Bemidji Daily Pioneer Newspaper, October 23, 1907, Page 2

AT i R Long Men Wanted. The records in the war department Very Nicely Done. in Washington are as a rule very dry, | Gallant Man {aside)—At last I have |but occasionally an entry is found that OFFICIAL PAPER---CITY OF BEMIDJI her all to myself. Now 1 can tell her |is humorous. how 1 love her and ask her to be mine, An oflicer of englneers in charge of BEMIDJI PIONEER PUBLISHING CO. | Eow shall I do it, I wonder? the construction of a road that was Why Was He an Idiot? There is a story told of a very talka- tive lady who met with a well de- served rebuke at a soclal gathering not long ago. IMer husband Is a man of high standing in the world of sclence, Compicte Formulay Ayer's Non-Aleoholic Sarsaparilla ach Flul 6 Represents Barseparilla Root, 10 Yellow Dock noet, BGre VO ecretsmm i b Ask your doctor if he approves of this smgnmnlmm - : 3 8 ‘prescription for thinblood, impure blood. > W aor o Accept his answer without question, THE BEMIDJI DAILY PIONEER | PUBLINHED WVERY AFTERNOON, 1051 Wit —Bufficient to make one fluid num.ue e FRIEND TO FRIEND.| The personal recommendations of peos ple who have been curcd of coughs and colds by Chamberlain's Cough Remedy | have done more than all elso to make it a staple article of trade an'l commerce ove a large part of the civilized world, Barker’s Drug Store PROFESSIONAL CARDS ARTS MISS EUGENIA OLIVER VOICE CULTURE and PHYSICAL CULTURE "MISS DICKINSON ART OF PIANO PL. 415 MINNESOTA AVE. LAWYER . D. H. FISK Attorney and Counsellor at Law Otfice over Post Office E. E, McDonald ATTORNEY AT LAW Bemidyl, Minn. Office: Swedback Block PHYSICIANS AND SURGEONS. Dr. Rowland Gilmore Physician and Surgeon Otfice: Itiles Block DR. E. A. SHANNON, M. D. Physician and Surgeon Office in Mayo Bloek Phone 396 Res. Phone 397 DENTISTS. DR. J. T. TUOMY Dentist rst National Bank Bu 1d'g. Telephone No. 230 DR. WARNINGER VETERINARY SUEOBON | Telephone Number Third St.. one block west of 15t 'Nat'l Bank DRAY AND TRANSFER. Wes Wright, Dray and Transfer. 404 Tom Smart Safe and Piano moving. D; d baggage. Rone Not s 618 America Ave. Phone No. 58 Are You Going to Build? It so write to A.G. LE VASSEUR tor'plans and specifications, Modern Plans. Careful Estimates. A.G.LE VASSEUR, qrand Rapids, runn. What better sign of faith in this RHEUMATISM Catarrh, Backache, Kidney Trouble CURE can I give than to guarantee that if one- half of the first bottle of Matt J Johnson’s 6088 does not give satisfactory results you can return the half bottle and I will refund your money. Prepared at laboratory of Matt J. Johnsen Co.. St. Paul, Mi Guaramecd under the Food nnd Drugs Act, June 30, 1906. No. 2029. For Sale and Guaranteed by | Barker’s Drug Storel Star Theatre Now Open Moving Pictures Illustrated Songs High - Class YVaudeville Acts Now Open Kodol Dyspepsia Gure Digests what you eat. FOLEYSHONEY-~TAR for children; safe, sure. No oplates DeWitt’s Y Salve GLYDE J. PRYOR |~ A, d. RUTLEDCE; Business Manager Maceging Bditor Tntered in the postoffice at Bemidji. Minn., a8 second class matter. SUBSCRIPTION---$5.00 PER ANNUM — A Wonderful Dog. I ran a news stand at Port Jervis, IN. Y. | owned a cowmon shepherd i{dog which was a very intelligent anj- {mal and was of great assistauce to me in the newspaper business, run- i ning across the street with papers in his mouth to custowmers. He attracted much attention, and he got me many new custowers, for everybody liked him, he was such a business dog. I was sick one day and not able to sell my papers. My dog came in my room where I lay in bed. He fumbled around in my pants pockets and took the keys to my uews stand and ran out of the house, and the first thing I knew he had the newspaper stand opened up and doing business. He was very clever In making change, changing five and ten dollar bills without a single mistake, work- Ing the cash register with his paws, and everything ran smoothly until a man came up and passed him' a lead quarter. My dog got mad and lost his temper entirely, and I was forced to Interfere. With much trouble I man- aged to pull them apart. If this dog had not had such a quick temper I would have started him in business for himself. This dog is still lving.