Bemidji Daily Pioneer Newspaper, June 23, 1909, Page 2

e THE BEMIDJI DAILY. PIONEER PUBLISHED NVERY AFPFNRNOON, BEMIDII PIONEER PUBLISHING CO. C. J. PRYOR. @, E. CARSON. A. @. RUTLEDGE, News Editor. Tntered in the postofice at Bemidjl. Minn., second class matter. SUBSCRIPTION---$5.00 PER ANNUM A. M. Welles, who recently leased his Sauk Center Herald, visited at Walker and Bemidji recently, and apparently enjoyed the “fanning bee” which he had with the brethren whom he met in these places. In the last issue of the Herald, Mr. Welles saysof his stay in these parts: “A recent trip up into Cass and Beltrami counties brought with it the conviction that an outing, brief though it may be, in that country of pines and beautiful lakes, is just the thing needed to banish the effects of editorial brain fog. A dose of Walker and Bemidji, with Dare. Pryor and ‘Doc’ Rutledge for trimmings, will make any worn out scribbler fairly leap for joy.” “Governor Johnson will not be a candidate for a fourth term. We know this because he has said so. To be sure, he said he would not be a candidate last year, but—Oh, what’s the use!”—Hinckley Enter- prise. And Frank A. Day, Governor John’s private secretary and chief factotem of the “‘dem” party in the state, asserted yesterday that he had purchased a farm in Texas and would soon leave Minnesota forever. There be those who wish the genial democratic chairman was in a hotter place eventhan Texas. The declared departure of Day and the governor’s declaration of not being a guber- natorial candidate are about on par—the people will know more about both after the democratic - state convention is held next year. ‘The Laporte News mentions E. R. Dampier as acceptable timber for state senator ‘in the Fitty-third Senatorial district, to succeed John- ston of Bertha, the present incum- bent, as follows: “The name of E. R. Dampier, our efficient county attorney, is being prominently mentioned asa winner in the next senatorial race. Mr. Dampier and the writer are not “bossom friends,” but his record as county attorney is one that his friends may point to with pride— that, together with his pleasing per- sonality—would make anyopposition sit up and take notice, provided, Mr. Dampier decides to enter the race.” While the Pioneer is not printed in the Fifty-third district, we do not want to be called a “butt-in” if we mention the fact that, in our opinion, E. R. Dampier would make a splendid member of the upper house of the state legislature. He is aggressive, clean, broad-minded and as a fighter has few equals, while as a public speaker he ranks very high. Here’s to “Senator Dampier.” Sitting Bull. To look at Sitting Bull one would say that he was always qulet and self con- tained. In fact, he did usually keep himself under control, but he was cruel and almost heartless. He had prac- ticed cruelty to animals and men from his childhood and as long as he lived; he was full of passion and often very angry. He was always imperious and insolent toward our generals, the In- dian agent and other friends of the great father at Washington, whom he claimed to hate. He had great talent and ability to plan campaigns and bat- tles and wonderful influence in bring- ing Indians together. Notwithstand- Ing all this, he was afraid of death, and, though he planned the greatest victory which the Indians ever gained over white men, Sitting Bull himself was a coward and disgraced himself even before his own people by running away in the very face of success.— General Howard in St. Nicholas. ‘Would Not Pay Charges, He was an impecunious nobleman with air castles in sunny France. Aft- er much deliberatlon he sent the fol- lowing note to the pretty helress: Dear Miss—I love you, but do not know how to express myself. How would you advise? COUNT DE BUST. And the heiress penned the follow- ing: Dear Count—Express yourself any way you wish except C. O. D., as you are not worth the charges. —Chicago News. More Worry. “It used to be my ambition,” said the business man, “to accumulate a fim tune and then retire” “Well,” answered the friend, “haven’t you realized it?” “No. I've got the money, but I don’t dare retire. TI've got to stay awake night and day to keep somebody from taking it-away from me” Over and Under. “Archie is fairly going crazy over his new motor.” “That's strange. Every time I've seen him he has been.going crazy un- der it.” The trouble with many a man’s in- tegrity 18 that it needs constant vindi cation.