Bemidji Daily Pioneer Newspaper, November 21, 1907, Page 2

. FRIEND TO FRIEND. The personal recommendations of peo- ple who have been cured of coughs and colds by Chamberlain’s Cough Remedy have done more than all else to make it a staple article of trade an'l commerce oves < large part of the civilized world, Barker’s Drug Store THE BEMIDJI DAILY PIONEER PUBLISHED NVERY AFTNRNOON, OFFICIAL PAPER---CITY OF BEMIDJI BEMIDJI PIONEER PUBLISHING CO. GLYDEJ PRYOR | A, G RUTLEDGE, Business Manager Managing Editor Wntered in the postoffice at Bemidjl. Minn., as second class matter. SUBSCRIPTION---85.00 PER ANNUM —_— f The Doctor’s Imagination. “T have a good story on one of Wash Ington's best known oculists,” said a prominent club addressing some friends in the billiard room of the Met- ropolitan club. “My eyes had trou- bled me for some months, and finally 1 went to see the doctor about them. “After a thorough examination he said that the muscles were badly strained, and then he gave me a pre- ecription for drops to be used in my eyes three times a day. When I left he gave me an appointment for that day week, as he said he could not ex- amine my eyes for glasses untll they were In their normal condition. “Well, I mislaid that blessed pre- scription, and as I was particularly busy that week I had no time to get mnother copy. So in some trepldation I kept my second appointment. “As the doctor examined my eyes 1 hesitated a moment about telling him 1 had not used the drops, when he took the words out of my mouth and the breath out of my body by remarking with pleased emphasis: “‘Your eyes are very much Iim- proved. That medicine which I gave you Is certalnly wonderful. It always has such prompt and satisfactory re- sults. “It was all I could do to keep silent,” concluded the speaker, laughing. “But I wasn't quite sure how he would take the joke. You see, he may not have a sense of humor.”—Washington Star. Comets In Olden Days. People nowadays do not regard the comet as one of those signs that fore- run the death or fall of kings, but the superstition was still current in the time of Queen Elizabeth, though, to the amazement of her courtlers, the queen calmly scorned it. It was also thought that if the soverelgn would re- frain from looking at the malignant celestial passerby no harm would come to her. On one occasion Elizabeth's attendants shut and curtained her win- dows, but her majesty, as might have been expected, with “a courage an- swerable to the greatness of her es- tate,” caused them to be opened, cry- ing as she looked up: “Jacta est alea— the die is cast!” Then, like King Knut on the seashore, she read her people a homily, asserting that her “steadfast hope and confidence were too firmly planted in the providence of God to be blasted or affrighted with those beams which either had no ground in nature ‘whereupon to rise or at least no war- rant in Scripture to portend the mis- haps of princes.” Queen Elizabeth as an Ale Drinker. There is an amusing letter written by the Earl of Leicester to Lord Bur- leigh as to the lack of sufficiently strong ale for the queen at Hatfleld. “There is not one drop of good drink for her here. We were fain to send to London and Kenilworth and divers other places where ale was. Her own beer was so strong as there was no man able to drink it.” Ale and bread were the chief Items of the royal breakfast. The quantity of ale con- sumed by ladies at breakfast in those days was conslderable, for in the reign of Henry VIII. the maids of honor were allowed for breakfast “one chet loafe, one manchet, two gallons of ale and a pitcher of wine.” A Lady Lucy made a mighty tonic of the national brew. Her breakfast was a chine of beef, a loaf and a gallon of ale, and for her pillow meal a posset porridge, & generous cut of mutton, a loaf and a gallon of ale—Westminster Gazette. 'Twas In Tater Time. The late Senator Platt of Connecticut enjoyed funny stories and could tell a good many himself. Notwithstanding his long public life, he always remem- bered a yarn that he carried from his school days. One’ year when the district schools opened in his town one of the teachers In making a record of the ages of her puplls, as required by law, found that one little girl, who came from a fami- ly not noted for being especlally bright, was unable to say when her birthday came. 8o In order to complete her records the teacher walked two miles to see the girl’s mother one afternoon after school. Asked if she could remember Just when her daughter was born, the woman thought for some little time and then, with a sort of puzzled look, said: “Well, the gal was born in tater time, that's sure, but I can’t ‘member whether they was a-plantin’ on ’em or a-diggin’ on ’em.”