Bemidji Daily Pioneer Newspaper, November 12, 1907, Page 2

FRIEND TO FRIEND. The personal recommendations of peo- ple who have been cured of coughs and eolds by Chamberlain’s Cough Remedy have done more than all else to make ita staple article of trade an1 commerce oves « large part of the civilized world. Barker’s Drug Store — o —————— THE BEMIDJI DAILY PIONEER PUBLISHED NVERY AFTERNOON, OFFICIAL PAPER---CITY OF BEMIDJI BEMIDJI PIONEER PUBLISHING CO. CLYDE J. PRYOR | | A, G, RUTLEDGE; Business Manager Managing Editor ®ntered in the postoffice at Bemidjl. Minn., as second class matter. SUBSCRIPTION---$5.00 PER ANNUM RULES FOR BOOK AGENTS. The editor hereof has been both- ered considerably of late by per- sistent book agents; and we would suggest the following rules for- those of the “fraternity” who are abso- lutely calloused as to the eternal fitness of things: Tell the man on whom you call that the mayor of the city and four or five of the leading merchants have insisted that you make his acquaint- tance. This will confirm his be- lief that he is the only pickle in the barrel, so to speak. Ask him if you can make him a present. This will cause him to suspect you, so go on hastily to your propositiou. Inform him that you are going to give him a set of tintogravures and seven volumes of the works of the renowned writer, Amos Kiddupp. He will never have heard of Amos Kiddupp, but he will be ashamed to acknowledge this .He will say that he is busy. He will tell you to call again. Fxplain that only seven- teen sets are being issued on this basis, to get the right kind of names on the list. Appeal thus to his bunko instinct. Spread out your samples and talk right through his objections. When you see his fingers become nerveless and flabby, put your fountain pen in them aud show him where to sign. Then get out, and let the collector do the rest. OBSERVATIONS. Laziness is an easily acquired art. Even those who say but little talk too much. Ambition is the thing that boosts a man up in the ladder. Kisses are the real thing only when backed up by the heart. There is usually plenty of room at the top—of a man’s anatomy. Joys of solitude have nothing in common with a lone one-dollar bill. It’s probably called the honey- moon. Alonzo, because the moon affects the tide. If a man could only see himself as the neighbors see him he could easily see his finish. Insurance companies are not so bad after all. Just look at the pile of nice blotters they give away. Many a man fails to hear the knock of opportunity because he is busy doing a little “knocking” on his own account. Something of That Kind. “Young man,” sald the serious gen- tleman, “did you ever pause and think that each tick of the clock brings you another moment nearer to the end of your existence?’ “1 was thlnkl.nz of something of thnt kind this very minute,” cheerfully re- plied the youth, “only the idea struck me that each tick brought pay day that much nearer.” A Puzzler. An old white halred darky living on & plantation, not feeling well, had the @octor pay him a visit. The doctor told him as he was getting old. he must eat plenty of chicken and stay eut of damp night air. “But, sah,” #aid the old darky, “how can you ex- pect me to stay in de house at nlcht and still get - my chickens?” " Humorous Chinese Graft. A certain Chinese taotal (maglstrate) having told his men to have two ingots of gold sent to his treasury for pur- chase, the shopmen brought them in and In answer to the query of the tao- tal told him that the price was so much in taels, but added, “This s the or- dinary price, but for your honor we will knock off one-half of the price.” Then the taotal said to his underlings: “Seeing that they are to sell to me at only one-half price, just give them back one ingot of gold and put the other In my treasury, and thus“their account is settled. Goodby.” So the underlings of the yamen did so, but still the shopmen hung around walit- Ing. The taotal asked them why they were waiting, when their account had been already settled, Sald the shop- men, “When did your honor pay your humble servants?’ Then the magis- trate answered with a very flerce air: “Taio nu ts-al” (impertinent slaves), “did you not say that these two gold Ingots were half price to me? Then did I not give you back one Ingot and keep the other and thus settle your ac- count without the least Injustice ac- cording to your own proposition? So be off with you or my lictors will give you a taste of the scourge.”