—Chicago News. Newton's Light Theory. Sir Isnac Newton earned worldwide fame by showing that gravitation, pre- viously recognized only at the surface of the earth, 1s operative throughout the universe wherever there is matter. In another field of physics he was far less happy. His brilliant success in experimental optics came to be quali- fled, though not Invalidated, by a faulty interpretation of the facts. He gave his name and powerful authority to the corpuscular theory of light. In Sir Isaac’s view, the phenomenon of luminosity is produced by corpuscles— exceedingly minute particles of matter —which are projected continuously from the sun, stars and all other lumi. nous bodies. But his corpuscles failed to elucidate all the appearances, and Sir Isaac’s theory was finally deposed by an explanation which referred light to undulatory vibrations in the ether. It would be zome comfort for the dis- coverer of universal gravitation, were he llving now, to realize that the mod- ern physicist is daily dealing with cor- puscles flung off from matter at speeds fairly comparable with that of life it~ self. Couldn't Help It. A young lady tells the following story of an Englishman she met dur- ing a trip to Mexico: The Englishman became acquainted with the American party while they were all guests at a winter hotel. ‘Whenever the parents of the American girl proposed any trip the Englishman immediately begged to be made one of the party. He was to be included in a moonlight trip to a nearby moun- tain, After the Americans were ready to start they had to delay some fifteen minutes awaiting their guest’s ar- tival. When he did arrive he elec- trified them by his comments on the reason for hig delay. What he said was: “I beg pardon for my beastly tardi- ness. Couldn’t help it, don’cherknow. I had to bring my mother from the gardens first. It’s a singular horrid bore, but one has to be kind to his mother, don'cherknow!” — Milwaukes Free Press. The Queer Screw Plant. There is nothing under the sun quite 80 quaint, so weird and witchlike as the pandanus prairies of Fiji. The pan- danus, or screw plant, as it s called, is a most grotesque specimen of the veg- etable kingdom even at the best and in the early stages of its growth. In its very young days it is of an extraordi- narily screwlike shape and looks as though some unkind hand had taken hold of its long, swordlike leaves and twisted them round and round. Later on it straightens out a bit, and from it grow a number of tall wooden stilts. Its foliage 1s simple, a number of drooping, ragged tufts, for all the world like mops and very mournful looking. Among these mops hangs the fruit, in shape like a pineapple, made up of hard red and yellow kernels, ‘woody and fibrous and quite uneatable from a European’s point of view. His Status. The caste system is so deeply rooted among the people of India that Chris- tianized Hindoos are still under its po- tent Influence. For example, Mr. J. C. Oman, formerly professor of natural sclence in the government college at Lahore, tells in his book, “The Brah- mans, Deists aud Muslims of India,” of the native Christian head master of a mission school who was asked in a court of justice what his religion waa. “Brahman-Christian,” he replied. The judge, who wasg a European, not recoguizing such a sect, asked for more Information. “I am a Brahman-Christian,” reiter- ated the head master. “I cannot call myself simply a Christian,” he contin- ued with some warmth, “when that Choorah (sweeper) there is also a Christian. I am a Brahman-Christlan, sir.” Friday and Fortunes. Two women who wished to make an appointment with a fortune teller who was pronounced “just splendid” by everybody who had patronized her were advised by the seer to come on Friday. “That Is, if you are not superstitious about Friday,” she said. “Most people are. They regard I'riday as such an unlucky day that they won’t even have their fortune told them for fear they will hear something unlucky. That is why 1 advised you to come on that day. 1 will have plenty of time and worn’t have to put your cases ‘throngh with such a rush””—St. Louis Repub- lie. An Equinox. Tommy—Pa, what is an equinox? Pa—Why—er—it is—ahem! For good-| ness sake, Tommy, don’t you know anything about mythology at all? An equinox was a fabled animal, half horse, half cow. Its name is derived from the words ‘equine’ and ‘ox.’ It does seem as if these public schools don’t teach children anything now- adays!” Naturalized. An Italian went to the clvil service commissioners’ rooms to be examined for a laborer’s position. He answered most of the questions correctly. Final- ly they asked him If he had ever been naturalized. He seemed a bit puzzled, but at last his face lighted up. “Ah, I know whata you mean. Scratcha de arm. Yes, lasta week.” Then He Stole. Prudent Swain—If I were to steal a kiss, would it scare you so that you would scream? Timid Maiden—1X couldn’t, Fright always makes me dumb. 1 bave never known a man of real ability to be ungrateful.