Bemidji Daily Pioneer Newspaper, September 17, 1908, Page 2

TIlE BEMIDJI DAILY PIONEER PUBLISHED NVARY AFTERNOON, BEMIDII PIONEER PUBLISHING CO. By CLYDE J._PRYOR. Tntered in the postoffice at Bemidji. Minn., a8 second class matter. SUBSCRIPTION---$5.00 PER ANNUM He Told the Lawyer. Lawyer . is well known for his un- comely habits. He cuts his hair about four times a year and the rest of the time looks decidedly ragged about the ears. He was making a witness de- seribe a barn which figured in his last case. “How long had the barn been built?” “Oh, I don’t know—about a year mebby, about nine* months p'r'aps.” “But just how long? Tell the jury how long it had been built.” “Well, I don’t know exactly—quite "\D“’ Mr. B, you pass for an intel- ligent farmer, 'm(l yet you can’t tell me how old this barn is, and you have lived on the next farm for ten years. Can you tell me how old your own barn is? Come, now, tell us how old your own house is, if you think you know.” Quick as lightning the old farmer replied: “You want to know how old my house is, do ye? Well, it's just about as old as you be, and the roof needs seeing to about as bad.” In the roar that followed the witness stepped down, and Lawyer S. didn't call him back.—London Globe. An Acceptable Clock. A well known professor sometimes became so much interested in his lec- ture that when the noon bell rang he kept the class five or ten minutes over the hour. Certain lesf]q;s spirits among the students thought they would give him a gentle hint, so they bought an alarm clock, set it to go off precise- 1y at noon and placed it on the profess- or's desk when they came in to the next lecture. They knew that he was a little absentminded a&and expected that he would not notice it. As the noon hour struck the alarm went off with a crash, and those of the class not in the secret started and took in the joke at once. There was a round of applause. The professor waited un- tll the alarm and the applause were over and then said: “Young gentle- men, thank you for this little gift. I had forgotten it was my birthday. An alarm clock is something my wife has needed for our servant for some time. It is a very kind remembrance on your part.” The professor then went on to finish a demonstration interrupted by the alarm.—London Tit-Bits. Names In Alaska. Life in Alaska is uncouth in parts, but it has its refinements. In Valdes there lived a man named Jake, who kept a boarding house for dogs. When the prospectors returned from their sled trips they would place their teams in his charge until ready to start out again. As he fed his guests on gar- bage gathered by a house to house can- vass, he was known by every one as “Slop Jake." Once upon a time he fell ill, and the newspaper wished to chronicle the fact. No one, however, knew Jake's other name, and it didn't seem worth while to waste the time of the editorial staff on so Insignificant a detall. So the news was printed thus: “Our well known fellow citizen, S. Jake, is confined to his house with & severe cold. It is hoped he will be out: soon.”—New York Times. Fooling the Beans. A Yankee of the quaint old time type was preparing to bestow a coat of whitewash on his henhouse one spring long ago. He had completed the mix- ing of the whitewash, a writer in the Manchester Unlon says, and, looking round for something on which to try it, picked up a bean pole and ran the brush over it. Another local character, ‘who was driving by, stopped his horse and called out: “Hello! What ye white- ‘washing your bean poles for?” “Thought everybody knew that beans grow better on birch poles,” returned the other without pausing in his work. “Ye don’t expect to make birch poles that way, do ye?” “Mebbe not, but whitening of ’em ’Il make the beans think the poles are birch.anyhow.” Origin of Cemeteries. In ancient times burials were always outside the walls of a city or town. Indeed, before the time of Christianity it was not lawful to bury the dead within the limits. About the end of the sixth century St. Augustine obtain- ed of King Ethelbert a temple of idols —used by the king before his conver- slon—and made a burying place of it, and St. Cuthbert afterward obtained leave of the pope (A. D. 752) to have yards made to the churches suitable for the burial of the dead. The Little Ones. It was a bright and very original lit- tle boy named Barber, who, upon hear- Ing his father speak of “their neighbor, Mr. Wood and his children, the little splinters,” and of another neighbor, “Mr. Stone and the little pebbles,” re- marked: “I suppose if they met papa they would say: ‘Good morning, Mr. ‘Barber. How are all the little shav- ers? His Advantage. “You can’t spell long words like hip- popotamus and parallelogram,” said the little boy who wore spectacles and a sallor suit. “Well,” answered the boy who was