—Harper’s Weekly. A Singular Calculation. It would require, according to the calculations of a scientist, the power of a 10,000 horsepower engine about 70,000,000,000 years to lift the earth a foot in height, and to do this work, allowing thirteen pounds of water per horsepower per hour, would require some 10,000,000,000,000,000,000 gallons of water, or more than would be dis- charged at the mouth of the Mississip- pl in 6,000 years. This would be enough, the writer estimates, to cover the entire surface of the earth to a depth of not less than 300 feet, to convert which into steam, using good boilers, would require some 4,000,000,- 000,000,000 tons of coal. If the latter quantity of the mineral was loaded on cars of twenty tons each it would de- mand 200,000,000,000,000 such cars. If the latter were thirty feet long and all coupled together in ome train it would reach around the earth 45,000,- 000 times and, if running twenty-five miles per hour, would consume 25,000, 000 years in running the length of it- self. So much for figures. “Crocodile Tears.” The phrase “crocodile tears” owes its origin to the imagination of some of the old travelers, who invented the fable that the crocodile weeps over its prey. One of the earliest English globe trotters to mention this fiction was Sir John Mandeville, who in his “Travels” (1499), speaking of “ZSthiop,” “Ynde” and an “Yle clept Silla,” says: “That Lond is full of Serpents and of Cokadrilles. These Cokadrilles ben a manner of Long Serpente,. zalowe and rayed aboven, and had four Feete and schorte Thyes and grete Nayles as Clees or.Talonns, and there ben sume that had five Fadme in length and sume of six and a halfendal. And in the nyght thei dwellen In the Water and on the Day won upon the Lond. Theise Serpentes slue men, and thel eten hem weypnge, and when thef eten thei moven the over Jowe and noughte the nether Jowe, and thel have no tonge.”—St. Louls Republic. Me and My Father. The commercial traveler flicked the dust off his boots, straightened his tie and entered the emporium of Mr. Brown, the village grocer. He was new to the district, otherwise he would not have made the error which we now divulge. Behind the counter was a young gentleman of fourteen, with -bulging eyes and a high collar. To him the traveler addressed himself. “My boy,” he said, “is Mr. Brown in? “I'm Mr. Brown,” the boy replied. “But possibly you want to see 'old Mr. Brown, my father. I'll get him.” And as the boy went in search of his prefnaturely aged parent it dawned upon the traveler that this is indeed an age of young men.—London An- swers, Ideals. He kissed her hand. BShe withdrew it hastily and gazed re- proachfully at him. “I didn’t think it of you!” she said, almost tearfully. “I had always con- sidered you a young man with ideals, and”— “I—1 am sorry if' I have offended,” he stammered. “I"— “Well,” she said bltterly, “I certain- Iy expected you to alm higher.” 8o he took heart and made new res- olutions and things.—Brooklyn Eagle. Safe. Mrs. Smith—Yes, my little five-year- old girl is a great help iIn my house- keeping. Mrs. Randall-Why, what can such a child do to help? Mrs. Smith—She goes down and tells the cook for me whenever we're going to have company.—Harper’s Bazar. Delicately Put. He would not say that she painted, powdered and all that. ‘He was too much of a gentleman for.that. “SHIl I may-as well confess,” he eald, “that she impressed me as one who thinks she can improve upon the Lord’s handiwork.” The :Plagiarist. . “Father,” sald Rollo, "what is a plagiarist?”’ “A plaglarist, my son, 1s a klepto- maniac, who lacks the courage to take anything which the police could be called' on to protect.”— Washington Star. A man can know nothing of man- kind without knowing something of himself.