—Goethe. Distllled water after having been exposed to the air 1s one of the most salubrious: of drinks. Its daily use in measured quantities :is helpful in cases of dyspepsia and greatly assists the general functions of the body. Bv- ery large steamer carries a water als- tilling - apparatys by which sea water |- 15 made fresh. “In the days before steamers primitive distilling apparatus mudonwmpmmuucu» rying passengers. Great men have been guilty of pun- ning, and some of the most famous of 0 these sallles have come down in his- | definition of the word *wife.” tory. There is something melancholy about the pun of Dr. Thomas Browne, who, having unsuccessfully courted a {other. lady and being challenged to drink to| “A.comforter,” gaid a third. her health, as had been his wont, re- plied, “I have toasted her many years, but I cannot make her Browne, so I will toas Sydney Smith’s jest at the expense of Mrs. Grote had the salt of malice in it. She was famed for ill taste in dress, and as one day she swept by |laughing. “Good! That is the best in an extraordinary headdress Smith pointed her out to a friend, saying, “That i3 the origin of the word ‘gro- 0 tesque. Mrs. Grote, however, venge. Sydney Smith’s daughter mar- ried a Dr. Holland. When the latter Some Famous Sallies. t her no longer.” 9 il They're All Like This. 'was knighted some one mentioned his | nearly every night?” wife as Lady Holland. Lord Holland’s wife?” asked the lis- tener. “No,” replied Mrs. Grote. Holland, whose capital is Sydney.” ‘When the barrister Campbell mar- ried Miss Scarlett his friend explained his absence from court by telling the judge that Campbell was suffering from a bad attack of Scarlett fever. Bread That Intoxicates. In far eastern Russia, in that region which lies between the sea and the river called Mssuri, the humidity of the climate as well as of the sofl Is re- e. Vegetation is ‘here distin- guished for its wondrous exuberance, to such an extent that the soll never dries up. The result is that the inhab- itants in order to prevent putrefaction of the roots sow their corn upon a se- ries of layers of the sofl. Nevertheless in certain districts the humidity is so intense that there grows upon the ears of corn a kind of fungous matter made up of micro fungl. As a result of this sporadie excrescence the bread made from the corn in question gives all the results of an overdose of alcohol. In very humid climates the phenomenon is likewise known, though to nothing markable Ancient Chains. “Some authorities,” says an English writer, “give the Britons credit for originating the cable chain because Julius Caesar is recorded as having been unable to cut the cables of the Gaul's vessels, ‘as they were made of iron’ This may have been a chain in the present acceptation of the term, but it is doubtful, because the first pat- ent for chainmaking was obtained in England in 1634 by a blacksmith named Philip White. for fourteen years, and in considera- tion of it White had to pay £5 in law- ful money yearly ‘at the exchequer, ‘Westminster, att the Feast of the Blessed Virgyn and Saint Michell the Archangell by even and eual process.” “His patent s described as follows: ‘A way for the wearing of shipps with fron chaynes by finding out the true heating (pre)pareing and tempering of Iyron for that (pur)pose and that he hath nowe attayned to the true vse of the said chaynes and that the sdme wilbe for the great savelng of cordage and safety of shippers and will re- dound to good of our Comon Wealth.’” “This new The patent was “Do you mean| “Yes,” said the teacher. “Well, then, If my definition of a | 800d as yellow ones, for they contain wife was true at a considerable distance. and Stable, Deceivers. teeth out 'fore you know it!” nail tongs. wink.” disgusted reply. like the extent of eastern Siberia, i Sharks snd Divers. bread.” where whole districts are affected by this strange kind of Shakespeare’s Name. It has'often been a puzzle to students of Shakespeare why his name is spelled in so many different ways. speare himself is said to have signed his name on different occasions “Shak- speare” and “Shakespere,” and learned disquisitions have been written to prove which is the proper spelling. None perhaps was more amusing than the “weather” reason given in 1851 by | Will make off In abject terror. Albert Smith, who averred that he had found it in the Harlelan manuscript.