Bemidji Daily Pioneer Newspaper, November 20, 1907, Page 2

r I —— FRIEND TO FRIEND. The personal recommendations of peo- ple who have been cured of coughs and eolds by Chamberlain's Cough Remedy have done more than all else to make ita staple article of trade and commerce ovez large part of the civilized world. Barker’s Drug Store THE BEMIDJI DAILY PIONEER PUBLISHED NVERY AFTNRNOON, OFFICIAL PAPER---CITY OF BEMIDJI BEMIDJI PIONEER PUBLISHING CO. GLYDE J. PRYOR | A9, RuTLEDGE; usiness Manager Managing Editor Tntered in the postofice at Bemidjl. Minn., s second class matter. SUBSCRIPTION---$5.00 PER ANNUM l Legend of St. Winifred Well. A romantic legend hangs around St. ‘Winifred well. Cradocus, a neighbor- ing prince, smitten with the beauty of a Holywell damsel and roused to anger by her coyness, struck off her head as she fled from his unwelcome attentions, The head, rolling down the hill, rested near the church, and from the spot the present copious spring gushed forth as the earth opened to swallow up the assassin. St. Beuno, who was passing, picked up the head and, with a skill which is now lost to the medical pro- fesslon, restored the malden, with only a slender white line on her neck as evi- @ence of the miracle. But not only did the well spring from the spot where the head rested, but the moss on its brink was supposed to be possessed of a particularly fragrant smell, while the blood marks on the stones assumed many beautiful tints on June 22, the anniversary of the event. Today the well Is contained in a rectangular buflding, and the water flows into a large basin in the shape of an eight polnted star.—London Chronicle. Handling Live Wires. Never handle an electric wire (lest it be “alive”) with the naked hand, but use a nonconducting substance as a protector. Any good nonconducting substance will supply protection. Rubber—In form of gas stove tube or water hose, could be thrown over a wire to pull it from its connection with a live wire. Porcelain—In form of a bit of com- mon crockery or a floor tile, hand plate for door, a stone ink bottle. Glass—A stout bottle, a glass rod or & pane of glass could be used to dis- lodge a wire from its connection with & trolley wire or other current feeder. ‘Wool—A woolen scarf, stocking, coat or wrap. Cotton—Any plece of cotton garment or stout cotton twine. Bllk—Scarf or other garment. Any of these materfals in goodly thickness could be used to protect the hand In removing a live wire or even using an instrument to cut it through. 8pain’s Canny Railroads. In Spain the raflroads do not lose a chance to make a little profit even In the case of the nontravelers. When you see somebody off in that country you must pay for the privilege. The rallroads all sell billetes de anden, which are good for the platform only. These cost generally 5 centlmos, equiv- alent to a cent In American money. Just why this s done it is hard to see, because persons entering a train can- not very well avold the conductor, who 18 always making trips to inspect the carriages. If a person attempted to steal a ride in a carrlage, he would have small chance of getting away with it. If caught, he would have to pay a penalty of just twice the fare between the point where he was dls- covered and the point where tickets last were Inspected.—New York Sun. Ho Had No Choice. The wife of a dynamo tender went to a haberdasher’s to buy a necktie for her husband. She selected a brilliant red one, ready made, whereupon the young and inexperienced salesman, with compassion for the future owner, was moved to remark: “Excuse me, missus, i3 this tle for your husband?” “It 1s,” replied the woman, “Don’t you think he'd rather have some other color? I'm afrald he won’t wear this red tle.” “Oh, yes, he willl” sald the woman firmly. “He’ll have to—he's dead.’— London Answers. _— The Irish Priest. Stephen Gwyun has sald some- Where excellently that the Irish priest Dossesses the secret of Irish life. He does, and so entirely is the key to it in his possession that T doubt if any genlus, however great, could give an adequate rendering of Irish life with- out introducing the priest.