—Boston Post. Crushed by Beecher. Henry Ward Beecher was once ap- proached by a young man who con- sldered himself very clever. “Do you know, Mr. Beecher,” said he, “I've been thinking that I would settle down. Now, I like your preach- ing, but when I go to your church and see such men as old S. and others, the core, sitting there in full member- ship, why, the thing Is just a little too much for me, and really,” he added, “I cannot join.” er. “Every church has such men, and I fancy Plymouth Is not free from ways wondered why the good Lord permitted it. Now I understand.” “Ah,” gurgled the young fellow, “I am glad I have thrown light on the question! What strikes you as the reason, Mr. Beecher?” “Well,” replied the great preacher, “4t Is permitted in order to keep just such fools as you out of the churches.” The Nearest Approach. An English tourist visited Arran and being a keen disciple of Izaak Wal- ton was arranging to have a day's good sport. Being told that the cleg, or horsefly, would sult his purpose ad- mirably for a lure, he addressed him- self to Christy, the highland servant girl, “I say, my girl, can you get me some horseflies?” Christy looked stupid, and he repeat- ed his question. Finding that she did not yet comprehend him, he exclaimed: “Why, girl, did you never see & horsefly 2" “Naa, sir,” sald the girl, “but a wanse saw a coo jump ower a preshi- plce.” Grandfather's Portrait. A villager, intensely conceited and ignorant, but quite wealthy, was per- suaded to have his grandfather’s pic- ture repainted. The artist, not having been decently treated by the villager, drew the por- trait almost in a nude form. Rolling it up, he told the man not to look at it before the coming New Year. On that day the villager ordered the pic- ture to be hung up that he might pay it his New Year respects. As it was being unrolled he frantically waved his hands and shouted: “Wait! Wait! The old gentleman Is not ready, for he is not yet dressed.”—From the Chi- nese. The Worth of His Money. Not seldom in highland districts the attendance at church during unpropi- tlous weather is but scanty. One min- Ister, finding himself on a bolsterous Sunday confronted with but one soli- tary auditor, who happened to be a gruff, outspoken character, took him into his. confidence, with a view to propitiate him. “WIll' I go on with the sermon, John?’ John answered gruff- ly, “Of course.” Getting into the pul- pit and leaning over it, he asked, “Will 1 give you the Gaelic sermon or the English one?” “Gie’s baith. Ye're weel paid for 't sald John, more gruffly still.—Dundee Advertiser. Bituminous Coal. Shortly after the adoption of bitu- minous coal as a fuel in England a royal proclamation was used forbid- ding its use and authorizing the de- struction of the furnaces of the users, who were characterized as evil doers. Scarcity of fuel, It seems, shortly com- pelled the resumption of its use. In the reign of Elizabeth bituminous coal was again prohibited during ses- slons of parliament lest the health of the members suffer thereby.—London Telegraph. The Richest. That country is the richest which nourishes the greatest number of no- ble and happy human beings; that man is the richest who, having per- fected the functions of his own life to the ntmost, has also the widest help- ful influence, both personal and by means of his possessions, over the lives of others.—John Ruskin. A Philosopher. Frances Willard once wrote to a friend who had just lost a daughter: “Dear Sister Anna, how much richer are you than I! Here I sit alone with- out a child to die, while you are mother to an angel.” The Hat Scale. A fitty dollar hat is a concelt. A thirty dollar hat is a confection. A two dollar hat Is a sin and a shame For Piles, Burns, Sorés. and a perfect justification for golng home to mother.—Pittaburg Post. | | | | i SO | Gentle Maid (behind her fan)—It Is surely coming. 