Bemidji Daily Pioneer Newspaper, April 28, 1908, Page 2

THE BEMIDJI DAILY PIONEER PUBLISHND NVERY AFTERNOON, BEMIDJI PIONEER PUBLISHING CO. By CLYDE!.'PRYOR. Totered In the postoffice at Bemldjl. Minn., as second class matter. SUBSCRIPTION---$5.00 PER ANNUM —_— OBSERVATIONS. . "By Doe.”] When a man does his best, he will do very well. When the Lord makes a fool, the devil gives him a tongue. A man never got off a joke so stale that he couldn’t laugh at it himself. You can patch up a quarrel, but it will always show where it is patched Anybody can launch a national party, but to keep it afloat requires finesse. The true test of greatness is the ability to wear the same size of hat continuously. It is your friends who pick you to pieces; other people are indifferent and let you alone. We are willing to be knaves in order to acquire whealth, and fools in order that it may not bore us. There are times in every man’s life when the way to earn his friend- ship and gratitude is to ask him no questions. Your friends may sometimes act mad because you do not come to see them, but they are not as mad as they seem. The first day a man is out of a job he aims to get the position of cashier in a bank; the second day he dreams of a clerkship, and the third day he is wretched because he can’t get the janitorship. The Sun From a Balloon. At the height of two miles the sun shines with a fierce intensity unknown below, where the dust and the denser air scatter the rays, which, thus dif- fused, lose their Intensity while illu- mining every nook and corner of our bouses. At helghts exceeding five miles this diffused light Is mostly gone; and the sun shines a glowing ball, sharply outlined in a sky of which the blue is|" so dark as to approach blackness. At the outer limits of the atmosphere the sun would appear a brilliant star of massive size among other stars, and if one stepped from lts burning rays into shadow he would enter Egyptian dark- mess. At the height of a mile and a half we found it necessary to shelter our faces to prevent sunburn, although the air around us was but little warm- er than that of the previous night, be- ing about 45 degrees. As the afternoon ‘wore on and the balloon began to cool and sink we were obliged to throw out much sand, casting it away a scoopful at a time, and just after sunset it was even necessary to empty two or three bags at once.—H. H. Clayton in Atlan- te. Too Significant. “These Spanish names in California puzzle me, but some of them have very interesting meanings,” commented a guest of one of the hotels. “Yes?” sald the manager. “They do, for a fact; they really do. I am keeping track of a list In my notebook. But the funny thing was In Santa Barbara. Listen to this: ‘Indlo Muerto street, meaning dead Indlan.’ Ah, here it is, the one 1 was after, a street named ‘Salsipuedes.’ Well, this street’s the one that runs to the hospital up on the sloping hillside above the town. When they built the hospital, they were at a loss for a name. Some one suggested calling it after this street. And they did. Then they hap- pened to look up the meaning of the ‘word.” “And what does it mean?” asked the manager. “ ‘Salsipuedes’ was originally a street that wandered up and down through a series of ravines, and it means ‘Get out if you can.’ Good name for a jail, but not for a hospital.”—San Francisco Chronlcle. The Queen’s Lesson. One of the ladles In waiting to the late Queen Victorla had a very bright Ilittle daughter about four years old and of whom the queen was very fond, The queen invited the child to have lunch with her. Of course the mother was highly pleased and charged the lit- tle girl to be very careful about her table manners and to be very polite to the queen. * The little girl came home in high glee, and the mother asked her all about the luncheon. “Were you a very polite little girl? And did you remem- ber to do all I told you at the table?” asked the proud mamma, “‘Oh, yes; I was polite,” said the little girl, “but the queen wasn’t.” “The queen wasn’t!” said the mother. “Why, what did she do?” “She took her chicken bone up in her fingers, and 1 just shook my finger at her, like you dld at me, and sald, ‘Pig- 85, Piggy, piggy!’ "—Philadelphia North American. Not a Question of Grammar. The green reporter turned to Editor McEKelway. “Which should I say,” he asked hesitatingly, “ ‘My boy Henry la.l‘-dv;r;l €88 on the table? » ell,” sald Editor McKelway im- patiently, “if you want sSomething ‘to €row over, and he’s that kind of a hen- nery, let hlmlalny it on the table if he ean. Otherwise have him put it there.” ~—Judge, 5 x Pennyroyal and Fleas. ‘When it comes to talking about fleas the writer knows just where he is at. When he was a boy the country swarmed with them, and perhaps one of the things he will remember longest will be the sleepless nights and the tor ments that the fleas gave him when sitting in Quaker meetings, where he did not dare to scratch. For many years the people seemed to put up with them as an evil from which there was no escape, yet there was an efficient remedy growing on every farm in the shape of a modest little plant called pennyroyal, which-Is familiar to every country bred boy. The odor of this plant seems -very offensive to many kinds of Insects. A freshly bruised bunch of the plant put in a small bag and rubbed on the bed linen and then left in the bed will evict the last flea In a very few minutes. A few dropa of the essential oil of the plant, which can be got at any drug store, rubbed on one’s underclothing will drive them from the person immediately and if sprinkled about a room infested. with fleas will clear them out.—Forest and Stream. ! Before the Mirror. He Is one of those persons with a mad passion for figuring out “How much,” “How long,” etc., and was wait- ing for his wife, who was adjusting her hat before the mirror. -They were going to the theater and had ten min- utes. to catch their train. Presently a sparkle came into his eye, and he fish- ed a pencil and paper from his pocket. That kind of man always has.a pencil and paper even in his evening clothes. “Do you know,” he said presently, looking up at his wife, who had finish ed adjusting her hat, “that I figure, basing my figures on observation, that a girl from six to ten spends an aver- age of seven minutes a day before her mirror, from ten to fifteen a quarter of an hour, from fifteen to twenty twenty- two minutes. A woman of seventy will have spent 5,862 hours, or eight solid months, counting day and night. Now, a woman of your age has spent”— “Never mind what I’ve spent,” she sald coldly, removing her hat. “You have spent fifteen minutes figuring it out, and we have missed that train.”— St. Louis Republic. A Little Retouching. The wonders of photography are ever on the increase. Nevertheless there are still some limitations to the power and skill of even the most expert pho-| tographer. Mr. Hall is an amateur of no mean attainments, and when his old Aunt Hannah from Bushby came down to the city he secured a picture of her in her most characteristic pose—arms akimbo and mouth slightly open. When Aunt Hannah saw the first print she looked at it, held it off, drew it close. again and then sat down to write her nephew: Dear James—Yours with photograph taken during my late visit just received. In reply I would say I'm well enough pleased with it for myself and your folks. But in the one you send out to California to Emma I'd rather youw'd straighten out my elbows and let my arms hang. Af- fectionately, AUNT HANNAH. P. S.—Perhaps you'd better close my mouth a mite more, as Emma’s husband is a stranger to ‘me. —Youth’s Companion. And “Everybody Laughed.” The following story was told by El- len Thorneycroft Fowler in the London P. T. O.: “At a dinner party one even- ing after my wmarriage the conversa- tion, which was general, took a literary turn, and a gentleman sitting next to me, who did not know the identity of Mrs. Felkin with Ellen Thorneyeroft Fowler, began to descant on the way young authors spoil themselves with tricks. To emphasize his point he said, ‘What can be more horrible than Miss Fowler’s trick of saying “Everybody laughed?’’ There was a dead pause. He evidently expected me to make a re- mark, for when I did not speak he turned and said: ‘Oh, don’t you know Miss Fowler's books? Haven’t you read any of them? ‘I wrote them, I replied, and then, indeed, ‘everybody laughed.” ” A Mother’s Sacrifice. Legends in India run that if a wom- an stricken with leprosy suffers her- self to be buried alive the disease will not descend to her children. There was in the northwest provinces of In- dia the wife of a gardener on whom the loathsome malady had fallen. Chil- dren were born to her. The disease grew worse. She importuned her hus- band to bury her alive. He at last, yielding to her prayers, summoned his _son. The two dug the grave, and four neighbors assisted at the sepulture. 