—Katherine Tynan in Fortnightly Review. —_— A Discourager. Miss Kreech—Some authorltles be- Beve that the practice of singing will keep a person from getting consump- tlon. Mr. Knox—Yes, but most author- ftles belleve In “the greatest good to the greatest number.” — Philadelphia Press. wrders It. | “How long Is the life of the average r ealled popular song?* *Till the girl who lives next door to ®s gets hold of it."—Houston Post. -gpg. mnmnd defers from day to t it can do without thinking et jost time 19 loat eternity~Mullen, i Overloaded, A United States senator had been Inveighing at a dinner against long speeches, “But, senator,” said a congressman, “you can't accuse me of ever having made too long a speech, can you?" The senator smiled, “Perhaps not,” he sald, “and again— but did you ever hear about the tem- perance lecturer? No? “Well, you must’know that there was a temperance lecturer in Maine who visited Ellsworth and lectured. He hit out pretty hard from the shoul- @er at these so called moderate drink- ors, and at the end of his remarks an Ellsworth man took him aside and said In an aggrieved tone: “‘Look here, Jim, I am a moderate drinker, as all the town knows, and to many people It s going to seem as iIf a good part of your lecture was pointed straight at me. What did you want to do It for, Jim? You never saw me with more on board than I could carry.’ “ ‘What's that? sald the temperance lecturer. *‘You never saw me with a bigger load than I could carry, did you? “The lecturer frowned. “‘Well, no’ he said slowly, ‘but I have seen you when I thought you'd done better to go twice for it." " Wireless Money Lending. One of the most Interesting types on the American track is the professional money lender. Money lending is ab- solutely forbidden, and so the entire transaction must be conducted sub rosa, but if a person who is on goes broke and he has some article of jew- elry of value with him it is easy for him to realize money on it. The lender is an irreproachably dressed person who sits on the grand- utand with the rest of the crowd and is known in his true colors only to the habitues of the track. A man who wants some capital makes an unobtru- sive sign to him and twirls a ring he may be wearing at the time. Shortly afterward both will proceed to a res- taurant, where, for the benefit of on- lookers, they will greet each other as ordinary acquaintances. The exchange is then made over the drink they order; the loan broker has the ring and the bettor his capifal. If the latter cashes in on the next race he will return the money and the agreed upon premium and will receive back his ring.—From “The People and the Ponies,” by C. F. Peters, in Bohem{an. Spoiled the Encore. The nobility and gentry of Little Plowboro were recently gathered in the village schoolroom to enjoy some tableaux vivants by local performers, says Pearson’s Weekly. The curtain had just fallen on a really creditable picture of the death of Nelson, shown to slow musie, when one man, who was knowm to be a friend of the gentleman representing the greatest naval hero, rose and tried to make his way toward the stage. “Keep your seats, please,” sald the stage manager. ‘“We're much obliged for your kind applause, ladies and gen- tlemen, and we're going to give you the death of Nelson over again.” “Oh, are yer?” came from the hero’s friend. “Then if you'll tell Nelson 'is die so blessed lingerin'.” He Settled It. An amusing story Is told at Strat- ford-on-Avon. In the smoking room of a hotel there an Englishman and a Scotchman engaged in a heated argu- ment. John Bull was declaring Wil- llam Shakespeare to be the only poet of the world, and Donald McPherson was standing up for his Robert. Burns. Words ran high and blows seemed imminent when a self confident little commercial traveler determined to throw ol on the troubled waters, “Gentlemen,” he said, stepping be- tween the heated disputants, “let me settle this amlcably. Who is this Shakespeare-Burns?’ — London Tele- graph. Crowded Out. “l am thirty-five years old,” an- nounced a woman of fifty-six at a tea last week. “And I am twenty-six,” sald the wo- man of forty-five. Then, turning to a girl of seventeen who stood near by, she asked, “How old are you, Ethel?” “Ob,” replied Ethel, “according to present reckoning, I'm not born yet!” “The Smallpox Devil.” The natives of the west coast of Su- matra object to being vaccinated. They stlll make offerings to the smallpox devil. The heart and liver of fowls and buffaloes are mixed with yellow rice and other ingredients, placed in the model of a full rigged ship, carried in procession and finally launched into the sea.—Singapore Free Press. Proof. Skrappy—When I married you I had no idea you were such a fool. Mrs. Skrappy—The- very fact of my con- senting to be your wife should have re- moved any doubts you had on that point.—Illustrated Bits, Apprentice Examination. Preliminaries for membership in the Ananias club: “You may not belleve It, but;” “Now, leaving all joking aside;” “Serlously now;” “It may seem strange, but.”—Chicago Post. With a Little Help. “Your customs are enough to make any clvilized man bolll” exclaimed the missionary indignantly, “With the help of a little dry wood,” assented the cannibals gravely.—Puck, ‘The average amount of rainfall be- low the equator is twenty-six inches, while north of the line it Is thirty- seven and one-half inches. The Lovely Life. Mrs. Proud—What did you think of Myrtle's essay on “The Lovely Life?’ Mr. Proud—Excellent. No one would think that Myrtle drinks eau de cologne and slaps her little brother, would they, dear?—Chicago News. Preoccupled. The professor had fallen downstairs, and as he thoughtfully picked himself up he remarked, “I wonder what ‘noise %lt ‘was I just heard?’—New Orleans kitchen chimney’s afire p’rape e won't | A Wonderful Dog: I ran a news stand at Port Jervls, N. Y. [-owned a common shepherd dog which was a very intelligent ani- mal and was of great assistance to me in the newspaper business, run- ning across the street with papers in his mouth to customers, He attracted much attention, and he got me many new customers, for everybody Illked him, he was such a business dog. I was sick one day and not able to sell my papers. My dog came in my room where I lay iu bed. He fumbled around in my pants pockets and took the keys to my news stand and ran out of the house, and the first thing I knew he had the newspaper stand opened up and doing business. He was very clever In making change, changing five and ten dollar bills without a single mistake, work- ing the cash register with his paws, and everything ran smoothly until a man came up and passed him a lead quarter. My dog got mad and lost his temper entirely, and I was forced to Interfere. With much trouble I man- aged to pull them apart. If this dog had not had such a quick temper I would bave started him io business for himself. This dog is still living.—Boston Post. Crushed by Beecher. Henry Ward Beecher was once ap- proached by a young man who con- sldered himself very clever. “Do you know, Mr. Beecher,” said he, “I've been thinking that I would settle down. Now, I like your preach- ing, but when I go to your church and see such men as old S. and others, grasping skinflints and hypocrites to the core, sitting there in full member- ship, why, the thing is just a little too much for me, and really,” he added, “I cannot join.” “Well, you're right,” said Mr. Beech- er. “Every church has such men, and I fancy Plymouth Is not free from them, and until you spoke I have al- ways wondered why the good Lord permitted it. Now I understand.” “Ah,” gurgled. the young fellow, “I am glad I have thrown light on the question! What strikes you as the reason, Mr. Beecher?” “Well,” replied the great preacher, “it Is permitted in order to keep just such fools as you out of the churches.” The Nearest Approach. An English tourist visited Arran and being a keen disciple of Izaak Wal- ton was arranging to have a day's good sport. Being told that the cleg, or horsefly, would sult his purpose ad- mirably for a lure, he addressed him- self to Christy, the highland servant girl, “I say, my girl, can you get me some horseflies?” Christy looked stupid, and he repeat- ed his question. Finding that she did not yet comprehend him, he exclaimed: “Why, girl, did you never see a horsefly ?” “Naa, sir,” said the girl, “but a ‘wanse saw a coo jump ower a preshil- plce” Grandfather's Portrait. A villager, intensely conceited and ignorant, but quite wealthy, was per- suaded to have his grandfather’s pic- ture repainted. ‘The artist, not having been decently treated by the villager, drew the por- trait almost in a nude form. Rolling it up, he told the man not to look at it before the coming New Year. - On that day the villager ordered the pic- ture to be hung up that he might pay it his New Year respects. As it was being unrolled he frantically waved his hands and shouted: “Wait! Wait! The old gentleman is not ready, for he i8s not yet dressed.”