—Boston Herald. Sunday Laws of Australia. Melbourne, Australla, has some laws which are wonders. One of them pro- hibits the opening of any cafe on Sun- day before 11 o'clock in the morning, and the unwary American who may not know this finds himself suddenly high and dry without a thing to eat till 11. So he soon learns, if he's in lodgings, to sleep till 11 and then for- age forth. Aunother nice thing that contributes to the hilarity of the Sundays here and the gayety of nations generally 18 that there are no street cars running till after 2 o'clock on Sundays, All the steam roads bring thousands of people into the city, but they have to walk once they are inside the city Umits. And if you buy baker's cakes and ples to be taken away from the prem- {ses you may only buy them between 1 and 3 Sunday afternoons. And you may not invite friends to dinner with you In Sydney, which is In New South Wales and under different jurisdiction, if you are living In a hotel, because in some mysterious way, which is not at all clear, you are breaking the Sun- day law.—New York World. Irish Legal Wits. The mots of the celebrated wits— Harry Deane Grady, Lysaght and Kel- ler—of the Irish bar early in the last century are now in large measure for- gotten. Some few are, however, on record. Harry Deane Grady, a leader of the Munster bar, voted in the Irish house of commons to support the union against the wishes of his constituents, one of whom remonstrated indignantly with him on his intended course of ac- tion. “What, do you mean to sell your country?” “Yes,” was the cool reply, “and very happy I am to have a coun- try to sell.” Ned Lysaght, a celebrated wit and poetaster of the perlod in very embar- rassed circumstances, applied to Mr. La Touche, the well known banker, for a place In his establishment. “What situation, my dear Lysaght, could pos- sibly suit you?” said his friend, who felt himself in a difficulty. “Not only one, but two,” was the. reply. “Pray, what are they?” my dear La Touche, make me cashier for one day I'll become runner the next.”—London Law Notes. What a Woman Did. There is much to be said against the New York cabby, but there are fre- quent occaslons when one is really de- serving of sympathy. The other day a cabby drove a well dressed and re- fined looking woman to a Broadway restaurant, where she ordered an ex- pensive lunch and then told the waiter that she had lost her purse, but that her cab was waiting and if he would send a boy with her she would go home for the money. The boy entered the cab with her, and she directed the cabby to drive to a Sixth avenue de- partment store. When they arrived she left the boy in the cab, entered the store to make an imaginary purchase and went ont at the opposite entrance. In the hope of getting Information about his departed fare, cabby drove back to the restaurant, accompanied by the brass buttoned boy, whom he blackguarded all the way for letting the woman escape. The restaurant people discharged the lad for the same reason, and the driver cried quits.— New York Times. Gladstone Nicknames. g A collection of the nicknames that were from time to time conferred up- on Mr. Gladstone would be a fine die tlonary of epithets alike of love and dislike. Besides such perennials as the Grand Old Man, “the G. O. M.” and the People’s Willlam we recall the Franchise Bill, the Pope of England, Bt. Willlam the Woodcutter, the Mah- dl of Midlothian, the Old Parliamen- tary Hand, the People’s Will, Mr. Mer- rypebble, the Ancient Senator, Youart the Man, Hawarden Bill, Prime Billy, W. G, the Only Willlam and the Old Gentleman. At one time his name was a favorite theme for Christmas cha- rades, among which may be remem- bered the following elegant outburst of a Conservative wit: “I should be my first if I could throw my second at my ‘whole.” The Marble Bible. In 1857 Mindon-min, king of Bur- ma, erected a monument near Manda- lay called the Kutho-daw. There he built 700 temples, in each of which there is a slab of white marble. Upon these 700 slabs is engraved the whole of the Buddhist Bible, a vast literature in itself, equal to about six coples of the Holy Scriptures. This marble Bi- ble is engraved in the Pall language, thought to be that spoken by Buddha himself 500 B. C. Very Likely. “You're a queer. looking thing to want to fight with me,” sald the young bulldog contemptuously. “You're mnot In my class.” “Perhaps not,” replied the porcupine quletly, “but I think I can give you a few points.”