8o the woman died. These facts were in- vestigated In a magistrate’s court and were proved. In Lengthy Terms. In the suburbs of one of our great cities recently a new resident stopped in front of his neighbor’s gafe and in- quired of the boy swinging thereon: “Is your pa home, sonny ?” “No, sir,” replied the lad. “He went up the road apiece.” “Gone afoot?” “Noj; about a mile.”—Judge’s Library. To Keep From Breaking. “My hero has a strong face,” remark- ed the author. “He needs it,” replied the critic. “I notice his face falls every time he meets the heroine!” Not New. New Boarder—One thing P11 say for these eggs—there’s nothing bold or im- pudent about them. Landlady—Bold o. impudent! I don’t understand. New Boarder—Why, not a bit too fresh, you know. When a man has turned out to be a failure he tries to convince his friends that his conscience prevented him from making his pile.—Washington Post. Reading 2 Pig's Tail. “Don’t buy that pig,” sald the older butcher hastily. “Why not?” asked the younger man. “Look at his tail”” was the reply. “See how' loose it hangs, like the tail of a rat. That is a sign that the ani- mal 18 in bad health. “You can read a pig's conditfon by Its tall. The tighter it s curled the fitter is the pig. And when the tafl hangs straight, as this one does, the pig ought to take to his bed and send The made and satisfying. GoodE The good effect of . DR. PRIGE'S WHEAT FLAKE CELERY is chiefly due to the large residue and the natural wheat con- tained salts, both acting physically on the bowels, impartin: the necessary constant stimulus. vigorous daily exercise, are the valuable natural factors in overcoming constipation. never firow tired of Dr. Price’s F om the whole wi ffect These, wit You will ood, as it is heat berry—healthful 356 Story of a Foot Race. A voluble negro who was discovered pacing a fast heat across the Tenth street viaduct the other night explain- ed his haste to the policeman who ar- rested him. He explained that he had been to a swell dance and had paid the sum of $2.50 for the rent of the startlingly correct attire in which he was clad. During the progress of the dance a short yellow man had repeatedly bump- ed against him in a most offensive manner. He related the story with dignity . and unction. “Thish yere yellow nigger, he kep’ a-bumpin’ fnter me till' I ses to him, I ses, ‘T'll see you after this dance out- side,” T ses to him. “He ses, ‘Very well, suh; I’ll see you after this dance.” “I didn’t like the looks of him mno- how, and when we gits outside he pulls a big razzer, and he ses, ‘I'll ca’ve you,” he ses, jes’ that er-way. “1 thinks of that suit I pays $2.50 fer, and I gethers up all the rabbit they is in me, and I starts to runnin’, and 1 runs fast. I runs like a jack rabbit ontell I gits to the vi'duc’, and a big police he hollers to me: “‘Hey, there’ he hollers. you-all gwine so fas’? ““I's jis" a-runnin’ to ketch a cyar, 1 hollers back. But he grabs me, and he ses: - “‘Keteh' a car, nigger! Why, youse passed four cars a'ready!”—Omaha ‘World-Herald. ‘Whar Rarest of Trades. “Mine is the rarest of all trades,” said an Englishman. “l am a maker of instruments of torture. I suppose that at this moment in Siam and China yellow men are bleeding and howling in the clutch of machines of my make.” He lighted his pipe. “Pleasant thought, eh? But we must make our living somehow. In Birmingham mine’s made. There for seventeen years 1 have been turning out racks, hair and nail drawers, thumbscrews, skinn needle beds, searing irons, Lhone bre ers and what not. “Siam and China have bought their instruments of torture from Birming- ham for generations. Some of these contrivances are very costly and in- genious. There’s a water dropper which works by clockwork that costs $500. There’s a— But that’s too terri- ble to talk about. The Chinese instru- ments, by the way, are a million times crueler than the Siamese.”