—From the Chi- nese. % The Worth of His Money. Not seldom in highland districts the attendance at church during unpropi- tlous weather is but scanty. One min- ister, finding himself on a boisterous Sunday confronted with but one soli- tary auditor, who happened to be a gruff, outspoken character, took him Into his confidence, with a view to propitiate him. “Will I go on with the sermon, John?” John answered gruff- ly, “Of course.” Getting into the pul- pit and leaning over it, he asked, “Will 1 give you the Gaelic sermon or the English one?” “Gie’s baith. Ye're weel pald for 't,” said John, more grufily still.—Dundee Advertiser. Bituminous Coal. Bhortly after the adoption of bitu- minous coal as a fuel in England a royal proclamation was used forbid- ding its use and authorizing the de- struction of the furnaces of the users, who were characterized as evil doers. Scarcity of fuel, it seems, shortly com- pelled the resumption of its use. In the reign of Elizabeth bituminous coal was again prohibited during ses- sions of parliament lest the health of the members suffer thereby.—London Telegraph. The Richest. That country is the richest which nourishes the greatest number of no- ble and happy human belngs; that man {8 the richest who, having per- fected the functions of his own life to the utmost; has also the widest help- ful influence, both personal and by means of his possessions, over the lives of others.—John Ruskin. A Philosopher. Frances Willard once wrote to a friend who had just lost a daughter: “Dear Sister Anna, how much richer are you than I! Here I sit alone with- out a child to die, while you are mother to an angel.” The Hat Scale. A fifty dollar hat is a conceit. A thirty dollar hat is a confection. A two dollar hat I8 a sin and a shame and a perfect justification for golng home to mother.—Pittsburg Post. The Deadhea “What started the riot at the per- formance of ‘Hamlet’ last night?” “Ham held the skull and said, ‘Alas, poor Yorick, you are not the only dead head in the house’” — Pearson’ Weekly. Her Way. “There's & young woman who makes little things count.” “How does she do it?’ His Threat to a Conductor. fome time ago a'man at Ypsilanti, Mich., became crazed on the subject of hypnotism and was sent on a Mich- Igan Central train to an asylum. When the conductor asked for tickets the erazy man began telling of his hyp- notic powers. “I'll hypnotize you,” he sald, “Fire away,” replled the conductor. The man made several passes before the conductor’s face. “Now you are hypnotized,” he sald. The conductor looked the part as best he could. “You're a conductor,” the hypnotist sald. “That’s right,” replied his victim. “You're a good conductor,” went on e hypnotist. i “Right again,” sald the conductor. “You don’t smoke, drink or swear at passengers. You are honest. You turn in all tickets and money you collect from passengers. In fact, you de not steal a cent.” “That's right,” ductor. The hypnotist eyed him a moment, then said: “What an awtul fix you'd be in i 1 left you in this condition!’