Bemidji Daily Pioneer Newspaper, October 29, 1908, Page 5

Official Ballot First, Second, Third, Fourth and Fifth Com- missioner Districts /57 A €. N N General Election, Nov. 3, 1908 the arrow. Put a cross mark (X) opposite the name of each can- didate you wish to vote for in the square indicated by COUNTY BALLOT For Superintendent of Schools—W. B. STEWART— —Republican. For Superintendent of Schools—VERA M. CAMERON— —Democrat. For Superintendent of Schools— Vote for one OFFICIAL BALLOT . Shall the county change from the county system to the township system of caring for the poor? FIRST, SEGOND, THIRD, FOURTH AND FIFTH COMMISSIONER DISTRICTS Weliison, €. : " General Election, Nov. 3, 1908. ~.GOUNTY the poor? YES Shall the county change from the county system of caring for the poor to the township system of caring for BALLOT NO site the word “No.”) resolution: following resolution was adopted: system, | (If you desire to vote for the change of said system put a cross in square opposite the word “Yes.” against the change of said system put a cross in the square oppo- If you desire to. vote (It was decided at a special meeting of the board of county commissioners held on August 1, 1908, to submit this question to the voters, as shown by the following On motion of commissioner Sibley, seconded by commissioner Gunderson the Whereas the county board do now and lxcreby‘ determine and decide that it is T advisable to change from the county system of caring for the poor to the town Now therefore be it resolved that the question of changing from the county system of caring for the poor to the town system of caring for the poor be submit- ted to the voters of the county at the next general election.) T e ———————————————— ¢ He Writ. A well known dramatic critic visiting Btratford on Shakespeare’s birthday and, hearing the clangor of the bells which, from their tower in the old church where the poet lies buried, awoke the little town to its devotions approached a wintry headed street » -Bweeper in front of Irving’s inn and sald: “Who is the fellow they’re mak- ing this fuss about? I see you have Bhakespeare hotels, Shakespeare gin- gerbread, and only the other day I saw a man driving to town some pigs called ‘Shakespeare’s best.” Who is he ~—the fellow who lived in that tumble- down shanty yonder?’ The “oldest in- habitant” megaphoned his ear ang, Wwheezing, replied, “I think he writ.” “Oh, he writ, did he? What did he| write—books, confessions of a deer Btealer, maghzine articles—what?” “I think he writ for the Bible.” £ A Decorated Interior, Mrs. Graham is an estimable lady v =mwhose hobby is house decoration. One day the lady was careless enough to drink a glass of red ink, believing it to be claret. She was a good deal scared when she discovered her mis- ‘take, but no harm came to her. . The doctor who was summoned, apon hearing what had happened, dry- ly remarked to her, “Mrs. Graham, there’s such a thing as pushing this rage for decorated interiors too far.”— Argonaut. : Sympathy. | *What made you kick Jimpson?’ ®He called me an ass.” “Oh, well, kicking is a characteristic of asses, but I shouldn’t think you’d | want to confirm Jimpson’s statement so quickly.”—London Telegraph. i Why It Was There. ‘Aunty—Tommy, I put three pies in Here yesterday, and now there is only one. How is that? Tommy—Please, it was so dark, aunty, I didn't see that ene!—Punch. Proving His Honesty. “You say you have confidence in the plaintiff, Mr. Smith?” “Yes, sir.” “State to the court, if you please, what caused this confidence.” “Why, you see, sir, there’s allers re- ports ’bout eatin’ house men, and I used to think”— “Never mind what you thought. Tell us what you know.” “Well, sir, one day I goes down to Cooken’s shop and sez to the waiter, ‘Waiter,” sez I, ‘give’s a weal pie.’ ‘Well, just then Mr. Cooken comes up, and sez he: ‘How do Mr. Smith? What Ye going to have? ““Weal pie, says I. ‘Good,” says he; ‘I'll have one tu.’ So he sets down an’ eats one of his own weal pies right afore me.” “Did that cause your confidence in him?” “Yes, indeed, sir; when an eatin’ house keeper sets down afore his cus- tomers an’ deliberately eats one of his own weal pies no man can refuse to feel confidence. honest man.”