—Philadelphia Press. Making Things Even. Customer (to watchmaker) — I told you that my watch lost half an hour every day, and now that you've re- paired it it gains half an hour. Watchmaker — Well, don’t complain. It's only working to catch up lost time. Judicious Charity. “I. don’t belleve he is so miserly as they say. I hear he invites his poor relations to visit him each year.” “Yes. They all live at a considerable distance and are too poor to come.” Sure. Bunday School Teacher—Tommy, can you tell me what caused the flood? Bmall Tommy—Yes, ma’am. It rained Lord Young's Wit. Looking across the table of a public dinner at the overrubicund and fishy eyes of his neighbor opposite, Lord Young, who was a famous lawyer, in- quired who the owner of the vinous countenance might be and was told he was the president of a water trust. “Aye,” saild Lord Young, “Well, he looks like a man that could be trusted with any amount of water!” p Same one told Lord Young, that the house of lords had on appeal od & decision of' his, -“Tt ‘ma; after all”_was “If you will only, | was | | could T Y 8ubduing Mother's Voice. The successful merchant invited his parents to visit him in New York city. They came gladly and on the following Sabbath were escorted to a fashiona- ble church in Fifth avenue. Some of the hymns were familiar. In thelr ren- dition the visiting palr contrlbuted heavily, with the credit for volume in favor of the father. Although not al ways in correct time and sometimes in discord, yet the joy of this good couple leaped forth In joyous pralse, and they did not see the glowering looks of nearby worshipers or the beetlike face of thelr devoted son. “Father,” explalned the merchant that afternoon while his mother was taking her accustomed nap, “In our churches the congregations do very lit- tle singing. It is left entirely to the choir.” “I know, my boy,” sald the old man as he lovingly placed a hand on his son’s shoulder, “that it was very em- barrassing to you this wmornlng, but if I hadn’t sung as loudly as I did the people would have heard your moth er.”—New York Press. Muskrats. Rare old Captain John Smith in his quaint “History of New England and the Summer Isles,” published in Lon: don in 1624, gives probably the first written account of the muskrat. He saya that “the mussacus is a beast of the form and nature of our (English) water rat” and adds that “some of them smell exceedingly strong of| musk.” These animals may be caughi in almost any sort of trap baited with sweet apples or parsnips. Musk: rats have very strong feeth and can use them on wood effectively, so it is wise to protect all corners and cracks in your wooden traps with pleces of tin or sheet iron. They have good| noses and can smell an apple a long distance off. Place your traps in the shallow water at the edge of the mill pond or stream inhabited by these rats, and they will doubtless find it without dificulty. Young muskrats are very gentle and playful and may be handled ‘without fear. They do not grow fierce with age if reared in captivity and ac- customed to gentle treatment. Receiving Tommy. There is a certain inspector of schools who prides himself on his original method of examining, but occasionally his originality receives a shock. In a fatherly manner he had gathered a class of young children round him an¢ soon had their open mouthed atten- tlon., “Now, suppose that you and I were playing a game of marbles,” he sald to little Tommy Jomes. “You have ten marbles and I have eight.” The class gathered closer round. “At the end of the game you have ‘won half of my marbles, and of course I want to play again to win them back.” The children pressed even nearer. YAt the end of the second game 1 win half of those you now have. Tell me"—escitement waxed intense—‘“tel] me,” he continued, “how many mar- bles you are left with?” With a look of inexpressible disgust the boy addressed fell back. *“Why, Billy,” he said, “blowed if it ain’t sums.”—London Answers. Infant Prodigies. In nine out of ten cases your infant prodigy $8 a musician. Among paint- ers the prodigy of prodigles was Sir Thomas Lawrence. One of his earliest pictures, it is said, was produced In 1775, quite early enough, for the love- ly cherub who painted it was then six years old. He was getting on in life, tottering on the verge of twelve, when the quality crowded his studio at Bath. The fates were kind to the in- fant prodigy when they made his fa-| ther landlord of the Black Bull, De- vizes, the inn where fashionable men and women called for rest and refresh- ment on their way to the waters. At the Black Bull the prodigy made his firsf acquaintance with the great world which flattered him In after life and which he flattered on canvas.—St. James’ Gazette. Ing “I'll send, my boy to a boarding school.” “What for?” “Oh, he asks such questions. He wanted to know last night if a shoe maker could breathe his last.” There is nothing so true that the damps of error have not warped it.