1 am so nervous and frightened. I know he is going to be terribly dramatie, 1 do hope I shan’t bave to help him up off his knees. Goodness, why doesn’t he say sowe- thing? [ must break this horrible si- lence. (Aloud, recklessly) Have yau ever been abroad? Gallaht - Man (smilingly)—No. I'm saving it for a wedding tour. Gentle Mald (demurely)—Why, how funny; so am L Gallant Man (meaningly) shouldn’t we take it together Gentle Muaid (Innocently)—Possibly your wife and my husband might ob- Ject to going in such a crowd. Gallant Man (brilliantly)—The crowd ‘wouldn’t be objectionably large If your husband and my wife were husband and wife. (Further conversation was disjointed and indistinet).—Pearson’s Weekly, 'hen why Where Animals Beat Men. “Nature faking aside” said the zoo keeper, “mice won't eat oleo. It is a fact. Lay a pat of oleo and a pat of butter side by side and in the morning the butter will be gone, but the oleo will remain untouched. “Oh, yes, some animals are incredi- bly nice about their food. The otter, when living wild, will only eat one plece, one mouthful out of each fish he catches. He will land a beautiful trout, but only one bite of it from the back, just behind the neck, Is good enough for him. The rest he tosses aside. 'This epicure often kills a dozen fine, big trout to make one meal. “Chimpanzees have very delicate tastes. A banana or a pineapple that to you seems delicious to a chimpan- zee may be revolting. His taste is keener. Grapes grown in hothouses where sulphur fumes are used as an insecticide taste all right to a man, but a chimpanzee will have none of them. “The ichneumon loves eggs. He can tell a fresh from a stale one simply grasping skinflints and hypocrites to| Dy tapping the shell.”’—Los Angeles Times. “Copy Reading” Howells. The London Atheneum says of the “Well, you're right,” said Mr. Beech- following Howells paragraph that it is the best sentence perhaps in any re- cent English book. Describing a cer- them, and until you spoke I have al- | taln ancient edifice, Mr. Howells writes and the Atheneum quotes: “What, in the heart of all this blos- soming, was the great cathedral it- self when we came in sight of it but a vast efflorescence of the age of faith, mystically beautiful in form and gray as some pale exhalation from the mold of the ever cloistered the deeply reforested past.” Very ' fine, all must admit. But wouldn’t that paragraph have been meat and drink to the man who used to mark up Mr. Howells’ newspaper copy back at Bucyrus, O. If Howells the reporter had written that for the Bucyrus Blade he would have found it in the paper next day about like this: “The cathedral. with flowers all around it, looks fine. It is 400 years old and needs paint.”—Galveston News, Thought Nine Enough. The following amusing birth notice appeared in the Dresden Anzeiger: “To our seven hearty boys there came today, in God’s early morning, not the wished for Ilittle daughter, but, in compensation, a pair of fine boys. We Judge by this elementary event that these strenuous times demand more men than blossoms of the gentler sex, and console ourselves with thoughts of our fatherland, to which we call: “Hurrah! Hurrah! Now there are nine. Firm stand and true the watch on the Rhine! “To all dear friends and acquaint- ances and to whom else the joyous tidings may be of interest we give this notice—the last of its kind—Eduard Rost and wife.”” A Bargain. Mr. Mason rubbed the edges of the umbrella with discriminating fingers while his wife listened to the saleswo- man’s enumeration of its good points. “This is $10, isn’t it?” he asked. “Oh, no,” replied the saleswoman re- proachfully. “It is $9.89.” “She seems to regard the 11 cents as particularly invidious. I wonder why?” ‘whispered Mr. Mason to his wife. “Not at all,” sald Mrs. Mason, with mild heat; “nothing ‘invidious’ about it. Only very naturally it touched the glrl not to have you perceive that you ‘were getting a bargain.”—Youth’s Com- panion, Cautious. A five-year-old girl was very 1, and, noticing the anxiety of her parent, she sald, “Mamma, do you think I'm golng todie?” “No, my dear,” replied the mother, “we think you will soon be better.” “Well,” said the little one, “I'd like to die and go to heaven on a visit if I ‘was sure I could come back if I didn’t like t.he place.”