—Beaconsfield. Forest of Natural Columns. There 18 in Bulgaria a group of nat. | ural columns much lke the Giant's Causeway in Ireland. On the edge of a plateau in the open country rises this forest of natural columns, which gives the impression of an antique ruin, The columns, which are about fifteen to twenty feet high, are absolutely: cylin. drical, and they are often as much as. three teet thick. The stratification of the rock resembles joints and vertical erosion due to' u!n bas formed: Dm ‘flutings. A Waasted Present. “What In the world shall I send Aunt Betsy, John?” demanded the mas: terful lady of the mild little man, “A workbasket or a book?”’ he sug- gested. “Don’t -be a fool, John! You’ve nc taste. I'll send her one of those fancy boxes of soap.” And she lifted to her mose a box containing six round tablets of per- fumed soap. “Yes,” she continued, very thing!” “But, my dear, really”— he protest: od. “You be quiet, John! this up, miss!” Two days later a packet arrived from Aunt Betsy, and in haste they opened it to see how she had taken Thelr thoughtful present. Under the wrap: ping was the affectionate message: “Niece—Herewith I return the box of shaving soap you sent me. I am too old to appreciate the joke of be- ing regarded as a bearded lady. Your aunt, Betsy.” Then, but only for a moment, the mild little man smiled. — Pearson’s ‘Weekly. “this is the Now, wrap A Dreadful Assault. Justice Ball, an Irish judge, was noted for his amusing manifestations of ignorance, but whether they were real or pretended has never been clear- ly established. He trled a case in which 2 man was indicted for robbery at the house of a poor widow. The first witness was the young daughter of the widow, who identified the pris- oner as the man who had entered the house and smashed her mother’s chest “Po you say that the prisoner at the bar broke your mother’s chest?” said the judge in astonishment. “He did, my lord,” answered the girl “He jumped on it till he smashed 1t entirely.” The judge turned to the crown coun: sel and saild: “How s this? Why is not the prisoner indicted for murder! If he smashed this poor woman’s ches! in the way the witness has described he must surely have killed her.” “But, my lord,” said the counsel, “It ‘was a wooden chest.”—Cornhill Maga- zine. The Buds. Old Dr. Ryland, clergyman and ed: ucator, was greatly beloved in the south, and his visits were always en Joined by his former pupils and par ishioners. In his later years it was his custom to offer prayer whenever he made a ministerial call. On one occasion he called at a house where three of his former pupils were stay ing. These ladies were all past the thirtleth year mark, but in the eyes of the old gentleman they were stili girls, which explains the petition he offered: “Lord, bless these dear girls, jusi budding into sweet womanhood.” This was too much for onme of the number, who, taking advantage of the doctor’s deafness, added this clause sotto voce:““Alas, Lord, budded, bloom- ed, faded and still unpicked!” Got His Discount. “The other day I was in a village general store,” sald a drummer, “en deavoring to make a~sale of jewelry ‘when a farmer entered. ‘“‘Give me,’ sald the farmer, ‘a halt pound of tobacco, three bars of soap, five yards of blue baby ribbon and s pair of good suspenders.’ “The articles were brought l’ox'th in spected, approved and wrapped up They came to 95 cents. “Yes,” sald the farmer, ‘95's right But there’s the discount. You adver tiee a 5 per cent discount, don’t you? “‘We do, sir, said the clerk, ‘bui only on purchases of $1 or over.’ “Onthe counter lay a basket of pock- ot combs marked at 5 cents apiece. “'Well, I'll just take one of these, sald the farmer. ‘Thatll make us square.’” A Stingy King. In the beginning of the eighteenth century the now so powerful German empire was nothing more than the lit- tle kingdom of Prussia, having just dropped its title of duchy of Branden- burg. The country was very poor and the military discipline very harsh. Frederick Willlam I. was hard, cross and stingy and did not even know what it was to make a present. His reputation was so widely spread that it became a byword to say that a man had worked for the king of Prussia ‘when he had done an unprofitable task, Maximilian and “La Paloma.” ‘Wherever that haunting air, “La Pa- loma,” I8 played the memory of the Emperor Maxmilian, shot by the Mex- fcans on June 19, 1867, should be pre- served. Maxmilian’s final request was that “La Paloma” should be played ‘while he stood up to meet his doom He died with the tune in his ears, and his wife went mad with the shock of his execution. Papa Is Brave. Blschen—Mamma, is papa ever brave’ Motter—He is always brave, I hope. But what makes you ask? Elschen— Because I thought if he were he ‘wouldn’t let my governess pull his ears so.