—Kansas City Star. Beer For Breakfast. = Bixteenth century children in Eng- land ate very different food from that assented the con- sters. The following dietary is taken from the Northumberland Household Book, showing the nursery breakfasts at the beginning of the sixteenth cen- tury: “This is the Ordre of Braikfastis for the Nurcy for my Lady Margaret and Maister Ingeram Percy every day In the week In Lent: Item, a Manchet [& small loaf of white bread], a Quarte of Bere, a Dysch of Butter, a Pece of Saltfisch, a Dysch of Sproitts or iij ‘White Herring, Bralkfastis of Flesch dayly thorowte the Yere; Item, a Manchet, a Quarte of Bere and iij Muton Bonys boiled. On Fyshedays throw-owte the Yere: Item, a Manchet, a Quarte Bere, a Dysch of Butter, a pece of Saltfische or a Dysch of But- ter’d Eggs.” Milk seems to have been an unknown beverage, but the beer of those days was very different from the modern article and much more harm- less. Couldn't Stick Him Again. A Dbishop, accosted in Fifth avenue, New York, by a neat but hungry stran- ger, took the needy one to a hotel and shared a gorgeous dinner with him, yet, having left his episcopal wallet in the pocket of a different episcopal jack- et, suddenly faced the embarrassment of not possessing the wherewithal to pony up. “Never mind,” exclaimed his guest; “I have enjoyed dining with you, and I shall be charmed to shoulder the cost. ' Permit me.” Whereupon tha stranger paid for two. This worried the prelate, who insisted, “Just let me call a cab and we’ll run up to my hotel, ‘where I shall have the pleasure of re- imbursing you.” But the stranger met the suggestion with, “See here, old man, you've stuck me for a bully good dinner, but hanged if I'm going to let you stick me for car fare!” NATURE TELLS YOU. As Many a Bemidji Reader Knows Too Well. When the kidneys are sick, Nature tells you all about it. The urine is nature’s calendar. Infrequent or too frequent action; Any urinary ‘trouble tells of kid- ney ills. Doan’s Kidney Pills cure all kid- ney ills. Bemidji people testify to this. Mrs. Anna A. Buell, living at 613 Second St., Bemidji, Minn., says: “Ijhave suffered from kidney trouble for several years not serious at any time, but dull pains in the small of my back caused me much discom- fort. The secretations were very unnatural in appearance and plainly showed that my kidneys were not acting properly. I made up my mind J to try Doan’s’_Kidney Pills and procured a box at the Owl Drug Store. I received such bene- ficial results from their use that I procured;’a_further, supply; and’ I am; now i;f—t—he very best_oflhealth. Doan’s Kidney Pills strengthened my back and kidneys and toned up my whole system.” =i . For sale by all dealers. Price 50 cents. Foster-Milburn Co., Buffalo, New York, sole agents for the|United States. Remember the name— Doan’s—and take no other. .~ -:fiiy 1 yaf.ii.gm.M JOHNSON'S 6088 S B e etk backadhe ‘will cure rheumatism, e e e catarrh, that T make ] AN ABSOLUTE GUARANTEE S S it SO g I Cmd}ho To w, my alth remedy than to make this absolute guarant; E‘Prll;g:lnd l:r}lbvr ry of Mats J, Johnson 5 ‘g‘u.-;-?ma under the Food snd Dr FoR AND GUARAN ) B Barker’s Drug Store Act, consumed by modern American young- | The Colored Brother's Reason. Booker T. Washington told the story of a negro pastor who was having some difficulty with his flock. “The old fellow came to me and asked me to help him out,” said Mr. Washington. “I went -down to the lit- tle backwoods country church with bim one Sunday, Incidentally I took oceaslion to inquire among the parish- foners a little and found that they had not paid the old man his salary. “Upon this basis of information I started In to admonish the members of the congregation. I told them that they should pay their pastor; that he had to live; that he had to have his salary. “All in all, I was making a pretty good speech. I had most of the con- gregation convinced, I think. “But there was one old fellow in the back of the church that was mum- bling during my talk. He would snick- er a little and duck his eyes below the old soft hat he held up to his face. ‘We ain’t goin’ to pay 'im any more salary this year.” “The old fellow became so obstrep- erous that I remonstrated with him. “ ‘Brother, why are you not going to pay your pastor any more salary this year? I asked him. “‘Because we done pald him for them same sermons last y'ar,’ was the decisive response.” How Prisoners Read. “It is rather pathetic,” said a prison chaplain, “the way our inmates read their surreptitious newspapers. It is bad for the poor fellows’ eyes too. “It 1s against the rule for them to read in their cells, and in the cell doors there are peepholes, to which the jail- #rs come noiselessly, seeing that all the rules are enforced. “The prisoner who simply must read pastes with g bit of porridge his jour- nal up against his cell door beneath | the peephole. He sits down on the floor a yard or two away and holds his dustpan in one hand and his brush in the other. (n this awkward and wearl- some positlon, his eyes nearly popping out of his head from strain, he reads sway for dear life. X “And when, the jailer’s cold, hard eye peers in through the peephole it misses the paper and lights up with some faint approbation at the sight of the prisoner polishing up his floor.”