—New York Press, Sanson and Louis XVI. Three letters written by Sanson, the executioner of the “terror,” are printed In the Paris Gaulois. One of the most interesting of them is short enough to be quoted in full: “Citizen—I have just learnt that the rumour is current that I am selling or causing to be sold locks of the hair of Louis Capet. If any have in fact been sold, this abominable trade can only have been carried on by impostors. The truth is that I have not allowed any one in my house to carry away even the smallest relic.” Sanson, it appears, had in his private capacity much sympathy with the king whose head it was his duty in his professional capacity to cut off. In another letter he attributes the courage with which he met his death to the firmness of his religious principles, and when he himself died in 1806 he bequeathed money to pay for masses for his victim's soul. Evolution. In the days when the higher educa- tion of women provoked more discus: sion than it does at the present time a number of Cambridge university men, among them Arthur Clement Hilton, ‘who was born a wit and died a clergy- man, were discussing the establish- ment of women’s colleges. Hilton, says his biographer, Sir Robert Edgecumbe, expressed himself in favor of the move- ment. “Of course,” he said, “when women get their degrees they will not be bach- elors, but spinsters of art, and then after awhile they will proceed to the degree of M. A.—ma.” His Distinction. A solemn funeral procession, slowly wending its way up the slope from the church to the grave, was intercepted by the old verger, who, pulling his forelock in the usual rustic style, ad- dressed the clergyman, whispering in a confidential manner: “Please, sir, corpse’s brother wishes to speak to yer!”—London Tit-Bits. A Nautical Secret. Passenger—What makes this boat pitch s0? Sailor—That's a nautical se- cret, ma’am, that we don’t like to give away; but, seein’ it’s you, I don’t mind tellin’ you that it’s the waves.—San Francisco Call. He Wanted to Know. The Employer (coldly)—Why are you 80 late? The Suburbanite (guiltlly)— There were two wrecks on the track this morning, and— The Employer for the veterinary.” — New Orleans Times-Democrat. (testily)—~Who was the other one? — el [3 TSEH PN TOTE S T Held Down the Speaker. The sanctity of the speaker is an in- violable law of parliamentary England, yet once the necessities of the nation were S0 great that an assault and bat- tery had to be made upon his sacred person. It was in the third parliament of Charles 1. that the angry commons framed their petition of rights. This cut at the very root of the king’s pre rogative, and among those in the house who opposed it was Mr. Speaker. Upon Sir John Elliott moving its acceptance the speaker essayed to leave the chalr, which would, of course, have proved fatal to the bill. But they were ready for him, and Hollis and Valentine selz- ed him, one on each side, and literally held him in the chair until the for- mality of the reading was over. So vital -was the petition considered that Cromwell said in the lobby afterward, “Had we been defeated I should have left Bingland tonight.”—London Chroni- cle. Undodgeable Taxes. “In the past,” said the tax assessor, “governments were wiser. They levied There was, for instance, the English birth tax of the seventeenth century. A laborer paid 2 shillings as birth tax; a duke pald £30. You couldn’t get round it. “Burials were - taxed, according to the station of the dead, from a shilling to £25. That,.too, could not be dodged. “Marrilages were taxed. A duke to marry paid £50; a common person, lke yoursgelf, paid half a crown. “In those days you paid a tax on every servant, on every dog, on every horse, on your carriage, your hearth, your windows, watches, clocks, wigs, hair powder, plate, ribbons, bricks, coal, gauze and candles.”—Cincinnati Enquirer. A Madman's Strange Belief. An unfortunate maniac was confined in one of the Scottish lunatic asylums, i his particular infirmity being an un- shakable belief that every day was i Christmas day and that he was din- ing sumptuously on turkey or roast beef -and a good slice of plum pud- ding. His real diet, however, was of the plainest, he being served twice dally with a dish of oatmeal porridge. After daily describing to his attendants the pleasures he had tasted in his cut of turkey or what not he as regularly added, “Yet, somehow or other, every- thing that I eat tastes of porridge.” This story it was which gave rise to the saying, “As palatable as the mad- man’s porridge.” 