—Chicago News. Looked That Way. “I don’t think she’ll ever marry him,” sald Mrs. Henpeck. “She quarrels with him so and is so domineering that”— “She is?” interrupted Henpeck. “I'll bet they’ve been secretly married al- ready!”—Philadelphia Press. All Alone In That Class. Mr. Hunker—I have merely a speak- ing acquaintance with Miss Throck- morton. Mr. Spatts—You are very lucky. All her other acquaintances are listening acquaintances.—Stray Stories. to be built through a swamp, being energetic himself and used to sur- mounting obstacles, was surprised when. one of his young leutenants whom he had ordered to take twenty men and enter the s\wamp sald that he could not do it—the mud was too deep. The colonel ordered him to try. He did so and returned with his men cov- ered with mud. “Colonel, the mud I8 over my men's heads. I can’t do It.” The colonel !nsisted and told him to make a requisition for anything that was necessary for a safe passage. The lleutenant made his requisition in writing and on the spot. It was as follows: “I want twenty men eighteen feet long to cross a swamp fifteen feet deep.”—Harper's Weekly. The “Nagur” and the Fiddle. Here is a story that Frederick Doug- lass used to tell about himself: Once when he was in Dublin he felt very lonesome. He was wandering about the streets when he was attracted by two violins in the window of a second- hand dealer. Frederick entered and asked the price of one of the instru- ments. “Five shillings, sor,” said the Irish dedler. Frederick tuned the violin and began to play “Rocky Road to Dublin.” Soon the proprietor’s wife heard the music and entered the rear door. Then Fred- erick started in on “The Irish Washer- woman,” and the couple began to dance for dear life. When the music and dancing stopped Frederick ten- dered the dealer 5 shillings, but his performance on the violin had greatly enhanced its value in the mind of the storekeeper, and as he hurried away to a place of security he exclaimed: “If a black nagur can git such chunes out of that fiddle I'll never sell it at any price, begorrah!” An English Fling. “High buildings, sir?” remarked an American contemptuously. “Why, in England you don't know what height is. Last time I was in New York it was a blazing hot day, and 1 saw a man coming out of a lift wrapped i from top to toe in bearskins, and I said to him, “Why are you muffled up on a broiling day like this? ‘Waal,’ he i sald, ‘you see, I live at the top of the buildin’, and it’s so high that it's cov- | ered with snow all the year round! "~ | London Mail. The Innocent. Plaisantin offered in payment of a bill a gold piece which had a suspicious ring. “Here, you've given me one of | those fake coins that the counterfeit- ers have just been arrested for mak- ing,” said the merchant. “Impossible,” answered Plaisantin. “It is dated 1863. If it were false surely it would have been found out before this.” Not a Plunger, “This scheme of mine,” said the pro- moter, “will make you rich.” “Maybe,” said the plain, easy going man. “But if I had the money neces- sary to take the chance I'd feel so rich that there would be no need of going any further.”—Washington Star. The remedial effects of laughter are really wonderful. Cases have been known where a hearty laugh has ban- ished disease and preserved life by a sudden effort of nature. WHEN HER BACK ACHES, A Woman Finds all Her Energy and Ambition Slipping Away. Bemidji. women know how the aches and pains that come when the kidneys fail make life a burden. Backache, hip pains, headache, dizzy spells, distressing urinary troubles, all tell of sick kidneys and warn you of the stealthy approach of diabetes, dropsy and Bright’s disease. Doan’s Kidney Pills per- manently cure all these disorders. Here’s proof of it in a Bemidji woman’s words: 5 Mrs. Edward Jewett, living at 1112 Park Ave., Bemidji, Minn., says: “I am recommending Doan’s Kidney Pills and from actual ex- perience I know them to be a reli- able remedy. I did not take them as carefully as I might have, but still, the results received were satis- factory. The atiack always came on with a dull ache in my back and while they were at their height, I felt weak and miserable. I sent to the Owl Drug Store