| —St. Nicholas. It was as follows: How dyd Shakspeare spell hys name? A Mixup. Ye weatherre mayde ye change, we saye, So write it as ye please; ‘When ve sonne shone he mayde hys A; ‘When wette he took hys Ees. Installments All Around. Patient (gloomily)—I don’t seem to be gaining very fast, doctor. Doctor (cheerfully)—You can’t expect| *’Bout a year, guv’'nor.” to get well at one jump. You will have| “Ever make mistakes?” to regain your health gradually day by| “Bless yer, no, guv'nor!” day—sort of on the installment plan, as 1t were. Patient (brightening up)—Well, doc- tor, if this thing keeps on much longer I'm afraid that you will have to collect “alcoholized and descended to the basement. “Been long in the trade?” your bill in the same way.—Judge’s| London Answers. Library. Library. “Now, Why They Objected. * “No,” said the fireman, who repre- sented the truck company that had re- fused to work with a colored truck- man, “there is no race prejudice in it. But we certainly hate to work with a| her for her twin sister, who so re- man whose face will look just as clean on the way home from a long fire fight as it did when we started, while we other chaps all look smudgy.”—Judge’s Not a New Species. what shall we name the baby?” inquired the professor’s wife. “Why, this species has ‘been named,” answered the professor In astonish- The Wrong. Girl. used. Overlooked. some reason or other, John.” “Yes, and you have reason ment. “This is a primate mammal | ferves me right” homo sapiens.”—St. Paul Ploneer Press. The three great problems on the solu- Unsolved Problems. distrust.” tion of which humanity is bent are the | You?"—Houston Post. same that perplexed our ancestors—the immortality of the soul, perpetual mo- Explosive. tion and women’s hats.—Paris Figaro. Client—How Is my case coming on? The Real Work. Surely you've had time to look up the| tribute a flery article.” law? Attorney—Oh, that was easy. I've been putting in my time studylng the technicalities.—San Francisco Call. “What on earth possessed you to be- come engaged to Herbert?” a young lady asked her friend. “You don’t love Ample Cause. him an atom!” “I know,” that horrid Jones girl does!” Poor Angel. was the candid reply, “but Needed a Big Dose. “I wonder,” said the sweet young ney said to hér: thing, “why a man is always so fright- ened when he proposes?” “That,” said the chronic bachelor, “Is his guardian angel trying to hold him bach _od, ‘was a big eatee’ " A."yolmg and pretty schoolteacher once asked her class for an original “A wife is a rib,” said one little girl. ° “Wives are guiding stars,” said an- “An inspiration,” said a fourth. Altogether the definitions were rath- er prosy and commonplace, but finally & child of eleven, smiling archly, said: “A wife is a person for a man to find fault with when things go wrong.” “Good!” cried the pretty teacher, definition of all, the best, the truest!” But that afternoon on the way home from school the little girl whose defi- nition had so pleased tripped demurely had her re-|mp to the teacher and said: “Are you going to marry that tall, handsome young man I see you with | IS refuse, and the remainder, the great- The Horse's Power of Smell. The horse will leave musty hay un- touched in his bin, however hungry. = % He will not drink of water objection- hens’, turkeys’ and plovers’. Eggs con- able to his questioning sniff or from a bucket which some odor makes offen- sive, however thirsty. His intelligent nostril will widen, quiver and . query over the daintiest bit offered by the falrest of hands, with coaxings that ‘would make a mortal shut his eyes and swallow a nauseous mouthful at a gulp. A mare Is never satisfied by i‘,flfy’ o hat hor oolt 5 | minutes no less than one-twelfth of nasal certificate to the fact. A blind horse, now living, will not allow the approach of any stranger without showing signs of anger not safely to be disregarded. The distinction is evl- dently made by his sense of smell and Blind horses, as a rule, will gallop wildly about a pasture without striking the surrounding fence. The sense of smell informs them of its proximltyfi—Hom There is an old fellow who lives in a “dry” New England town who has a very poor opinion of New .York, to which metropolis he recently made a visit. It may be remarked in passing that the old gentleman is one of the pillars of the church in his native vil- lage. Upon his return home he sat for some time upon a sugar barrel at the grocery and then suddenly burst out: “Them fellers down to New York is as bad as thieves! Cheat your eye- “Gosh, Hiram! You