8ome Famous Salt Lakes. The Dead sea is forty miles long and nine miles wide. The Great Salt lake 18 seventy miles long and eighty miles wide, the largest body of brine in the world. There Is evidence to show that once the Great Salt lake was at least 850 miles in length and 150 in width, nine times its present area. The Dead sea contalns about 24 per cent of sol- ids, one-third of which is pure salt, while of the 23 per cent of solid mat- ter in the waters of Great Salt lake nearly all Is salt. SIMPLE WASH;CURES ECZEMA. Itching, Burning Skin Disease Routed Without Use of In- jurjous Drugs. Great inventors often have been praised for surrendering the secrets of their discoveries. Pratically the same thing happened in the medical world in the case of Dr. Decatur_D. Dennis, the eminent skin specialist of Chicago. Dr. Denuis, in his own office prac- rice, discovered that pure vegetable oil of wintergreen, properly mixed with other simple remedies was practically a sure specific for Eczema, psoriasis, barber’s itch, salt rheum, and other itching skin diseases. But the oil of wintergreen alone was found ineffective. It required other wild ingredients such as glycerine and thymel compounded with' the wintergreen, to produce the real eczema cure. This compounded D. D. D. Pre- scription positiveli itakes away the itch at once—the instant it is ap- plied to the skin. This vegetable liquid does away with deleterious drugs solong used in an attempt to doctor the blood. Whereas modern science has determined that eczema is first and all the time a skin dis- ease. If you want to know more about the famous D. D. D. Prescription, call at our store. We vouch for this remedy. Nature’s Vengeance: Pliny informs us that twelve clties in Asia Minor, were swallowed up In one night. In the year 115 the city of Antioch and a great part of the adja® cent country were buried by an earth gquake. About 300 years after it was again_ destroyed, along with 40,000 in- habitants, and after an interyal of six-| ty years was a third time overturned ‘with the loss of not less than 60,000 souls. - In 1692 the city of Port Royal. in Jamaica, was destroyed by an earth- quake, and the houses sank into a gull forty fathoms deep. In-1693 an earth quake occurred in Sicily which either destroyed or greatly damaged fifty- four cities. The city of Catalonia was utterly overthrown, 19,000 inhabitants of the city perishing in the ruins. Iu 1755 Lisbon was destroyed by an earthquake, and it buried under Its ruins above 50,000 inbabitants. In Au- gust, 1822, two-thirds of the city ot Aleppo, containing a population of 200, 000, were destroyed by an earthquake Thirty thousand of its inhabitants were buried In the ruins. Whistler’s Odd Ways. Lord Redesdale once gave a descrip: Why Walk With Disease as Your Companion? Awful Dangers That Ifll}_!g Kidney Troubles? % are more gerous and give less warning than others that affect the human system. If there is any tendency towards this ailment, lose no time, a8 the disease will make rapid progress when once under way. These are the symptoms: Rush of blood fo the Head, Backache, Weak Back, Raeuma- tism, Diabetes, Bright’s Disease, Gravel. Irritation of the Bladder, Scalding of the Urine-and Swelling of the Ankles. HY- ZON COMPOUND, the Great Blood, Kid- ney, Catarrh and Rheumatic Tonlé, has a_direct and specific action in all forms of Kidney, Bladder and Urinary Trou- ble, It is a remedy that builds up the system; which gives the Kidneys strength to cast off the peisonous mat- - ter from the blood, thus stopping the cause of the disease. Every man cau live to be a Hundred years ~old! Then why “Walk With Death” at Forty, Sixty or Seventy years? Chief Chemist Wiley of the Uniteéd States Department of Agriculture in a recent talk to the graduating class of the Case School of Applied Science, sai “Eve) man can live to be a Hundred years old. 1t is a rank disgrace for any man to dle except from old age” * * The present generation is going to live long, for it knows more sbout