— | New York Press. His Order. “Pop,” asked the walter’s little boy, %what does ‘apple pie order’ mean?’ “Hub,” exclaimed the waiter, “that sounds like a Boston man’s break- fast.”—Philadelphia Press. Exactly. “T can tell you,” sald he, “how much water runs over Niagara falls to a quart.” “How much?’ asked she. “Two pints.” . PILES CURED IN 6 TO 14 DAYS PAZO OINTMENT is guaranteed to cure any case of Itching, Blind, Bleeding or Protruding Piles in 0 to 14 days or money refunded. 5c0. RAILWAY POSITIONS GUARANTEED—We want 200 able-bodied young men to take short course of instruc- ton in Telegraphy and Rallroading atour school and for whom we will secure positions as telegraph operators and agents as soon as sourse is' completed. Easy to learn. Good salary. Write for free Caialog. THOMPSON'S RAILWAY COLLEGE, Minneapolis, Minn. asks. tivity \Bilious? Noclors all agree that an active liver * positivels o are the best liver pills you can possibly take. positively essential to health. AI'\ Soid for over €0 years. sur_own doclor_about Ayer’s “ilow are your bowels?” the doctor always tion of constipation, iic knows how important is the ques- He knows that inac- of the liver will often produce most T results, We believe Ayer’s Pills 3.5, Ayercon Something of That Kind. “Young man,” sald the serlous gen- tleman, “‘did you ever pause and think that each tick of the clock brings you another moment nearer to the end of your existence?” “I was thinking of something of that kind this very minute,” cheerfully re- plied the youth, “only the idea struck me that each tick brought pay day that much nearer.” A Puzzler. An old white haired darky living on a plantation, not feeling well, had the doctor pay him a visit. The doctor told him as he was getting 0ld he must eat plenty of chicken and stay out of damp night air. “But, sah’” said the old darky, “how can you ex- pect me to stay in de house at night and still get my chickens?” A Wise Little Milliner. “If 1 had Insisted,” said the milliner, “T could have sold her a hat that cost $10 more, but I was afrajd that if she took it I should lose her trade. I knew her husband wouldn't like it. It isn't the expense he would object to, but the hat. -She I8 a countrywoman, and he i8 a countryman, Countrymen do not like New York hats—that is, hats of the exaggerated type. I never yet sold an extreme style to an out of town woman without losing her custom. The men at home always sald, ‘Well, if that’s the best you can do In New York—come back with a scarecrow thing like that—you’d better buy your hats nearer home.’ And thereafter that is just what the women do. That is why I now sell nothing but modest looking hats to country customers. I can’t afford to antagonize their hus- bands.”—New York Times. There is Only One ssBromo That Is Quinine”’ Laxaiive Bromo Quinine USED THE WORLD OVER TO OURE A COLD IN_ONE DAY. Always remember the full name. Look for this signature on every box. 25c. G D Building We'carry in stock at all times a complete line of Lumber and Building Material, Dimensions, etc. Look us up for your winter supply of Coal and Wood We have a large supply St. Hilaire Retail Lbr. Co. BEMIDJI, MINN. Lumber and Material MEMORANDUM [BOOKS Our line is the most complete assort- ‘ment in Northern Minnesota. We have books from the very cheapest to the very best leather bound book or cover. BEMIDJI PIONEER Stationery Department BLANK BOOKS A large consignment of Day Books, Ledgers,{Cash Books and Journals, have just been received and the stock is com- plete and will give the buyer a good good selection from which to make his choice. et -« 1 xS o