—Fliegende Blatter. Lincpin's Sarcasm. Probably the most cutting thing Lin- coln ever sald was the remark he made about a very loquacious man, “This person can compress the most words Into the smallest ideas of any man I ever met.” Certain Differences. “Do they never forget their difter- snces?” “Why, yes, in a way. He forgets that he’s a gentleman, and she forgets that she’s a lady.”—Puck. % The Cure. “How’s your wife?” “She’s having constant trouble wm\ her head.” “Can’t the doctor help her?” “No—nobody but the milliner.” A Patriot. “Bay, I'reddle, what's a patriot?” “Oh, It's one of those fellows who tries to make something out of his country.”—Judge. All men are equal—till they are Mml out.—Jamesport Gazette. | cholce steers, The Secret. From his farm Judge Blank was in the habit of supplying the preachers of all the churches with flour, corn, hay and vegetables free of cost. He also kept the country supplied with venison from the herd of deer which he kept for many years. He built a big smokehouse in the rear of his grounds. One night, unseen himself, he saw a man emerge from the smoke- house with a side of pork on his shoul- der. He recognized the’intruder, but sald nothing. A week afterward the fellow approached him, saying, “Judge, I understand you had some meat stol- en from your smokehouse?’ The old judge raised his hand deprecatingly and said: “Shl No one on earth knows anything about that but you and me.”—Argonaut. Loves Pretty Way. Billson—Whose pocketbook {is that you are advertising for? Jimson—My own, of course. “Get out! ‘Containing a roll of bank notes and a large number of checks, Finder can keep monéy if he will re- turn papers’ Get out! You don’t see & roll of bank notes or a check once a year.” “No, but Bertha Bullion’s father vakes the paper I advertised in, and he'll see that advertisement.” “Humph! Where did you get the money to pay.for that big ad.?” “Bertha lent it to me, bless the dar- Ung!’—London ‘Answers. ENDS ROMANTIC CAREER. Former Italian Army Officer Suicides in the Tombs. New York, Nov. 12.—Giovani de Chichicia, who until he was compelled to choose between love and duty was a lieutenant in the Italian army, com- mitted. suicide in the Tombs. His imprisonment had been brought about by his brother Lugi, a banker of this city. Lugi believed Giovani insane. The banker wished to have Giovani detained as insane, but the court would not entertain this charge and the former soldier was held for trial on a charge of carrying concealed weapons. In the Tombs Giovani became de- spondent, complained bitterly of for- mer friends and constantly grieved for his girl-wife left alone in the West. mit the prisoners to go to the yard for their daily exercise Gilovani, who occupied a cell on the third tier, stepped quickly out upon the balcony and then sprang upon the guard rail. He dived head foremost.from the staging twenty-five feet below. Sev- eral hundred prison companions wit- nessed his death. NEARLY EIGHT ELOCKS BURN Loss of Over One Million by Fire at lquigue, Chile. Iquique, Chile, Nov: 12.—This port has been visiled by a fire, the biggest since 1882, which has entailed losses amounting to over $1,000,000. Seven and a half blocks were burned over before it was under control. The prop- erty destroved was mostly dwellings and no less than 2,000 people are homeless. . The. fire was about one mile distant from the commercial quarter of the city.® ! When the doors were opened to per- $4.00@5.76. Hogs—$4.85@5.05. hoep —@ood to cholce wethers, $4.60@41.75; good to choice lambs, $5.60@6.00. Chlicago Grain and Provisions, Chicago, Nov. 11.—Close—Wheat— Dec.,, 943%c; May, $1.03. Corn—Dec, 67%@B7%c; May, b8c. Oats—Dec, 47%c; May, 60% @50%ec. Pork—Jan,, $18.25; May, $13.60. Butter—Cream- erles, 21@26c; dalries, 21@24. Eggs +=—17% @20%¢; - Poultry—Turkeys,; 14c; chickens, 9¢; springs, 10c, Chicago Union Stock Yards, $3.40@6.90; cows, $1.26@5.00; calves, $6.50@17.50; Texans, $3.35@4.10; West- erners, $3.00@5.35; stockers and feeders, $2.30@4.45. Hogs—Light, $4.85@5.45;- mixed, $4.95@5.60; heavy, $4.85@5.60; rough, $4.85@5.00; plgs, $4.00@5.00. Sheep—Natives, $2.40@ 5.20; yearlings, $5.00@5.66; lambs, $4.25@7.00. TO CURE A COLD IN ONE DAY Take LAXATIVE BROMO Quinine Tablets. Drngfllsm refund money it it fails to cure P W. GROVE'S signature is on each box. Show Your " Priends Our Work In doing s0, you not only help us to gain a new customer, but you also help your friend to find & suitable place to have her work done. You know what excellent service we give you, and we can give your friend the same service too, if you will only tell her. Information booklet expreas paid on orders Chicago, Nov. 11.