—London Scraps. A Philosopher In a Cyclone. “I believe in optimism,” said the cheerful citizen, “but there is a limit even to that. I saw a man the other day whose house had been carried away by cyclone, and he was the most cheerful citizen in town. ‘Why,’ I said, ‘I thought you had lost your house? ““I did lose it he replied, ‘but thar ‘wus nobody in it but me at the time, an’ thar wuzn’t a hair o’ my head hurt. The cyclone lifted the house high, all but the ground floor where I was sleep- in’ peaceful in my bed, ar’ I hain’t never seen nor hearn o' that house sence! Ar’, anyhow, I didn’t have any fire insurance on it an’ wuzn’t able to put up a lightnin’ rod, an’ ef the wind hadn’t took it away who knows but lightnin’ would ’a’ hit it, an’ Ive got the rheumatism so bad I couldn’t run | in case o’ fire’ "—Atlanta Constitution. It shows him to be an ; Dream Troubles. “Once when I was blue,” said a busi- ness man, “a friend told me I was wor- rylng over imaginary troubles. He cheered me up with a yarn about his little nephew. This little fellow’s sis- ter said one morning: “‘Oh, Gussie, I had such a lovely‘ dream last night! I dreamed I was at a cake shop, and I had such loads of good things—ice cream, pie, strawberry shortcake, chocolates, jelly macaroons, kisses and lots of other things besides.’ | “The little boy’s eyes glistened. He smiled with delight. “*And what was I eating? he asked | eagerly. “‘Oh, you wasn’t there, Gussie. “Then, overwhelmed with sorrow, lit- tle Gussle hid his face in his hands and wept bitterly.” Hercules' Labors. The* twelve labors of Hercules were: To slay the Nemean lion; to kill the Lernean hydra; to catch and hold the Arcadian stag; to destroy the Eryman- thian boar; to cleanse the stables of | King Augeas; to destroy the cannibal birds of Lake Stymphalus; to capture the Cretan bull; to catch the horses of Diomedes; to get possession of the girdle of Hippolyte, queen of the Ama- zons; to capture the oxen of the mon- ster Geryon; to get possession of the apples of the Hesperides and to bring up from the infernal regions the three headed dog Cerberus. ‘The irresponsible Child. Small Boy (noticing the Phi Beta Kappa key hanging from the minis- ter's watch chain)—Did you find it again, or is this another? Minister—Why, my little man, what do you mean? I never lost it, Small Boy—Oh, mother said you had lost the charm you had when you were young.—Judge. Walking Sticks. The sixteenth century is that in which the walking stick became not merely a useful implement, but an ar- ticle of fashion, dignity and luxury. In the seventeenth century it was gold headed and made of rare woods. It was a sign of leadership. For a long period there was little variety among Englishmen in the ma- terial used for the majority of walking sticks. The “oaken towel” as it was pleasantly termed when an enemy was to be “rubbed down,” shared popular- ity with the crab tree cudgel, which, among rural folk especially, was much valued and classic from the gonflict in “Hudibras,” when— ‘With many a stiff thwack, many a bang, Hard crab tree on old iron rang. Classic, too, is that stout oaken stick which sturdy Dr. Johnson, who, like Knox, “never feared the face of living man,” provided himself with when he went to the pit of the little theater in the Haymarket in full view of Foote, who had announced his intention of “taking him off” on the stage, an in- tention which in view of the stick he i 'did not carry into etfect.—Gentleman’s Magazine. Linked Eyebrows. It is popularly believed that if one’s eyebrows meet it indicates deceit. Charles Kingsley indorses this belief, but Tennyson has other ideas and poetically speaks of “married brows.” In Turker meeting eyebrows are { greatly adinired, an? the women use artificial means to bring the brows to this condition, and if art cannot in- duce thin eyebrows to grow they make | up by drawing a black line with paste. It would appear that the Greeks ad- mired brows which almost met, and the fashionable inhabitants of Rome not only approved of them, but re- sorted to pigments to" make up the lack which sometimes existed. Some proverbs state that the person whose eyebrows meet will always have good luck, while others state ex- actly the reverse. The Chinese say that “people whose eyebrows meet can never hope to attain to the dig- nity of a minister of state,” and in Greece of today the man whose brows meet is said to be a vampire, while in Denmark and Germany It 18 said he is a werewolf.