don’t mean to say you got bunkoed at your age?” the storekeeper demanded, dropping the “Yes, I did, too!” was the angry re- ply. “I went to a sody water fountain an’ asked the feller for his best sar- syprilla, an' T give him the regular “Well?” the storekeeper demanded. “Well, by heck, I got it!” was the Contrary to what is generally sup- posed, the fully equipped modern diver does not dread sharks In the depths, though there are cases on record where these monsters have bitten sav- agely at the alr pipe, causing a serlous | jeans that once the fever accompany- leak and almost drowning the man be- Shake- | fore he could be hauled up. Sharks | them it is necessarily fatal, and be- are, however, notoriously timid, and | cauge of this all medicine and 2il phy- all the experienced diver has to do to frighten them away is to open one of the air valves in his dress and cause a stream of bubbles to rise up all around him, whereupon the “tiger of the deep” A far| the fever who otherwise might have more real danger is gemng entangled. The householder smothered his wrath | York Herald. “Are you the plumber?” he asked of The Only Explanation. the grimy looking individual who was | Ol Mrs. Smith was a chronic com- tinkering with the pipes in the cellar. “Yes, guv'nor,” answered the man. “Oh, then, I suppose it's all right! I imagined you had connected up the ‘wrong pipes, for the chandelier in the drawing room is spraying like a foun- tain, and the bathroom tap’s on fire!”— After a whole year of married bliss a young man named Hahn, living at Volosca, Dalmatia, discovered that he had not married the girl he intended. ‘When he proposed to her he mistook sembles her that they can scarcely be distinguished, and he did not realize his error until he began calling her by her Christian name instead of by the terms of endearment he had hitherto “I always distrust your judgment for | he's dead, and she’s got the money. to. “Why, T cannot remember you ever having done anything to justify such a “Have you forgotten that I married An ambitious young writer having asked, “What magazine will give me the highest position quickest?” was told, “A powder magazine, if you con- There is no frigate lke a book ta take us leagues away.—Dickinson. The president of the Waiters® club of | of seedlessness.—Vegetarian. New York in a recent argument on tip- ping said to his opponent sharply: g “Your reply is altogether beside the | Condemned Man (to his'lawyer)—It's point and frrelevant. It reminds me of | a long sentence, sir, to be sent to pris- 8 woman’s reply in a German court. | on for life. Lawyer (Inclined to a more This woman was accused of poisoning | hopeful view)—Yes, it does seem long, her husband. The prosecuting attor- | but perhaps yow won't live a great % ¢You have heard the evidence. The - body contained enough arsenic to kill Of Good Material. ten persons. What have you to say? “‘My husband,’ the woman answer- | gars? Griggs—First rate. What are It go you needn’t call again.”—Liverpool four complexion as well as your temper is rendered miserable by a disordered liver. By taking Chamber- lain’s Stomach and Liver Tablets you can improve both. They cleanse and in- vigorate the stomach and improve the digestion. For Sale at BARKER'S DRUG STORE About Eggs. In a hen’s egg only one-fifth of the substance s nutritious, one-ninth part er portion, is water. ‘White shelled eggs are not quite as a trifle more water and a little less fat. “Ah, but, dear, with us nothing will { But your purveyor knows this and fre- ever go wrong. He says 8o himself.” quently colors his white eggs with cof- fee. = Judged by the amount of nutriment, & goose’s egg is the most valuable. Next in order are ducks’, guinea fowls’, tain.a large quantity of sulphur; which is purifying to the blood and good for the complexion. To get the best egg you must feed your fowl on grain, and to cook it in the most digestible way you must not boil the water. Heat the water to 180 degtees and leave the egg in it for ten minutes. *You will then digest every morsel. But if you boil it for three it will fail to be digested. Thus if you eat two eggs boiled for three minutes every day you waste five dozen in a year—London Mail. The Leopard and the Pan. One day a worthy Kulu housewife came out from her cooking and, stand- ing on the ledge of rock at her door, emptied a pan of bolling water into the Do Not Neglect Your Eyes If they are not correct in every way have the matter attended to while it’s young. Itis the most satisfactory, it is the cheapest and it is absolutely the safest without question DRS.LARSON & LARSON