Bemidji Daily Pioneer Newspaper, March 2, 1908, Page 2

THE BEMIDJI DAILY PIONEER PUBLISHED NVERY AFTMRNOON, A A A A A A A A A A AN OFFICIAL PAPER---CITY OF BEMIDJI BEMIDII PIONEER PUBLISHING CO. CLYDE J. PRYOR | A, 0. RUTLEDGE, Business Manager Managing Editor Tutered In the postoffice at Bomidil. Mint., s second class matter. SUBSCRIPTION---$5.00 PER ANNUM A CREDITABLE PUBLICATION. . We are in receipt of Volume I, No. I, of the Shevlin Herald, the new publication launched on the turbu- lant sea of journalism by Iver Krohn of Shevlin, The paper presents a very neat appearance. The type is all new and up-to-date and the paper is printed in a very creditable manner. In announcing the advent of the Herald, Mr. Krohn says: *“T'he Shevlin Herald shall be pub} lished for the benefit and welfare of not only Shevlin and Clearwater county but for the northwestern part of Minnesota in general. We humbly - ask to be adopted into the great family of journals, we beg critics to be as lenient as possible with the youngest of infant publications and extend to us the glad hand of fellow- ship, as we have no axe to grind, — ‘and we will at all times strive our best to put forth all our power and energy to the upbuilding of Shevlin and Clearwater county.” Mr. Krohn makes a fine beginning with his paper, and if he at all times s lives up to the standarn set above, he will undoubtedly make a big success of the Herald. Here’s hoping Mr. Krohn will will realize large returns from his newspaper venture, OBSERVATIONS. [By “Doc”1 A fool at forty may have known it all at twenty. Some silence may be golden, but much of it is ironical. It is possible to smile and smile and be a hypocrite still. Wise woman get their rights with- out talking about them. Why do people who pick quarrels always select such ugly ones? The grey matter in a melancholy person’s head must be a dark blue. Scientists claim to have discovered the murder germ in hard cider. The suicide germ was long ago discovered P in hard times. Another leap year problem is whether Miss Democracy will have the nerve to shake her ‘‘steady” just for the novelty of proposing to —_ another. A scientist contends that man is merely an evolutoin of the fish. Cer- tainly one has to be caretul or some body in the neighborhood will throw the hooks into them. The Right Place. A aignified elderly gentleman riding ; on a traln was annoyed by a boy sit- ting across the aisle. The boy had just finished his breakfast and was amus- ing himself by laughing at the old gentleman. Presently the latter lean- ed over and sald to the boy’s mother: “Madam, that child should be spank- od.” “T know 1t,” sald she, “but I don’t believe in spanking a child on a full stomach.” “Neither do 1,” sald he. “Turn him over.” Appropriate. The Monument Man (after several abortive suggestions)—How would sim- ply “Gone home” do? Mrs. Newweeds —I guess that would be all right. It i was always the last place he ever thought of golng.—Puck. A5 Winning Her Attention. “My wife never pays any attention to what I say.” “Mine does—sometimes.” “How do you manage 1t?” “I talk In my sleep.”—London Opin- i fon. Got What He Liked. Host~Why on earth did you put poor Jenkins between two such chatter- { boxes at the table? Hostess—Why, = fear, you know he s so fond of tongue sandwiches! I _ | | Chiefly the mold of a man’s fortune B in his own hands.—Bacon. | Standards. 1 Sho—Men and women can't be judg- ] ed by the same standards. For fin- | stance, 8 man is known by the com- pany he keeps. He—And a woman by the servants she can’t keep.—Judge. Time to Get Busy. “But life has no bright sidel” walled the pessimist. *“Then get busy and polish up the dark side,” rejoined the optimist.—Chi- cago News. One of the most rare kinds of cour- age Is the courage to wait.—St. Louis G'~be-Democrat. Right to the Point. “The following letter,” said a travel- ing man, “was received by a friend of mine who drumming up trade ‘in New England for a New York necktie house: We have received your letter with expense account. \What we want Is or- der We have big families to make expenses for us. We find in your ex- pense account 50 cents for billiards. Please dow’t buy any wmore billiards; also we sec § for horse and buggy. Where is the horse, and what did you do with the bug; The rest of your expense account is nothing but bed. Why is it you don’t vide more in the nighttime? **John says you should stop in Bos- ton, where his cousin George Moore lives. John says you should sell Moore a good bill. Give good prices—he Is John's cousin. Sell him mostly for cash; also John says you can leave Boston at 11:45 in the night and get to Concord at 4:35 in the morning. Do this and you wou't need any bed. And, remember, what we want is orders.’ ” Trading as a Fine Art. Yy store In Nelson, Lanca- shire, was managed by a collier's wife. One night the good woman was com- pelled to leave the shop for a short tlme In charge of her husband, giving him full instructions how to act and especially cautloning him that in the event of a customer presenting a jar or pot and asking for treacle, jam or pickles he “must be sure and weigh th’ pot.” Full of confidence, the collier install- ed himself behind the counter. In a short time a lad ran into the shop and piped out: “I want two pound o’ pickles fur mi faythur, and here’s th’ pot.” The good man carefully weighed the pot and exclaimed: “Nay, lad, th' pot weighs enough bowt pickles, but I'll gi’ thi one or two anyway.’—Liverpool Mercury. The First American Duel. In the year 1630 occurred the first duel known to have taken place on American soil. The principals, Edward Doty and Edward Leister, were serv- ants of a Mr. Hopkins, one of the New England colonists. The men had quar- reled over some trifiing matter and re- sorted to the field for its settlement. ‘The affair was stopped by the authori- tles, but not before one had been wounded in the thigh and the other in the hand. There was no law covering such matters, but the governor of the province decided that the men should be punished nevertheless. At his or- ders they were sent to have their heads and feet tled together and lie in that condition twenty-four hours without food or drink. They suffered so much, however, that they were released at the end of an hour. His Apprenticeship. “Yes,” said Mr. Pater, with ill con- cealed pride, “my youngest boy makes some smart remarks at times. Only re- cently he asked me what it meant to be an apprentice, I told him that it meant the binding of one person to an- other by agreement and that one per- son so bound had to teach the other all he could of his trade or profession, ‘while the other had to watch and learn how things were done and had to make himself useful in every way possible.” “What did he say to that?" asked one of the audience. “Why, after a few minutes the young rascal looked up at me and said, “Then T suppose you're apprenticed to mother, aren’t you, dad? "—London Answers. Herbert Spencer and the Puddles. On no one occasion was Herbert Spencer known to ride when going to a dinner, yet so carefully did he guard himself against the chance of soiling his dress shoes that he habitually car- ried a bundle of old newspapers under his arm. These were for the purpose of being dropped, one by one, into each mud puddle he might encounter on crossing the street. By the time he reached his destination the store of pa- pers was exhausted. Muddy shoes on the return walk did not matter to him in the least.—London Caterer. For Emergencies. A barking reserve Is for use, not merely for show. It is for use in times of emergency. Yet some bankers look upon their reserves very much as the superintendent of a hospital regarded its emergency bed. A patient all bang- ed up In an accident was brought to the hospital one night and was told that there was no room for him. “Why not put him in the emergency bed?” it was suggested. “If we put him in the emergency bed,” It was replied, “then we would have no emergency bed.’— ‘Wall Street Journal. A Clever Scheme. Mother (examining school report)— How did you come to have such good marks in arithmetic this week? Tom- my—Well, you see, it was this way: We had ten examples a day, and I got the teacher to help me to do five, and Eric Jones got her to help him on the other five. Then we swapped helps. See?—Harper's. Impartial. “Mz. Scatterton prides himself on being strictly impartial.” “Yes,” answered the unamiable man. “I once went shooting with him. He didn’t seem to care whether he hit the rabbit, the dog or one of his friends.” The Dangerous Case. One of the surgeons of a hospital asked an Irish help which he consid- ered the most dangerous of the many cases then in the hospital. *That, sir,” sald Patrick as he pointed to a case of surgical instruments. Man’s wrinkled face is the original time table.—Dallas News. Self Composed. She—He is a person of perfect ease and possession and is thoroughly at home anywhere. He—Yes, he even has the faculty of making you feel a total stranger in your own house.—London Tit-Bits. Fear and Danger. Nervous Old Lady (to deck hand on steamboat) — Mr. Steamboatman, is there any fear of danger? Deck Hand (carelessly)—Plenty of fear, ma’am, but not a bit of danger, _ S 2 r— When Actors Play to ‘Actors. “When he (Henry Irving) engaged me to play Ophelia in 1878 he asked me to g0 down to Birmingham to see the play, and that night I saw what I shall always conslder the perfection of act- Ing. It had been wonderful in 1874; in 1878 it was far more wonderful,” wrote Ellen Terry in McClure’s. “It has been said that when be had the ‘advantage’ of my Ophelia bis Iamlet ‘improved.’ I don’t think so. IHe was always quite Independent of the people with whom he played. The Birmingham night he knew I was there. He played—I say it without vanity—for me. We players ave not above that weakness, If it be a weakuness. If ever anything inspires us to do our best it is the presence in the audience of some fellow artist who must, in the nature .of things, know more completely than any one what we intend, what we do, what we feel. The response from such a member of the audience flles across the footlights to us like a flame. [ felt it once when 1 played Olivia before Eleanora Duse. 1 felt that she felt it once when she play- ed Marguerite Gautier for me.” The Topsyturvydom of Religion. At the opening of King Edward VIL's first parliament he had to repect after the lord chancellor an oath which con- demned in almost brutal words all things papistical. Yet held aloft by a Protestant peer for all Protestants to reverence was a veritable emblem of papal supremacy—a quaint little bon- net of crimson velvet turned up with ermine. This is the cap of mainte- nance, and so sacred is it that no hands but royalty may finger it. Thus the premier marquis, whose hereditary right it is to carry it, balanced it some- what after the fashion of a conjurer upon a white staff. This cap was granted to Henry VIIL. by Pope Leo X. In the middle ages it was held as symbolic of the overlord, only being granted to vassals and feudatories whom the lord wished to honor, so that it implies as nothing else could the su premacy of the pope over the kings of England.—London Standard. What Makes the Heart Biat? Professor Jacques Loeb, the celebrat- ed biologist, in his book, “Dynamics of Living Matter,” has shown that a strip cut from the ventricle of the heart put in a solution of chloride of sodium will continue to beat for a number of days, until putrefaction sets in. He says this can be done with an ordinary muscle after it has been ex- tirpated from the body. This would tend to prove that the heart is a chem- leal machine and that it is all due to chemical action. The muscular con- traction is probably due to the substi- tution of sodium for calcium salts in the cells of the muscles. The difficulty of this theory is that it does not explain the control of the muscles. It is plain that the problem of control Is not solved by the chem- ical theory. A Fair Chance. Dressed in the latest and most ap- proved motor cycling costume, with goggles all complete, the motor cyelist gayly toot-tooted his way by Regent’s park toward the zoo. Suddenly he slackened, dismounted and said to a small, grubby urchin: “I say, my boy, am I right for the 200?” The boy gasped at so strange a sight and thought it must be some new ani- mal for the gardens. “You may be all right if they have a spare cage,” he said when he could find his tongue, “but you'd ha’ stood a far better chance if you'd 'd a tail”—Lon- don Answers. Lewis Carroll’s Humor. An English magazine gives some amusing pieces of Lewis Carroll’s hu- mor from the forgotten pages of Ox- ford pamphlets. During the election at Oxford In 1865 he gave vent to the fol- lowing Euclidean definition: “Plain su- perficiality is the character of a speech in which, any two points being taken, the speaker is found to lie wholly with regard to those two points.” A note is also given on the right appreciation of examiners: “A takes in ten books and gets a third class; B takes in the ex- aminers and gets a second. Find the value of the examiners in terms of books, also their value in terms when no examination is held.” Solicitous. An old lady unaccustomed to travel- ing innocently seated herself in a- first class carriage, although she only had a third class ticket. The guard, think- ing she had made a mistake, popped his head into the carriage and inquired, ‘“Are you first class, ma’am?” “No, sir, not altogether,” she replied, “but much brighter than I was, thank you.”—London Scraps. Cause For Worry. “Did you have a good time at your musical 7 “No,” answered Mr. Cumrox. “Ev- ery time the band played anything I enjoyed I got worried for fear it wasn’t classical enough to be the money's worth.”—Washington Star. Willing to Help. “I suppose old Cashman has more money than he knows what to do with?” “Yes, but his wife and daughters are ready to supply the needed informa- tion.” J A Martyr. “Mamma. have I got to take a bath tonight?” ~ “I'm afrald you have, my dear.” “But I haven’t done anything all the week to deserve it.”—New York Life. The Force of Habit. A certain accountant is so devoted to his profession that when he has noth- 1ing else to do he casts up his eyes. The Poet’s Son. “Why, Freddy, how dirty you are, and only yesterday you wrote a verse for papa’s birthday, promising always to wash your hands clean.” “Well, mamma, that was only a poetic license.”