—London Standard. A Rhymed Wedding. According to the Mexico Ledger, John Stobie, a Wellston magistrate, united a negro couple with this cere- mony: Jim, will you take Bet ‘Without any regret To love and to cherish Till one of you perish And is laid under the sod, So help you God? { Jim having given the usual affirma- tive answer, Judge Stoble turned to Bet: Bet, will you take Jim And ¢ling to him, Both out and in, Through thick and thin, ‘Holding him to your heart, Till death do you part? Bet modestly acquiesced, and the newly married couple were dismissed with this benediction: Through life's alternative joy and strife ‘ I now pronounce you man and wife. Go up life’s hill till you get to the.level And salute your bride, you dusky devil! Made Over Prescriptions. “There is one loss sustained by drug- i gists that very few people know about,” said the experienced -clerk. “That is in the prescriptions that have to be made over, the same as clerks, | stenographers, writers and artists, no matter how painstaking, frequently have to do their work over. The most careful drug clerk in existence is bound to make mistakes sometimes in meas- uring and mixing. He may pour in too much of some kind of liquid or sift "in too much of a certain powder. In most cases the overdose would not real- ly affect the value of the medicine, but { the conscientious clerk isn’t going to take any chances on murdering any- body, so he throws away the whole | mixture and makes up another pre- seription.”—New York Globe. History In July. In at least four countries perhaps the most important event in their histories was recorded in July—namely, the es- tablishment of their independence. In our own history we have the memora- ble Fourth of July, while the patriotic efforts of the liberator Simon Bolivar for the independence of Venezuela were consummated on July 5, Colombia ridding herself of the Spanish yoke on July 20. Then there is France, with her July 14, marking the date when the suffering Irench people stormed the famed and fearsome Bastille. The Spanish forces at Santiago, Cuba, ca- pitulated on July 16. A Famous Year. It is contended that the year 1809 gave more celebrities and persons of genius to the world than any other year of the nineteenth century. Among those who were born in that memora- ble year were Abraham Lincoln, Edgar Allan Poe, Oliver Wendell Holmes, William Ewart Gladstone, Charles Dar- win, Lord Houghton, Alfred Tennyson, Edward Fitzgerald, Professor Blackie, Mary Cowden Clarke and Felix Men- delssohn, Absolutely Free. Angry Mother (suddenly entering parlor and catching young music teach. er kissing her daughter)—Young man, Is this what I pay you for? Music Teacher—No, ma’am; I make no charge for this.—Florida Times-Union. Inconsistency. “Pa, what is the meaning of incon- sistency?” asked Freddy . “Inconsistency, my son.” exclaimed pa, “mieans a man who growls all day and then goes home and kicks the dog for barking at night.” An Angry Elephant. A sentinel in the menagerie at Paris has had a curious experience with one of the largest elephants. The sentinel was very conscientious and always re- ; quested the spectators not to give the animals anything to eat, which seemed to displease the elephant in question to | such an extent that he several times sprinkled the sentry’s head with water from his trunk. One day a bystander offered this particular elephant a large cake. The sentinel interfered, as usual, and the elephant promptly dis- charged in his face a violent stream of water. A general laugh ensued, but the sentinel, having calmly wiped his face, stood on one side and continued as watchful as before. Soon after- | ward he found it necessary to repeat his admonition, but no sooner was this uttered than the elephant laid hold of his musket, twirled it round his trunk, trod it under his feet and did not re- store it until he had twisted it into | nearly the form of a corkscrew. Then | he gave a snort at the discomfited i sentinel, as if to say, “Now I hope you'll mind your own business!” i A Neighing Cock. Camden says the Thames was once called the Cockney, and therefore a cockney means simply one who lives on the banks of the Thames. Wedg- | wood says a cockney, or cockerney, is one pampered by city indulgenge, in contradistinction to rustics hardened by outdoor work. There is, however, a | legend, almost too gnnd to be true— namely, that a wowdoner who had | never before slept out of sound of Bow Bells had occasion to go into the country and was detained all night. He was much disturbed by the lowing of the cattle, the grunting of the pigs and other sounds of country life, which he could not understand, and in par- ticular he was frightened by the crow- ing of the cock. In the morning, in response to the farmer’s inquiries, he said the sound of the wild beasts had kept him ‘awake. Just at that mo- ment the cock crowed again, and the Londoner said: “That’s the one! He's been neighing like that for hours!” Since then Londoners have been called cockneighs or cockneys. The Python. Contrary to general belief, the py- thon or boa conmstrictor rarely attacks people and is looked upon very differ- ently by the people from the hama- dryad and cobra. The python will take up his abode in a neighborhood and will not disturb anything except the henroosts. These he disturbs very much, as he has a great fondness for chickens; also for a stray dog or small goat. I know of one case, how- ever, In a floating house where a py- thon attacked a woman and, contrary to the preconceived idea, did not crush her in his folds, but attempted to swallow her, commencing with one of her feet. When she was rescued her foot and ankle were badly lacerated by the snake’s teeth. The Chinese kill the python to make medicine from the llver, which has a high repute among them. They also use the dried skin for medicine. Any Chinese drug shop in Siam will have a number of python sking for sale.—Medical Journal. Woman the Tougher Sex. Although men, as they run, are per- haps muscularly stronger than women, their inability to withstand the ele- ments and their reliance upon clothes place them considerably below the so called weaker sex in the matter of un- clothed toughness. Women wear clothes for ornament. Men use them as pro- tective covering. A group of men ma- rooned clotheless on an island in the temperate zone might be expected to die off in a month from drafts and colds and rheumatism. The health of women similarly placed would suffer little from the enforced exposure. The fact appears to be, therefore, that in everything but muscle—in vitality, rug- gedness, character, disposition, brain power, etc.—woman is the tougher, not the weaker, sex.—Kansas City Journal. ! A Xantippe Outwitted. An Englishman of Lymington had the misfortune to live in a continuous quarrel with his wife, who was a mod- | ern Xantippe and threatened in case | she survived him to dance over his | grave. It was her lot to outlive him, | but it was not so easy to carry out her threat. The husband had the pre- caution to make an injunction in his will requiring his body to be buried in the sea near his residence and without ceremony. The injunction was com- plied with. Succeeded. “No, sir,” said the stern parent, “I cannot give my consent—at least not now. Before I will think of confiding my daughter to your care you must succeed in doing something.” “Oh, I've done that. I succeeded in kissing her last night after she had as- sured me that I never could until you had given your approval.” Expensive. “No; I've decided never to accept| friendly advice any more.” | “Why not? It doesn’t cost you any- thing.” “Well, I've found out that it almost Invariably costs you your friends.”— Exchange. The Observing One. Patron—How can you tell whether a couple are married or not? Hotel Keeper—If he orders two whole por- | tions, they are not; if he orders one portion for two, they are, A Parting Shot. Group of Shoeblacks (in chorus)— Shine, sir; shine? Seedy Masher (Ir- ritably)—No, confound you all; no, One of Them—Cut the fringe off your trou- ters same time, sir. e ————————————————————————————————————— Sally’s Iron. N In describing seme of her assoclateg of the stage, Ellen Terry, in McClure’s Magazina, tells of her dresser, Sarah Holland. She had an extraordinarily, open mind, writes Miss Terry, and ‘was ready to grasp each new play as it came along as a separate and entire ly different field of operations. She was extremely methodical and only got flurried once in a blue moon. ‘When we went to America and made the acquaintance- of that dreadful thing, a “one night stand,” she was as precise and particular about having everything nice and in order