leading a dog by a piece of rope, “dai’s ‘where I'm lucky. I don’t have to.” Four Kinds of Trouble. Judge—What have you to say as to the charge that while the husband of one woman you married three others? Bigamist — Simply this—that having four of a kind isn’t what it is cracked | up to be. The man who gets loaded has a poor alm in life—Beaumont (Tex.) Enter- brise. A Deal In Gum. Some of thuse little newsboys are re- sourceful little mites. A day ‘or two 2g0 8 business man dropped a silyer mounted fountain pen through the grating in front of a building on West Third street. They told him In the store that there was no access to the hole from the Inside. He seemed to be up: against it. Two newsles saw him peering down into the gratifig and got Interested. “I'll git it out fer you, mister,” spoke up one of them, “if you'll stand the ex- pense. It'll take about a nickel's worth o’ chewin’ gu The man sald he would finance the gum scheme, whatever it might be. A minute or two later the boy had dashed into a store and got a yard- stick. He was chewing hard on an entire 5 cents’ worth of gum. As soon as this was properly softened by the process of mastication he placed it on the end of the yardstick, stuck the stick through the grating until the gum met the pen and brought the pen up with the utmost dispatch.—Cleveland Plain Dealer. Sand Fish. At low tide in midsummer on cer- tain parts of the Breton coast men and boys with baskets and hoes descend the white Deach to the sea’s edge. They are anglers, but the fish they seek live on dry land. With his hoe each fisherman makes swiftly in the packed sand shallow parallel trenches, very close together and about a yard long. If the luck be good every scratch of the hoe uncovers three or four sil- very fish, the size of sardines, that leap up glittering into the air. They must be seized quickly or at once they bury themselves in the sand again. They are called lancons. The smaller ones are used for mackerel balt; the larger, with their heads cut off, make, fried, an excellent dish a good deal like fried smelts. With daylight tides the lancons are seldom bigger than a man’s middle finger, but with the night tides, when promenaders have not disturbed the sand, they run very large indeed. Then, their lanterns flagh- ing on the beach, the Breton fishermen often capture lancons a foot long. Cut Heads. The Liverpool Post has been making observations with regard to the “cut heads” which are treated at the hos- pitals between 12 and 2 a. m. The Post says that the house surgeons have noticed a curious difference In the sexes on different nights. On Sat- urday nights the subjects are mostly men who have received their wages, redeemed their clothes from pawn and drunk enough to lead to a brawl. Mon- day night, however, is “ladies’ night.” The men have gone to work, and the wives have taken their husbands’ best and only suit to the pawnshop, and then it is their turn to drink the pro- ceeds and cut one another’s heads. The usual answer to the "question “Who did it?” is, “Another lady wot ltves in the same 'ouse.” Married Paupers and Divorce.. “An odd thing about married paupers is that they like to live sepnmte," sald a single pauper. “You know how almshouses are ar- ranged. There’s a men’s ward, a wom- en’s ward and a mixed or married ward. Well, the mixed ward is always nearly empty. Not that we lack mar- ried paupers. Oh, no. But the hus- bands prefer to bachelor it among the men and the wives to old maid it among the women. The older our mar- ried paupers get the more vehement is their insistence on separate living. “‘She’s allus a-naggin’,’ the octogena- rian will growl. “‘Nobody can't sleep o' nights with sech snorin’ as hisn,’ sniffs the septua- genarian female. “And so they separate—to all intents divorced.”—Philadelphia Bulletin. A Great Financier. A man who occupied a little back room In a poor quarter of the east end of London was evicted for nonpayment of rent. He had nothing but a valise and a few clothes, and while they were throwing him and his belongings out of the house a bulky manuscript fell out of his pocket. Nobody noticed it at the time, but after he had gathered his clothes and taken his departure one of the bystanders saw the big roll of paper, picked it up and on opening It was surprised and amused to find it contained an elaborate scheme for refunding the national debi of the British empire. Knew His Rights. “I fine you,” said the police justice, “$30 and costs.” “Y’r honor,” protested Tuffold Knutt, who had been hauled up for vagrancy, “all the prop’ty I've got in the world is a plugged nickel an’ me clo'es, an’ they hain’t wuth more’'n about two bits. . That fine’s onreasonable. It's con- fistication, an’ it won't never stand the test o' the fed'ral courts. I shall take an appeal, y'r honor!” — Chicago Trib- une. The Negro and the Watermelon. A negro bought a watermelon for 50 cents and scld it a few minutes later for the same price. The purchaser changed his mind and sold it back to the negro for 40 cents. Later the negro sold it for 60 cents. How much profit did he make?