—Fliegende Blatter. Asserting Himself. He—WIill you be my wife? She—The idea! Don’t be ridiculous. He—Yes, 1 know it sounds ridiculous; but, then, T'm not so particular as some men are —Boston Transcript. Life In Christiania. Many of the residences of Christiania stand villa-like In the midst of pretty gardens, which in summer are full of bloom and give the streets a peculiar charm and sense of openness. Within, the people live simple, wholesome lives, kindly and hospitable, with that truest hospitality which invites the guest to share In good cheer without ostentation or display. Dinner is at 3 or 4 o'clock, served by trim, fresh looking maids, and supper at 8, where, except on forme al occasions, the guest is free to forage around the table for himself. Host and hostess drink the health of each guest with the word “skaal,” replied to by the eyes over the glass after drink- Ing. Adjourning to the drawing room, the guests thank both master and mis- jtress of the house, and on the next meeting never fail to say, “Thanks for the last time.” One is everywhere struck by the frank and unaffected sim- plicity of the life and the straightfor- ward kindliness of the people.—H. H. D. Peirce in Atlantic. Dread of Marble Portraits. “One pecullarity of human nature that I am reminded of daily,” sald a sculptor, “is the disinclination of the average man to look upon himself te- produced in marble. The sight strikes him with positive dread. It makes him feel as if he were looking on his own lifeless body. For that reason it is difficult to persuade many persons worth modeling to sit for a sculptor. Frequently I am asked why most of my work is modeled after dead and gone subjects. The answer is that liv- ing people refuse to give me a commis- slon. The art of the sculptor differs there from that of the painter. Every- body likes to be painted. The sight of one’s face, one’s figure, one’s clothes, in a picture evokes nothing but pleasura- ble emotions if well done, but to see oneself carved out of marble produces such an overpowering sense of death that many sensitive persons put off im- mortalization at the hands of a sculp- tor until they are really dead.”--New York Press. His Brothers. At the usual monthly petty sessions court held in a certaln provincial town some weeks ago the following incident occurred: One of the local police constables had summoned a neighboring farmer on a charge of “having a number of asses .wandering at will on the public road.” The defendant failed to appear, but his brother was present in the person of the clerk of petty sessions, who on hearing the sentence of the presiding magistrate, “Fined 2s. 2d. and costs,” rose to the occasion by replying: “They’re my brother’s, your worship. I'll pay the fine.” He was shocked when his becoming exhibition of fraternal love for the asses was rewarded with an outburst of laughter.—London Graphic. Where the Shoe Pinched. It was easy for Mr. Randall to bear with his wife’s remarkable decision of character at all times, but her obstl- nacy he found most difficult to endure. “I can’t quite comprebend her,” he confided to his brother after one try- ing experience. “Many years as we have been married, she still-surprises me. Why, all in the same day, some- times in the same hour, she will settle {a disturbance in the kitchen, put the children just where they belong, adjust some matter in the church and then, when ber judgment ought to be at its best, display the most astounding ob- stinacy in attempting to regulate my goings out or comings in. It's—it's in- comprehensible.” Moslem Prayer Rugs. Prayer rugs were evidently invented for the purpose of providing the wor- shipers with one absolutely clean place on which to offer prayers. It is not lawful for a Moslem to pray on any place not perfectly clean, and unless each one has his own special rug he 18 not certain that the spot has not been polluted. It does not matter to these followers of Mohammed how unclean a rug that is on the floor may be, because over it they place the prayer rug when their devotions begin. An Eye Experiment. The two eyes really see two objects. If the two forefingers be held, one at the distance of one foot, the other two feet In front of the eyes, and the for- mer be looked at, two phantoms of the latter will be observed, one on each side. If the latter figure be regarded, two phantoms of the nearest finger ‘will be observed mounting guard, one on either side. Answered. Two ministerial candidates named Adam and Low preached in a Scottish church. Mr. Low preached in the morning and took for his text, “Adam, where art thou?” He made a most excellent discourse, and the congregation was much edi- fled. In the evening Mr. Adam preach- ed and took for his text, “Lo, here 1 am!” His Economy. Father—It’s only fair to tell you that I'm pleased with your economy this term. Your requests for money were too frequent last term. Son—Yes, fa- ther, 1 thought so, too, so this term Tve had everything on tick.