— Tupper. Vernet and the Veteran, “When Horace Vernet, the - great French palnter of battle scenes, was at the helght of his fame,” said an art- ist, “when the prices he was getting were enormous, a grizzled old veteran came to him one day and sald: ‘I want you to make my picture to send home to my son. What, though, 18 your charge? “““How much are you willing to pay? sald Vernet, smiling. “‘A franc and a half, was the an swer, “ ‘Very good." “And the artist, with a few quick strokes, dashed off a wonderful sketch of the old man. “The o0ld man pald, tucked the sketch under his arm and carried it out tri- umphantly to a comrade who awaited him outside. “‘But I did wrong not to haggle n bit’ Vernet overheard him say. ‘I might have got it for a franc.’” Who Could Pass? To test the spelling capabllities of fifty applicants for junlor clerkships in the offices of the Sydney ‘water and sewerage board they were called upon to write from dictation this paragraph: “This celibate was a licentiate in medl- cine and held other scholastic diplo- mas. His characteristics were idiosyn- crasles personified—one day taclturn, the next garrulous. Today his facile pen evolves a saplent distich in piquant satire of some literary genius; tomor- row an encomiastic effusion on an il- lterate voluptuary. His studies on concrete science were exotic; his re- searches in natural philosophy esoteric if not chimerical.” No less than forty- three out of the fifty candidates came to grief in this artfully designed spell- Ing obstacle race. At the next meet- ing of the board a member doubted whether ten out of fifty Oxford M. A.’s, it suddenly called upon to write out | the same passage, would succeed in ne- gotiating every one of the big words successfully.—London Chronicle. A Queer Servian Belief. To hatch ‘a chicken by holding an egg for the allotted -time in the left armpit is believed in Servia to be a certain charm against violent death, more especially if the bird be swal- lowed whole forty days after it comes to life. A robber who had devastated the * district of Kolubara for many years was, writes a Belgrade corre- spondent, known to have accomplished both these feats, which accounted fer the apathy of the peasants in pursuing him, persuaded as they were of his in- vulnerability. He was finally, how- ever, killed by the mounted police, thus discrediting a time honored Ser- vian superstition, All at Once. He came down to breakfast, and nothing was ready, so he rang the bell. “Mrs. Perkins,” he said when the boarding house keeper appeared, “what Is the meaning of this? Why is break- fast not ready ?” “Well, sir,” replied Mrs. Perkins, “I got a mice bit of fish for you, but I'm sorry to say, sir, the cat’— “Confound the cat! Then let me have the cold chicken.” “I regret to say, sir, the cat”— “Well, then, some eggs.” “There are no eggs, sir; the cat’— “Hang 1t all, then cook the cat, and we'll have it all at once!”—London Mail. Ground Flat. A young man from a country village when sightseeing in Edinburgh was greatly astonished on seeing. “Mr. Smith, Tailor (ground flat),” inscribed on a door and after a careful study of the plate exclaimed: “Great Scott, sic -a death! Shairly he’s been run ower wi’ a steam roller!” —London Graphic. Her Preference. her mind so often that it keeps her talking all the time.—Chicago News. A Clever Manager. The Groom (very wealthy)—Why did you ever marry an ordinary chap like me? The Bride—I haven’t the slightest ldea. Mamma managed the whole af- Calr. SOME STATEMENTS REGARDIN Followers of Cooper and His Novel Ideas Give Reason for Their Belief in Him. With a theory that human health is dependent on the stomach and with a medicine which he says proves this theory, L. T. Cooper, a comparatively young man, has built up an immense) following during the past year, Cooper has visited most of the lead- ing cities of the country, and in each city has aroused a storm of discussion about his beliefs and his medicines. Wherever he has gone, people have called upon him by tens of thousands, and his preparation has sold in im- mense quantities. The sale of this medicine has now spread over the entire country, and is growing enormously each day. In view of this, the following statements from two of the great number of followers which he now has, are of general in- terest. Mrs. Agnes Viggenhouser, of 942 St. Louis Avenue, Chicago, has the follow- ing to say on the subject of the Cooper preparations: “For more than ten years I was broken down in health, I could not sleep and I was very ner- vous. Gradually I began to lose my memory, until I could not remember ‘things from one day to another. I had #evere pains and cramps in my body, and I would at times see dark spots before my eyés, I was unable to do any work wlg;unr. 88 my strength I had lbomm“mnfim f ven up of belng well again when 1 read of Me, 6 NEW THEORY Cooper’s remedies. I declded to give them a trial, and I began to feei better a. once. After taking the medicine for two weeks I can say that I am a new ‘woman, I can eat with enjoyment, the pains in my body have left me, and I am stronger than ‘I have been for years. 