Specialists of the eye and the fitting of glasses Offices over the P. O. hone 92 Let Douglass Lumber Company BEMIDJI, MINNESOTA Furnish you with your Lumber, Lath and Shingles. Have everything in the line of Building Material. Prompt deliveries made to any part of Bemidji or Nymore. Telephone 371 rank herbage growing below. It fell, splash, on the back of a sleeping leop- ard, who jumped perpendicularly into the air as high as the roof of the hut. What might have happened next? Who can say? But the astonished wo- man drupped the pan with a clang up- on the rock, and the leopard took one leap downhill. The pan followed, and the leopard’s downward leaps became longer and swifter as the pan bounded after it from rock to rock. ‘When last seen the leopard had just achieved a leap of about 350 feet to the very bottom of the ravine, thou- sands of feet below, and the pan had ‘whirled about 500 feet over it on the opposite side. The leopard would have eaten the old woman with pleasure, but a pan which first scalded half the bide off him and then bounded clanging {n his wake from the top of the Hima- layas to the plains helow was some- thing which bhe could not face.—Lon- don Chronicle. A Mexican Tradition. “Boys, what's the matter? Fever? Dle, then; die, then.” That’s the song the doves sing down In old Mexico whken a native has penumonia, and dlriost invariably he lies down, refuses to awallow the medicine preseribed by the physician, resigns himself to his fate and in a few weeks he dles. The dove, however, sings the song in Span- ish. It is a tradtlion among the Mex- Listen! NEVER. will there be a more favorable op- portunity to invest in city real estate than the present. Why not call on our local agent, H. A. SIMONS, Postoffice Block, and let him show you some real snaps in-business and residence lots in the city, or at Oak Beach, on the north shore of Beautiful Lake Bemidji. Write or call on us for detailed information re- garding the city as a business, residence or manu- facturing location. Bemidji Townsite. and Im- provement Company. St. Paul Minnesota ing an attack of pneumonia seizes slelans are refused and the Mexican usuglly dies. The dove brings the story of death in its weird cooing, ac- cording to the bellef of the natives, and many who have been seized with recovered have succumbed owing to thelr belief In the tradition. That 18 the reason, it is said, why penumonia is fatal to so many Mexicans.—New plainer and was constantly sending for the family physician and giving him a Ust of her fancied ailments. He al- ways listened quite patiently, but was getting a little tired of hearing the same things over and over. One day when the old lady consid- ered herself in an unusually bad way she gent for the doctor and, after go- Ing over the usual list, ended by say- ing: “Really, doctor, I do not know ¢ in the world is wrong with me. I can neither lay nor set.” The doctor looked at her a moment, then said in a solemn tone, “Madam, you must be a rooster.”—Kansas City Independent. = Lumber and Building Material We carry in stock at all times a com- plete line of lumber and bwlding material of all descriptions. Call in and look over our special line of fancy glass doors. We have a large and well assorted stock from which you can make your selection. WE SELL 16-INCH SLAB WO00D St. Hilaire Retail Lbr. Co. BEMIDJI, MINN. Wanted Something Quicker. Some few years ago I issued a pol- ey on the life of a man who was far from being a model husband. I called for the premium every week and rare- Iy got it without a grumble from the wife. The last time I called she said: “I ain’t going to.pay you any more. There's Mrs. Smith only had her old man in M.s society three months, and I'm going to put my old man in that, Mercury. Flattered Him. “I feel gure Miss Smith is in love with you,” said a lady to her brother. “Do you? It sounds too good to be true.” “Well, I heard her say yesterday that plainness in a man is not really a fault, but a sign of character.” Seedless Fruits. Science so far has .failed to furnish any explanation of the mystery of seedless fruits. They are not the out- come of the work of man. Man per- petuates them. He does no more. The seedless orange was found in a state Comforting. while. THE ACKNOWLEDCED STANDARD OF TODAY Will turn out more neat, perfectly afigned work, with less effort and with less wear on its working parts than any other typewriter made. You can PAY more, but you cannot BUY more . ‘Royal TYpewriter Co. Royal Typewriter Building - New York 412 Second Avenue South Minneapolis, Minn. Briggs—How do you like these ok they made of ?—Life.