—London Tit-Bits. Lucky. Smith—Just missed running down an old lady with my auto. Jones—Bah Jove, you're a lucky dog! Smith— Bure. I just had it painted last week. —Chicago News. Little F8od. Student—Something is preying on my mind. Professor W.—It must be very hungry.—Yale Record. “Don’t buy that pig,” sald the older butcher hastily. “Why not?” asked the younger man. “Look at his tail” was the reply. “See how loose it hangs, like the tail of a rat. That'is a sign that the ani- mal is in bad health. “You can read a plg's condition by its tail. The tighter it is curled the fitter is the pig. And when the tail hangs straight, as this one does, the pig ought to take to his bed and send for the veterinary.” — New Orleans Times-Democrat. L — Cow—— e A Curious Cipher Code. Prisoners confined in different parts of jail often use cipher codes in com- municating with one another. In the Kansas City jail some years ago the officials came across a hard one. A fellow named Turner, in for forgery, lnvented the puzzle.” The writing was on long narrow strips of paper, on the edge of which were letters and parts of letters that apparently had no con- nection and from - whith no words could be formed. One day a deputy ‘who was passing the cell of a prisoner saw him passing a long.strip of paper around an octagon lead pencil. He took the paper away, and on it were the mysterious scrawls that had wor- rled the keepers. But the.deputy got an idea from this, and, going back to the office, he wrapped the strip around an octagon shaped lead pencil and after several trials adjusted it so that the parts of the letters fitted together and made a sentence, though the writ- Ing was very fine. The writer had adopted the simple but ingenious plan of covering the pencil with paper and had then written along one of the flat sides. On unrolling it the writing was as mystical as a cryptogram, but when put around the pencil as it was origi- nally it could be easily understood. Why. There is something almost plaintive in the truly English word “why.” It may be indefinitely prolonged upon the lips. “Why” is almost poetical In it- self and fitly introduces the best hex- ameter in the language: “Why do the heathen rage and the people imagine a vain thing?” Its uses in poetry are almost infinite, and one modern’ writer makes almost a line of it alone: ‘Why do the night winds sigh, The sea birds wildly cry, The summer clouds pass by, The lilles droop and dle, The light fade from the sky? ‘Why—oh, why? To most of the whys there is not a good because. The inquiring mind is puzzled to account for many things besides its own existence. Hundreds of such questions occur to us at every step, and no satisfactory reply can be expected. Life is too short. Socrates was always saying “Why,” and we have all heard of the man who called Pope the “little crooked thing that asked questions.”—Exchange. The Man Who Told the Tale. It happened on a Pullman car be- tween New York and Chicago. Dinner having been finished, the gentlemen assembled in the smoking room to en- joy their cigars. “During the time I was in the war,” sald the qulet man, “I saw a very wonderful thing in the line of surglcal operations. A friend of mine was shot through the right breast, the bullet passing clear through him. The pres- ence of mind of his companion un- doubtedly saved his life. He wrapped his handkerchief around the ramrod of his gun and, pushing it through the path made by the bullet, cleared the wound of all poisonous lead. I know It is hard to belleve, but, gentlemen, the man still lives to tell the tale.” “Which man?” inquired the slim pas- senger on the other seat quietly. “The wounded one, of course,” ex- claimed the old soldier scornfully. “Oh, I beg your pardon. I thought it might be the other.” 2 Printing The Pioneer Printery Is Equipped with Modern Machinery, Up-to-date Type Faces, and the Largest Stock of Flat Papers, Ruled Goods and Stationery of All Kirds in Northern] Minnesota. We have the highest-salaried Printers in Beltram county, and we are leaders in Commercial Printing. Try us; we’ll Suit you. Pioneer Printery e Pioneer Advertising Reaches the People. Advertisements printed in the Bemidji Pioneer are read by more people than if published in any other three news- papers combined printed in Beltrami county. The Pioneer has three times the circulation of any Beltrami county competitor, and contains more local, county and state news, hence our adver- tising space brings larger returns. We Court Investigation BEMIDJI PIONEER. i