and procured a box of Doan’s Kidney Pills. They helped me right away and I am well pleased with the results re- ceived.” For sale by all dealers. Price 50 cents. Foster-Milburn Co., Buffalo, New York, sole agents for the United States. Remember the name—Doan’s— and take no other. There Is Only One That Is Always remember the full name. atie T it LI, K AR htthh‘dgnmnwurybu 260. ““Bromo Quinine’’ Laxative Bromo Qcininc USED THE WORLD OVER TO OURE A OOLD IN ONE DAY. | & venerable, mild eyed clergyman gaz- i turb the slumber of the inmates) out but the lady regards him as a dreamer of impossible dreams. “Do you know,” she remarked, “that genius and fmbe- | cllity are twin brothers? The world regards John as a genlus. Now, there are times when I believe him to be an 1diot.” A painful sllence followed, broken by a blunt old doctor who had over- beard the remark. “Are we to understand, madam,” he said, “that Professor Y., though your husband, 18 so lightly esteemed by you?” “I say what I think,” she retorted “At times John Is unmistakably an 1dlot.” “Merely because he 1s your hus- band?” “Sirr” “Oh, very well,” was the grim re- Joinder. “We will put it another way: He is your husband because he is an fdlot. Wil that do?’ — Pearson’s Weekly. The Folklore of Puss. Puss has earped the reputation of being weatherwise. Good weather may be expected when “tabby” washes her- self, but bad when she licks herself against the grain or sits with her tail to the fire. Formerly in Scotland when a family removed from one house to another the family cat was always taken as a pro- tectlon against disease. It is curlous to find the opposite practice obtaining in Ireland, where it is considered high- ly unlucky for a family to take with them a cat when they are “flitting,” Building Lyumber and Material We carry in stock at all times a complete line of Lumber and Building Material, Dimensions, ete. Look us up for your winter supply of Coal and Wood We have a large supply St. Hilaire Retail Lbr. Co. BEMIDJI, MINN. especially so if they have to cross a river. There is a popular belief that a cat born in the month of May is of no use whatever for catching rats and mice, but exerts an injurious influence on the house through bringing into it disagreeable reptiles of varlous kinds, says Woman’s Life. In Scotland black cats are supposed to bring not only good luck, but also lovers, in {llustration of which may be quoted the well known rhyme: ‘Whenever the cat o' the house is black, | The lasses o' lovers will have no lack. The Burglar. A burglar was one night engaged in the pleasing occupation of stowing a| good haul of swag in his bag when he ‘was startled by a touch upon his shoul- der, and, turning his head, he beheld ing sadly at him. “Oh, my brother,” groaned the rev- erend gentleman, “wouldst thou rob me? Turn, I beseech you—turn from thy evil ways. Return those stolen| goods and depart in peace, for I am merciful and forgive. Begone!” And the burglar, only too thanlkful at not being given into custody of the police, obeyed and slunk swiftly off. Then the good old man carefully and quletly packed the swag into another bag and walked softly (so as not to dis- of the house and away into the silent night. For he, too, was a burglar. H. A. SIMONS, Agent. BUY A GOOD LOT With the growth of Bemidji good lots are becoming scarcer and scarcer. We still have a number of good lots in the residence part of town which will be sold on easy terms. For further particulars write or call Bemidji Townsite and Im- provement Company. Swedback Block, Bemidji. PILES CURED IN 6 TO 14 DAYS PAZO OINTMENT is guaranteed to cure any case of Ttching, Blind. Bleeding or Protruding Piles in 6 to 14 days or money ,refunded. 50c. Subseribe For The Pioneer. BLANK BOOKS A large consignment of Day Books, Ledgers, Cash Books and Journals, have just been received and the stock is com- plete and will give the buyer a good good selection from which to make his choice. MEMORANDUM BOOKS Our line is the most complete assort- ment in Northern Minnesota. We have books from the very cheapest to the very best leather bound book or cover. BEMIDJI PIONEER Stationery Department