for me as if we were going to stay in the town a month. Down went my neat square of white drugget. All the lights in my dressing room were arranged as I wished. Everything was unpacked and ironed. One day when I came into some American theater to dress I found Sally nearly in tears. . “What's the matter with you, Sally?” I asked. “I ’aven’t 'ad a morsel to heat all day, dear, and I can’t ’eat my iron.” “Eat your irom, Sally! What do you mean?” “’0w am I to iron all this, dear?” wailed my faithful Sally, picking up my Nance Oldfield apron and a few other trifles. “It won't get ’ot!” Until then I really thought that Sally ‘was being sardonic about an iron as a substitute for victuals., Telephone Manners. Do telephones lead to politeness or otherwise? When they first came into ! use the answer to this question woul@ have been emphatically in the nega- tive, but now that they are almost uni- versally prevalent an era of good manners and “thank rou's” seems to be in full swing. In some communities i it is not even possible to quarrel over the telephone, although the two women { who took part in the following conver- sation came near it: “Hello! Is this Mrs. Weston?” “Yes.” | “This is your next door neighbor, § Mrs. Lawrence. I thought you might | be interested to know that at the pres- ent moment your son Thomas is sitting on one of the sheets which are bleach- ing on my lawn and is building a large pile of mud on it.” { “Oh, thank you, Mrs. Lawrence!” es- claimed the mother. “And may I re- turn the favor by informing you that 1 your setter Rab has just rooted up my two new rosebushes and that he seems to be chewing the buds!” “Oh, indeed! Thank you! Goodby!” “Not at all. Thank you! Goodby!” i Tired of Him. - At a trial in Scotland a lady got into the witness box to be examined, when | the following conversation took place between her and the opposing coun- sel: Counsel—How old are you? Miss Jane—Oh, weel, sir, I am an unmarried woman and dinna think it right to answer that question. The Judge—Oh, yes; answer the gen- tleman, How old are you? Miss Jane—Weel-a-weel, I am fifty, [ Counsel—Are you not more? Miss Jane—Weel, T am sixty. The inquisitive lawyer still further asked if she had any hopes of getting married, to which Miss Jane replied: “Weel, sir, I winna tell a lee. I hin- na lost hope yet,” scornfully adding, t “But I widna marry you, for I am sick and tired o’ your palaver already.” Psychology of Broken Jaws. It might be a bit of a strange faect, but you would be astonished to see the broken jaws which are presented at free institutions on holidays—elec- tion day, New Year’s day and the Fourth of July. A great number of fractured jaws are the result of wuar- rels among the very lowest classes. It surprises me that the number of bro- ken jaws is not on the increase on ac- count of the heated newspaper discus- sions that we are constantly having on various topics of the day. It has been said that were it not for the mouth nine-tenths of the gossip and the mischief of the world would be prevented. And very often were it not for the mouth there would be -~ broken jaws.—D. B. Breundlich in New York Medical Journal. Shooting Stars. When a shooting star breaks into flame in our atmosphere the residuum of the combustion remains in the air and can be found in what is known as atmospheric dust. The virgin snow of the polar regions was often seen to be spotted with traces of dust which con- tained particles of iron. Like particles are found on church towers and else- where. Among the minute bodies that dance in the sun’s rays there are cer- tainly particles of shooting stars, Showing Him How. “You young scoundrel,” said the fa- ther, seizing his disobedient son by the hair, “I’ll show you how to treat your mother!” And he gave him several bangs on the ears and then shook him until his hair began to fall out. Youthful Assurance. “When I was your age,” sald the stern parent, “I was accumulating money of my own.” “Yes,” answered the graceless youth, “but don’t you think the public was easier then than it is new?’—Washing- ton Star. The Final Shock. Patient—Doctor, I don’t thigk I can use the battery any more. Will it be necessary to shock me again? Doctor —Only once more. I'll send in my bill tomorroxw. ‘Wise men read very sharply all your private history in your look and galf and bebavior.—Emerson.