—New York World. Saves Him. “How did Sniggsley ever get his rep- utation for the possession of great wis- dom?” “His wife talks so much that he nev- er gets a chance to expose his ig- norance.”—Chicago Record-Herald, Life without liberty is joyless, but life without joy may be great. The greatness of life is sacrifice.—Ouida, Foiled. “Ah!” sald Bragley, with a view to making Miss Wise jealous. “I was alone last evening with some one I ad- mire very much.” “Ah!” echoed the bright girl. “Alone, ‘were you ?’—Philadelphia Press. A Losing Scheme. “They tell me that poor Jolly is a victim of his own good fellowship.” “That’s so. He lost his own health In drinking other peoplel. '—Baltimore American, s er to rival the famous Stradivarius in: struments; but this an American maker did, and did so effectively that experts pronounced his vlulln a genuine Stradi- | varius. The successful man was. the late George Gemunder, a famous violin maker of New York. His remarkable ability as a preparer of violins was known to many a flisungu[shed player, ‘such as Ole Bull, Remenyl and Wil- helmj. But he made, so runs the story, his greatest success at the Paris expo- sitlon of Eiffel tower fame. To that ex- hibition he sent an imitation Stradiva- rlus and to test its merits had it placed on exhibition as the genuine article. A committee of experts carefully ex- amined the Instrument and pronounced it a Stradivarius. So far Mr. Gemun- der’s triumph was complete. But now came a difficulty. When he claimed that it was not an old violin, but a new one made by himself, the committee would not believe him. They declared he never made the instrument and pro- nounced him an impostor. He had done his work too well. Can't Twiddle Their Thumbs. The gorilla and chimpanzee, which belong to the higher order of apes, have many points of resemblance to man, but there is one thing they can- not do—that is, twiddle their thumbs. In the gorilla the thumb is short and does pot reach much beyond the bot- tom of the first joint of the forefinger. It is very much restricted in its move- ments, and the animal can neither twiddle his thumbs nor turn them round so that the tips deseribe a circle. There are the same number of bones in the hand of a gorilla as in the hand of a man, but the thumbs of the monkey bhave no separate flexor or bending muscle. This is why a monkey always keeps the thumb on the same side as the fingers and never bends it round any object that’ may be grasped. In the gorilla the web between the fingers extends to the second joint, the fingers taper to the tips, and there is a callos- ity on the knuckles onwhich the ani- mal rests when walking on all fours. Fickleness In Penmanship. Speaking of check signatures and forgery, a downtown paying teller re- marked: “One of the most peculiar points in our business is one little com- prehended by the public. I mean the embarrassment caused by the man whose signature Is seldom the same, or nearly so, two weeks in succession, “This fickleness is not Intentional. It is in almost every case temperamen- tal. The man gullty of it is generally nervous and not infrequently is greatly lacking in stability of character. At times you, as a layman, would hardly belleve it possible that his signature on two different checks was the work of the same hand. “Of course we come to know these cases In. time, and there are always dertain characteristics in a person’s handwriting which the expert can de- tect and which go far to convince. Nevertheless the changeable signature is a nuisance and involves an added peril.”—New York Globe. How Men and Women Face Death. How do men and women face death when the sentence is pronounced by the doctor? A medical man tells us his experience. Tell the man of higher type and greater intelligence, he says, that he is facing death and he begins to fight, demands a consultation, talks about going to speclalists and fights grimly to the finish. Tell a woman the same facts, and she lies back to await her fate. All women are fatal- ists. On the other hand, tell a man that he has one chance in a thousand to recover if he will undergo an opera- tion, and he will trust to his own strength and endurance rather than undergo the knife. The woman will choose the thousandth chance and sub- mit to the operation with astounding calmness.