Belton told the following story, which illustrates exactly the attitude of the sultan of Moroeco toward the French: Oune day the sultan asked a lady, the wife of his dentist, to play one of the pianos that were in the room of the palace. She played several pieces, one of them at length catching the sultan's fancy. whereupon the following little dialogue took place: Sultan — That piece is very nice. ‘What is it called? Dentist—It is the “March on Cadiz.” It was written to commemorate the Spaniards driving the French out of Spain, Sultan—What! Spain? Dentist—Yes. Sultan—How many of them? Dentist—About 200.000. Sultan (in a surprised tone)—And the Spaniards drove them out? Dentist—Yes, every one of them, There was a slight pause while the sultan was thinking hard, and then: Sultan (quietly)—Play it again. Were the French in His Interference. The twists and turns taken by fak- ing horse dealers to get out of their bad bargains are proverbial. A little incident fillustrative of the tribe took place recently at a stable on North Broad street. where an irresponsible settler had succeeded in palming off a defective horse on a too easy buyer. The new owner turned up with the horse a few days after the purchusel and angrily exclaimed. “Didn’t you say this horse was perfectly safe and wouldn’t trouble anybody?’ The deal- er coolly asked. “What’s the matter with the horse?” The dupe replied: “You know well enough. He inter- feres badly.”* With a curt “Well, he doesn't interfere with anybody but himself, does he?’ the fake dealer brushed the matter aside, and the pur- chaser found himself withoit a reme- dy.—Philadelphia Record. A Great Military Feat. Nonza, in Corsica, is very prond of the story of a great military feat per- formed there long ago. It is told in “Romantic Corsica.”” by George Ren- wick. The French in 1768 had subjugated all the northern cape with the excep- tion of the tower of Nonza. which for a considerable time sustained a close siege. A king parties were driven back by a fierce fire. but at last the| garrison agreed to surrender if allow- ed to march out with all the honors of war. This was conceded. and old Captain Cascella appeared. staggering under a load of muskets and pistols. “Why is the garrison so long in com- ing out?' asked the French com- mander. “It is here, sir, am the garrison.” replied Cascella. *1 Glass Solvent. Hydrofluoric acid is an acid com-| pound of hydrogen and fluorine. It may be prepared by the action of sul-; phuri¢ acid upon eryolite in an ap-¢ propriate apparatus made of lead or| platinum. It may thus be readily ob- tained in a liquid form and is color- less. Its vapors are exceedingly poi- sonous, and the liguid itself. even when mixed with more or less water. causes severe swellings on the skin. Great care must therefore be taken 1 working with this acid. Iydrofluoric acid dissolves glass. forming hydro- fluosilicic acid with its silica: hence its use for making etchings on glass.— Exchange. They Come Later. The Young Wife (showing her furni- ture)—Ilere's the rocking chair for the parlor. Isn’t it just lovely? Mrs. Old- i ley (rather critically)—But I don't see any rockers, dear. Tke Young Wife— Oh. they'll be here next month. You see, we are buying the chair on the installment plan, and we have paid for the rockers yet.—Chicago News. Well Settled. Riggs—Did your wife’s father settle anything on you when you married his daughter? Briggs—You bet he did. He settled himself on us, and we can't get rid of him.—Boston Transeript. ARMORY OPERA HOUSE, ONE NIGHT ONLY [0t SRR Somee e He Came Down Light. A Chicago board of trade man who was not in the habit of attending church was taking a walk one Sunday morning. and on coming to a church at the regular hour of service he de- cided to go in. As he entered the au- ditorium in which the pews were ad- ! Jjusted upon a sloping floor an usher stepped forward and, wishing to con- sult him as to location before con- ducting him to a sitting, politely in- quired: *Would you like to come down pret- ty well?” Mistaking the inquiry to be an ap- peal for money, the board of trade man began to fumble through his pockets, as he drawled: “I'd like to. but I'm not prepared to come down very heavy, as 15 cents is all 1 bave with me.”—Harper's Mag- azine. A Varnighing Tip. When varnishing wood the work must be done in a warm room at a temperature of at least 75 degrees F. At a lower temperature the moisture in the air will give a milky and cloudy appearance to the varnish. On the other hand. at the higher temperature the moisture is not precipitated unril the alcohol of the varnish has suffi- ciently evaporated to leave a thin smooth film of shellac. The durabil- ity and gloss are dependent on this. The Blind Man’s Lantern. A blind man in Khoota (a Caucasian village) came back from the river one night bringing a pitcher of water aund ; carrying in his hand a lighted lantern, Some one meeting him said: “You're blind. It's all the same to you whether it's day or night. Of what use to you is a lantern?” 1 don't carry the lan: tern in order to see the road,” replied the blind man. “but to keep some tool like you from running against me and breaking my pitcher.” His Peers. “Pa. what does it mean to be tried by a jury of oue's peers?” *“It means. my son, that a man is to | be tried by a jury composed of men who are his equals or on an equality with him, so that they will have no| prejudice against him." *“Then, pa, I s’pose you'd have to be tried by a jury of baldheaded men.” The Widow. “In a town." said a life insurance official. rare thing a schoolteacher said to a little boy pupil: * *‘Tommy, define the word widow.' “*A widow." Tommy answered, ‘is a poor woman with a large family of children wheo takes boarders.'” Painfully Frank. Wedderly—They say that a man and his wife grow to look alike after they have been married a few years. Now. my wife and I have been married ten years. Do you think we look alike? Singleton—Yes. indeed. You both seem to have the same sad expres sion. Might Have Been Worse. Rheumatic Patient—Oh, doctor, I do suffer so with my bands and feet! Cheery Doctor—My dear woman, only think what inconvenience you would have to suffer without them. The Earth. Tommy — Pop. does the earth go‘ round? Tommy's Pop—Yes, my son. But it wouldn't if it was divided among all the people who want it.— Philadelphia Record. No man has yet discovered the means of giving successfully friendly advice to women—not even to his own. —Balzac. The Remains. After many unsuccessful attempts a little girl managed to spell “that” cor- rectly. “Now,” said her mother, “what remains after ‘t’ is taken away?”’ “The dirty cups and saucers!” was the reply. —_— Another Shock. Bore—I've bad ap awful shock. 1 went for a long walk on Sunday morn- ing with another man. and he commit- ted suicide on Sunday evening. Bored ! (surprised)—Not until evening? “where life insurance was a | JUDGE C. W. STANTON Non-Partisan Candidate for Judge of Fifteenth Judicial District BLACKSMITH Horse Shoeing and Plow Work a Specialy All the work done here is done with a Guarantee. Prompt Service and First Class Workmanship. fourt ST. INEW BUILDING seMindi, MInN. WILLIAM BEGSLEY Would You LIKE TO LOOK AT OUR M’KIBBIN Hats & Gaps? Most Men Do adson-Odegard & Co. ‘ One-Price Clothiers Monday October, 31st. The Greatest American Play Ever Written “PAID IN FULL” BY EUGENE WALTERS 2 Years in New York, 6 Months in Chicago, Complete Equipment, Special Scenery, Metropolitan Company. A Strictly Guaranteed Attraction Prices, $1.50, $1,75c and 50c. e i l | I { I