3 “I cannot say enough for Mr. Cooper’s remedies. They are wonder- ful, for they lave ‘done everything claimed for them in'my case.”. Another statement by Mr, W. B. Stewart, 109 W. Madison St., Chicago, 18 as follows: “I have had stomach trouble for years, and anyone who is afflicted this way knows what an awful ‘distressed feeling it causes. Many a time I have felt that I would give most any price to be cured. It was by ac- cident that I heard of this man Cooper’s remedies. I immediately made up my mind to buy a treatment of him, ' used it for about two weeks, and it is fmpossible to tell how much good it has done me, I feel altogether different. I have more life and energy: than I have had for years. This med- icine certainly does ,stimulate and strengthen the whole system. Tired feeling and weak condition of the stomach has feel well agal: We gell Cooper’s celebrated medfs. Timid Child (who has just been as- sured of the company of the dngels in the dark room)—Ye-es, but, mummy, 2 couldn't you have the angels and leave me the candle?—Punch. Her Mind. 3 Hilton—My wife is a matter of fact woman. She only speaks her mind. Chilton—So does mine, but she changes Irish Sarcasm, A happy and humorous example of sarcasm as apart from repartee is -af- forded by the following anecdote. 1 quote it on the authority of a friend, who, I am afraid, was the villaln of the Incident: A most imperturbable man was followed from Westmoreland street, Dublin, over the O'Connell bridge to the gendtal postoffice by two little stefet arabs, who impottuned him for the end of Lis cigar. “Throw us fli6 butt, sirl Ah, sir, throw 08 the butt!” cried the youths, but as the man dld not betray the slightest conscious. ness of thelr existence they gave him up at last in despair and disgust. tah, let him alone,” said one, with the most scorching scorn. “Shure, it's a butt he’s picked up himself.” I once heard a bumptious little man, who, acting as steward at athletic sports in Dublin, was very assertive In keeping back the crowd, thus ad- dressed by an angry spectator: “If the consate was taken out of yez, ye'd be oo bigger than a green gooseberry, end ye're as sour as wan already!"— London Standard. Happiness From Troubles. Belng human, happily or unhappily, we cannot deny the comfort to -be found in the reflection that misery never lacks the company it loves. We ell have our troubles, and some of us derive much satisfaction from the con- templation of them. Indeed, there are those who are happy only when wretch- ed, but these we believe to be as few In number as they are disagreeable in assoclation. The vast majority of hu- mans are normal and disposed, there- fore, In conformity with natural law, to smile when the skies are clear and to grieve under the portent of clouds; hence the ease with which worry takes possession of the mind, colors the dis- position and makes a cripple of effort. That causes abound we know and must admit, as we do almost uncon- sclously the certainty of death, but too little cognizance is taken of the fact that the effect of mere apprehen- slon, which is all that worry really is, may be subjected to simple mental treatment and be overcome.—George Harvey in North American Review. TO CURE A COLD IN ONE DAY Take LAXATIVE BROMO QuininelTablets. Druggists refund money it it fails to cure }":. W. GROVE'S signature is on each box. %c. All Kinds of Necks WITH ALL KINDS OF 'Sore Chroat QUICKLY CURED WITH Gar-Gol SIMPLY A GARGLE OR SPRAY ANTISEPTIC HEALING HARMLESS GAR-GOL kas noequal asa throat remed: and is beyond guestion the safest and sures remedy for all kinds of S0RE THEO:E ?nln— 8y, Hoarseness and Tonsilitls. - Gar-Gol is a reventive of Croup, Whooping Cough m}l , purl- iphtheria. An elegant mouth wash fyiag andantiseptio. Price 25c. Prepared by Berg Medicine Co. Des NMoines, Ia. 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That's why Clothcraft gar- ments rarely disappoint, Suits - $10 to $25 Overcoats $10 to $25 Schneider Bros. e Lumber and Building Material We ‘carry in stock at all times a complete line of Lumber and Building Material, Dimensions, etc. Look us up for your winter supply of Coal and Wood We have a large supply St. Hilaire Retail Lbr. Co. BEMIDJI, MINN. cines which have made this wonderfu} record in all parts of the G BN, Fronci 8 oy BLANK BOOKS A large consignment of Day Books, Ledgers,,Cash Books and Journals, have just been received and the stock is com- plete and will give the buyer a good good selection from which to make his choice. MEMORANDUM BOOKS Our line is the most complete assort- . ment in Northern Minnesota. We have books from the very cheapest to the very best leather bound book or cover. BEMIDJI PIONEER Stationery Department ) -~