—Woman’s Life. Burning With Curiosity. A certain famous authoress who is much worried by unknown correspond- ents has taken her revenge in a some- what eccentric fashion. She received a letter from a woman informing her that the writer had named her last baby after her and requesting the authoress’ views on her choice. She recelved a thick envelope, heavily sealed, with this inscription: “Not to be opened till baby’s thirtieth birthday.” Now the mother is worrying herself day and night as to the contents of the envel- ope. Lines by a Sick Poet, Mr. Willlam Watson, when ill in London and attempting a dinner for which he had no appetite, scribbled these lines on a scrap of paper, which he threw to his attendant: Strange sauce that's mingled with the meat, Strange meat that's mingled with the sauce—in vain. I eat and, wond'ring what and why I eat, Long for the .porridge of my youth agaln. —London Chronicle. Quite Clear. Masquerader (explaining who he is supposed to represent)—I'm that fellow who fought the battle of what do you call it, you know. What's his name says all about him in his great book. You remember, every one took him for ®he other chap untll they found he touldn’t be; then they knew he wasn’t. Think L look the part?—London Sketch. Going Some. “Was his auto going very fast?” “Your honor, it was going so fast that the bulldog on the seat beside him looked like a dachshund "—Hous- lon Post. Hope Is the dream of the man awake. ~Plate, How to Flll Up Holes In Wood. It sometimes becomes necessary to il up cracks or dents in fine wood- work, furniture, floors, etc. The fol- lowing is the best way of doing It: ‘White tissue paper is steeped and per- fectly softened in water and by thor- ough kneading with glue transformed into a paste and by means of ochers (earth colors) colored as nearly as pos- sible to the shade of the wood. To the paste calcined magnesia Is then added, and it is ‘forced into the cracks or- very firmly to the wood and after dry- ing retains its smooth surfaca ¥ 5 MUTUALLY AGREED TO'DIE Evidence Tending to $how That De- ceased Was a Member of an Organ- ization' Composed of Men as Des- perate as Himself Whe Had De- cided .on. Self-Destruction as the Only Solution of Their Troubles. Omaha, Sept. 17.—An attorney em- ployed by certain interests connpcted with the Rustin case says he has evi- dence, to be disclosed later, tending to show that Dr. Rustin belonged to a suicide club composed of men as des- perate as himself, who mutually agreed on death as the only solution of their financial and moral distress. These men, the attorney argues, had met in the resorts where Dr. Rustin first encountered Mrs. Abbie Rice, who revealed in her testimony at the coroner’s inquest ‘the astounding story of the death pact into which she and the doctor had entered. This at- torney declined to go into the details of his discovery until the preliminary hearing Sept. 24. J. H. Mclntosh, a brother-in-law of Dr. Rustin, who was in Europe when the tragedy occurred, has returned to this country and will be in Omaha in a day or two to assume general direc- tion for the family of the procedure to obtain the insurance the doctor left, which ‘is said to have amounted to $75,000. One company has already an- nounced its readiness to turn over $22,500, the full amount he carried. MANY LIVES IMPERILLED. Incendiary Twice Fires Big New York Flathouse. New York, Sept. 17.—The lives of more than one hundred persons were twice imperilled when an incendiary attempted to burn a big five-story flat- house in West One- Hundred and Twentieth street. The first blaze was oxtinguished easily, but had it not been for the presence of mind of Mar- garet Raubert, eight years old, the sec- ond fire might have caused a stam- pede among the sleeping dwellers in the house. Through a plate glass panel in the apartment of her parents on the sec- ond floor she saw a man start a blaze In the vacant rooms across the hall. Instead of screaming she ran on tiptoe to her father’s bedroom and teld him the house was afire. Evidently the man heard Raubert leap from his bed, for he took to the 'stairs and escaped before the house was aroused. DEATH LIST NOW NINE. Result- of Powder Explosion at Wind- sor, Mo. Sedalia, Mo., Sept. 17.—Two addi- tional deaths have occurred as a re- sult of the explosion of several hun- dred pounds of powder and dynamite In a freight car at Windsor, Mo. This brings the total death list up to nine and it is believed that the other in- jured will recover. Physicians stated that A. F. Hersch- berger, the freight conductor who is accused of causing the explosion by attempting a practical joke, will re- cover. Herschberger is able to talk and emphatically denied that he was responsible for the disaster. He laid the blame to one of the negroes, who, he declared, had thrown a_ lghted match into a small pile of powder that had been spilled. Gross Frauds Alleged. Chicago, Sept. 17.