the laws of health than ever was known- hefore.” Men of Sciemce have made no discov- ery in ancient or modern times of such taxes that could not be sworn off. tion of Whistler's methods to.a” meet- vast importance to the health and happi- S Supporxta Sy ai £ the true basis of amimal lifes Fuwrrrxmnutmcefi‘ast ki reg%t ist. as paint- scovery of the true basis of animal life—of Vitality. a1 s basis ;lal toithe g;ent i s; it eozv o] pl a of life is contained in HY-ZON COMPOUND is now acknowledged, and no ng, he said, a portrait of a lady one medical discovery is contributing more to the uplifting of physical Whistler took up his position at one main—to tthe tmese;vainfi‘ o; yg“thzt%he cglmf%rt % old age;&o_ théo de- 5 velopment of perfect Manhood and Womanhood, than HY-ZON M- end of the room- with his sitter and the| 5oL Grea Blood, Kidney, Caterrh and Hamimori o Lo . oou: canvas at the other end. For a long edy tmfxtx}:im;é(dtx-c»uhles grrests the ?lgense,t:ven trl;?ugh it has destroyed time he stood looking at his model most of the Kidneys, and preserves intact, that portion not yet destroyed. HY-ZON COMOPUND neutralizes thi holding in his hand a bhuge brush full neutralizes the poisons that forms a toxine that of color, such a brush as a man would use to whitewash a house. Then he destroys the cells in the Kidneys. h he br rustied forward.and, smashed fhe prash ihing. Address: HY-ZON REMEDY CO., 7531 Tower Ave., Superior, Wik 1 e canvas. Then he Pt wald fatty an. A6ty timea e WHICH OF THESE HY-ZON REMEDIES DO YOU NEED ? ran back, aud forty or y times Ev.zen COMPQUND, Great Blood, Catarrh and Rheumatic Toni ce $1.00, repeated - this. At the end of that [Y-ZON RESTORATIVE, Woman's Greatest Remedy—Price $r.00, HY-ZON SANATIVE WASH, for Ulceration, Inflammation of the Musous Me e $x.00, time there stood out on the canvas a e HYZON MEDICATED SOAT, » Sk 04 Congleron Besbbacs bos i i 4 % 3 Skin fon 5 s ¥ e space which exactly Indicated the fig: i ‘er, the World's Famous Green Soap—Price 15c, ure, the form and the expression of Z FOR SALE AT the sitter. There was a pathetic storr 2 attaching to the pictuve. The bailiffe THE OWL DRUG STORE were In the house when the plcture| POST OFFICE CORNER was finished. That was quite a com- mon occurrence, and Whistler only laughed, but he went round his studic with a knife and deliberately destroyed all his canvases, including this picture, which was to have been his (Lord Redesdale’s).—Dundee Advertiser. ‘WALKING WITH DEATH. ", Guaranteed under the Pure Food and Drugs Act, June 3, 160, No. o777, HY-ZON COMPOUND, Great Blood, Catarmh-and Rheumatic Tonic, pice $1.000 botie. WHil oy Obr HorrZ Trmeony < mmOUND, Sreat shippéd n plaia box—express charges prepaid,* No ree samples. *Never shipped. Cu O, D * Testimonials hever psed. " lustrated Book on Blood Taint A Demon Incamate” mailed free on request, This book Expiatas everys BEMIDJI, IMINN Ridney=€Eftes cure Backache CThe Leader of them HIl Pl.-icc. }s ze.ntg wiveome e |OW] Drug Store, Bemidij, Minn. “What did you do with my ther- — — mometer?” demanded the doctor who : z S had been called in to attend one of the freaks. “I swallowed it, doc,” answered the glass eater. “Thought it was my med- icine.”—Pittsburg Press. Confusing English. “I see one of our battleships reported fast in the mud.” “Well ?* “I was just thinking that a ship fast in the mud ought to be a record break- er on the open sea.”—Pick-Me-Up. The Dialy Pioneer 40c per Month Money Makes Egotists. Money 1s a sort of creation and gives the acquirer even more than the pos- sessor an imagination of his own pow- er and tends to make him idolize self. —Cardinal- Newman, P ) Conquering Temptation, P e To conquer temptation you must live 8 '*§ ) | . it down alone, as you must die alone. | % & - < = and no vicarious gift of strength can pesrsc s e wi- | O] Drug Storce, Bemidji, Minn. e —————————————————————————— Printing | The Pioneer [ Printery Is Equipped with Modern” fMachinery,” ' Up-to-date Type Faces, and the Largest Stock of . Barker’s Drug Store. |- Flat Papers, Ruled Goods and Stationery of All Kieds in Northern” Minnesota. We nhaveT'the Thighest-salaried] Printers in Beltra;ml:county,fand:. we. are’leaders in Commercial Printing,” Try us; we'll Suit you. e Pioneer Printery =