—-Cnttle—Beeves,‘ GAR-G( Sixty years of experience with Ayer’s Cherry § Pectoral make us have great confidence in § O e a r S it for coughs, colds on the chest, bronchitis, hosarseness, weak throats, weak lungs. Ask your doctor to tell you his experience with § it. If satisfactory, then you will certainly 304 " have every confidence in it. 3.0 e;,:.v | We thoroughly belteve in our remedies. i ?'e want you to belicoe in them, oo Suppose_you let your doclor decide. Lumber and Building Material We carry in stock at all times a complete line of Lumber and Building Material, Dimensions, etc. Look us up for your winter supply of Coal and Wood We have a large supply St. Hilaire Retail Lbr. Co. BEMIDJI, MINN. L cURES SORE THROAT Owl Drug Store, quidii, Minn. FOOTBALL ==<=ON NORTHOP FIELD, MINNEAPOLIS, SATURDAY, MINNESOTA VS CARLISLE NOVEMBER 16, 1907. The Indians and the Minnesoas will put up a game that will live in memory. Both teams are on their mettle. GO VIA THE NORTHFRN PACIFIC ND SEE THE GAME OF THE SEASON orveriert 11ain serveeto Minneapolis and St. Paul. See Local agent for tickets-and infortation. ALASKA-YUKON-PACIFIC EXPOSITION 1909. Takes Poison but Repents. New .York, Noy..12.—After-walking the streets nearly all night Mrs, Bella Castelvetro, said to be the daughter. of N. M. Platt, a real estate dealer ot Cleveland, accosted a policeman and told him she had taken poison, but had repented and did not want to die. The woman was taken to Belle- vue hospital, where she was_ found to be suffering from the effects of an.opiate, but would recover. Plan a Cleaner Chicago. Chicago, Nov. 12.—How Chicago may be made a cleaner, more beautiful city, was discussed at a public meet- ing held under the auspices of seven- teen civic organizations in Fullerton hall. The conference was one of a rles planned for the purpose of cry tallizing the movement toward clea Ing the streets and atmosphere of the || city. BRIEF BITS OF NEWS. Madame Anna Gould has authorized the Assoclated Press to deny the re- ports that she is engaged to be mar- rled to Prince Helle de Sagan or to anybody else. Charges have been filed with Pres- ident Roosevelt against Grove A, Por- - ter, appointed last week as marshal for the Eastern district of the new state of Oklahoma. Every detail in the preparations for the sailing of the battleship fleet to the Pacific coast is now In hand. The. cost ‘of provisioning the fleet is estimated at about $375,000. The officlals of the University of Paris haye ordered the medical school to be closed until-Jan. 1 on account of recent disorderly demonstrations of students against two provincial pro- fessors. A wedding that was looked forward to with interest in Chicago and Pitts- burg society has been cancelled with- out any explanations. The principals are Miss Isabel W. Pontefract, a Pitts- burg heiress, and John Cudahy, Jr., son of the Chicago packer, MARKET QUOTATIONS. Minneapolis Wheat. 3 Minneapolis, Nov. 11.—Close—Dec., $1.03; May, $1.09%. On track—No. 1 hard, $1.05% @1.05%: No. 1 North- ern,, $1.04% @1.045%; No. 2 Northern, ;:00%@1.01%; No. 3 Northern, 96@ c. Duluth Wheat and Flax, Duluth, Nov. 11.—Wheat—On track and to arrive—No, 1 hard, $1.05%; No. 1 Northern, $1.08%; No. 2 North- ern, $1.013; Dec, $1.04%; 'May, $1.10%. Flax—To arrive, on track and Nov, $1.18%; Dec.,, $1.19%; May, $1.26%. 8t,-Paul Unlon Stock Yards. 8t. Paul, Nov. 11.—Cattle—Good to $6.50@6.50; fair to good, $4.00@5.00; good to cholce cows ang helfers, $3.50@5.00; veal calves, MEMORANDUM [BOOKS Our line is the most complete assort- ment in"Northern Minnesota. books from the very cheapest to the 2 very best leather bound book or cover. BEMIDJI PIONEER Stationery Department BLANK BOOKS A large consignment of Day Books, Ledgers, Cash Books and Journals, have just been received and the stock is com- plete and will give the buyer a good good selection from which to make his choice, We have