—Handwriting ex- perts have begun an examination of primary election ballots cast in the state’s attorneyship econtest between Wayman and Healy in the Ninth ward, where Healy alleges gross frauds were perpetrated in favor of Wayman, who gained the Republican nomination. This work will require over a month, when the ballots of other wards must be examined. Electric Flatiron Starts Fire. Chicago, Sept. 17.—Fire caused by an electric flatiron left in a pile of linen with the curremt accldentally running through it destroyed the home of John C. Fetzer at Hinsdale, a suburb. Mr. Fetzer, who is a capitalist and receiver for the Central Life Se- curities company, and members of his tamily were driven from their beds by the flames. The loss is placed at $50,- 000. Americans Murdered in Mexice. Bisbee, Ariz., Sept. 17—The bodies of John O'Leary and John Poe, Amer- ican prospectors, who left last August on a camping trip, have been found in the mountains thirty-five miles from Montezuma, Sonora, Mex. The bodies had been partially eaten by wild ani- mals, but there were indications that they had beea murdered and thelr camp looted. Prepared to Fight Cholera. Paris, Sept. 17.—While the Fremch sanitary officials do not believe that the Asiatic cholera will reach France Ircm Russia a comprehensive plan of sanitary defense has been drawn up and is ready for instant application. Two Well Diggers Asphyxiated. Winnipeg, Man.; Sept. 17.—Two res- idents of Windsor, Ont., William Re- gan and John Richardson, were as- phyxiated in a wall they were digging for a farmer twelve miles south of Regina, Sask. They were down forty feet and dynamite was then used to remove the rock, but this opened a pocket of gas and. before the men could be brought to the surface life was extinct. _ Falls a Victim to Enemies. Rio Janeiro, Sept. 17.—A telegram Iuywmiufier‘ ing long with this disease, for to ~=fiecthuickcum it is only neces- sary to take 'w doses of Gllamborlam’ Colic, Cholera and Diarrhoea Remedy In fact, in most cases one dose is sufficient. It never fails and can be relied upon in the most severe and dangerous cases. It is equally val- uable for children and is the means of saving the lives of many children each year. In the world's history no medicine has ever met with greater success. PRICE 25¢. LARGE SIZE 60c. received ~here from Manaos, Brazil, brings the news that Placido Castro, who gained considerable prominence in. 1901 by his resistance to the en- croachments of Bolivia in Acre, has fallen a victim to a felonious assault on the part of his political enemies. MARKET QUOTATIGNS. Minneapolis Wheat, Minneapolis, Sept. 16.—Wheat— Sept., $1.02%%; Dec., $1.03% @1.03%; May, $1.06% @1.06%. On track—No. 1 hard, $1.05; No. 1 Northern, $1.04; No. 2 Northern, $1.01%; No. 8 North- ern, 99c@$1.01. Duluth Wheat and Flax. Buluth. Sept. 16.—Wheat—To arrive and on track—No. 1 hard, $1.04%;; No. 1 Northern; $1.04%; No. 2 Northern, $1.01%; Sept.,, $1.03%; Dec., $1.02%; May, $1.06%., Flax—To arrive, on track and ‘Sept., $1.25%; Oct., $1.24%; Nov., $1.2434; Dec., $1.23. 8t. Paul Union Stock Yards. St. Paul, Sept. 16.—Cattle—Good to choice steers, $6.00@6.75; fair to good, $5.00@5.76; good to choice cows and heifers, $4.00@5.00; veals, $3.75@6.00. Hogs—$5.50@6.90. Sheep—Wethers, $3.76@4.00; yearlings, $4.00@4.25; spring lambs, $4.50@5.00. Chicago Grain and Provisions. Chieago, Sept. 16.—Wheat—Sept., $1.01%; Dec., $1.01%; May, $1.03% @ 1.01%. Corn—Sept., 79¢; Dec., 673%c; May, 66834c. Oats—Sept., 48 @483%c; Dec., 49%c; May, 51%ec. Pork—Sept., $14.95; Oct., $15.02%; Jan., $16.92%. Butter—Creameries, 1814 @23c; dair- ies, 17@20c. Eggs—2lc. Poultry— Turkeys, 15¢c; chickens, 10%c; springs, 14%ec. Chicago Union Stock Yards. Chicago, Sept. 16.—Cattle—Beeves, $8.60@7.60; Texans, $3.50@5.00; West- ern cattle, $3.20@5.85; stockers and feeders, $2.60@4.40; cows and heifers, $1.70@5.65; calves, $6.00@8.50. Hege —Light, $6.65@7.35; mixed, $6.65@ 7.42%; heavy, $6.65@7.45; rough, $6.65@6.85; pigs, $1.60@6.40; good to choice heavy, §6.85@7.46; porkers, $7.25@7.35. Sheep. $2.25@4.25; year- lings, $4.20@4.75; lambs. $3.26@35.70. St. Hilaire Retail Lbr. Co. Calljin and look over our special line of fancy glass doors. We have a large and well assorted stock from which you can make your selection. WE SELL 16-INCH SLAB W00D BEMIDJI, MINN. 'Buxldxr\g Material We carry in stock at all times a com- plete line of lumber and building material of all descriptions. ANCHOR CEMENT OUR. CLAIMS: Continuous Air Space. Moisture Proof. Can be plastered on without lath- |} ing or stripping with perfect safety. Any width from 8 to 12 inches. Yards on Red Lake “Y.” R S T For sale by OMICH & YOUNG, Proprietors. BLOCKS Anchor Concrete Block Co. Subseribe For The Pioneer. Typewriter Ribbons The Pioneer keeps on hand all the standard makes of Typewriter Ribbons, at the uniform price of 75 cents for all ribbons except the two- and three-color ribbons and special makes. ———