Bemidji Daily Pioneer Newspaper, April 11, 1907, Page 4

. W s A [ FOURNIER ON STAND IN - RIS OWN BEHALF Continued from first page. witnesses for the defense, and was sustained. On cross-examination Mr. Bailey reiterated that although the time of the investigation was nearly three years ago, he re- membered what Mrs. Caldwell had said. Also that Loud had not prevented her from telling all she might have known. Wit- ness recalled that the grand jury had indicted Fournier and Wes- ley. He could not recall, how- ever, how many different times Mrs. Caldwell had appeared be- fore the graud jury, and whether it was before or after Fournier and Wesley were indicted. J P.Lahr, who was also a member of the grand jury fall of 1904, was called and stated he only attended the session three or four days, having been ex- cused. County Attorney Loud had been present and questioned Mrs. Caldwell, and she had been allowed to tell all she knew. On cross-examination, witness stated he did not know what had been done while he was away from the sessions. H. J. Loud called. Wituess testified that when he had been county attorney had questioned Mrs, Caldwell and tried to get all he could out of her concerning murder. On cross-examination Mr. tified as N. O, Dahl’s and satated thet from his knowledge and ex- perience a 38 40 low velocity, soit nose.bullet fired at a distance of 200 yards would make hole as large as its own siza. Also that 303 Savage bullet high velocity fired same distance would imme- diately mushroom upon entrance. On cross-examination ~ Mr, Loud stated that he had acquired bis knowledge of fire arms as a side issue. In his opinion & man with good aim dould hit a man in the head at 200 yards after dark. There would be no powder marks on cap or skull. Witness believed that .303 cartridge entering skull would have mushroomed upon entrance. Re-direct examination of H. J. Loud. What did you do with Four- nier when coming down from Quiring the first time he was arrested? Stopped at camps. Fournier was fres, and could have run away if he had wanted too. Cross examination. Did you catch him, or did he catch you? Thought it was necessary to arrest him, Witness was led back to am- munition subject and stated if .303 cartridge had made hole in skull it would have mushroomed. Mushroom bullet would make larger hole at exit than entrance. As the Pioneer goes to press the state is placing some witness- es on the stand in rebuttal. Funkley asked Loud: You indicted Wesley and Fournier, did you expect to hang them? No. BE. E. McDonald called. Wituess stated he had been county attorney during 1906, and knew Paul Fournier. Saw Owen Fournier at Matt Haffaer’s March 1906, What did Owen Fournier say to you? That Cy had lied; he knew Paul was innocent. On cross-examination Mr, Mc- Donald stated he had been attor- ney for Paul Fournier from the time he was first arrested until discharged. Don't you feel a kindly interest towards your clients? Don’t want to say I have an un- friendly interest. Could you have prosecuted Paul Fournier after defending him? I could not. On re-direct examination Mr. Scrutchin stated he proposed to show that Mr. McDonald had conferred with the court and at- torney general, and had agreed to step aside and allow other pro- secution. Witness volunteered thatabout one-fifth of his time as county attorney had been devoted to attempting to punish the Dahl murderers. By the court—I shall not trav- el over country adjusting mat- ters between attorneys. Mrs. Cy Fournier called. Witness lives at Turtie River and knows Owen Fournier. Had seen him the day after the pre- liminary hearing in January. Owen Fournier had said: “You know there is a reward out for the conviction of Dahl murderers, and if my testimony will con- vict Paul Fournier, I am going to give it and get the reward.” On cross-examination witness stated that words used were practically as uttered. Owen had said he was going to see Mr. Funkley about it. Robert Logan called. Witness stated that during month of March, Owen Fournier had told him that he was going to get even with Paul if it took him all his life. H. J. Loud re called. Mr. Loud stated he had some experience with gun-shot wounds and use of firearms. He had read considerable on the subject and had also had some experience in homicide cases. Witness said there were two general types of ammunition, lew and high velo- city. Witness was shown skull iden- New Bath Rooms 1 have just put in bath tubs m my bar- ber shop. Bath rooms open Sunday forex oons. FOUCAULTS BARBER SHOP Basement First National Bank Building Fournier will be the last witness called by the defense, and the case will reach the jury some time tomorrow. Menu for Men’s Supper To be given by the men ' to- morrow evening in the Schroeder building, first door east of First National bank. MENU Lettuce Parsley Dill Pickles Swift Premium Ham Strictly Fresh Eggs Macaroni and Tomatoes’ German Fried Potatoes Bread Butter Yale Coffee “Bemidji Chief” Pancakes, ‘Maple Syrup DY UV VPCVVUVVIUVPVEVIVN TOO LATE TO CLASSIFY. WANTED—For U. S. army, able- bodied, unmarried men be- tween ages of 19 and 385, citi- z2ns of United States, of guod character and temperate habits, who can speak, read and write English. For in- formation apply to Recruiting Officer, Miles Block, Bemidji, Mina. WANTED—For the U. 8. Marine Corps; men between the ages of 21and 85. An opportunity to see the world. For full'm- formation apply in person or by letter to 208 Third street. LOST—Between Bemidji and Gus Berg’s farm, a mouth speculum for horse. Finder please leave at City Drug store or my office and get reward. H. Ingalls, V. S. How Clouds and Fogs Differ. Clouds are bodies of moisture evapo- rated from the earth and agaln partial- ly condensed in the upper regions of the air. Fogs differ from clouds only In one respect—they come in contact with the surface of the earth while clouds are elevated above our heads. ‘When the surface of the earth s warmer than the lower air the vapor of the earth, being condensed by the chill air, becomes mist or fog. But when the lower air is warmer than the earth the vapor rises through the air and be- comes cloud. Fog and mist differ In this respect—that mist is a fine rain, ‘while fog is vapor not sufficiently cor densed to allow of its precipitation in drops. t E A Suggestive. “Miriam,” said her mother, “have you ever given young Mr. Stapleford any reason to believe you cared for him enough to marry him?” “He seems to think so,” answered the daughter, “because I told him the other evening that he was sending me too many costly flowers and ought to begin to save ‘his money.”—Chicago Tribune. They Began Early. Gummey—Women’s “habit of going to their husbands for money is as old as the human race. Gargoyle—That can’t be, for the human race had no such thing as money for many ages. Gummey—Nevertheless Eve got .a “bone” from Adam. Physical Culture. $ Police Surgeon (to would be cop)— How is it, my man, that your right arm is developed out of all preportion to the rest of you? Italian Applicant— Grinda da org’, shina da fruit, roosta da peanut.—Puck. The English billion is 1,000 times greater than the American, “Tipping” In Europe. According to immemorial usage, Eu- ropean servants are entitled to tips as an assared part of their income. At the hotels the theory is that the land- lord furnishes a guest a private room and the use of the public .rooms, heat and light, food and dishes, but not menial service. For convenience he keeps at hand a corps of servants who will respond to the guest’s summons, but at his expense. In old times trav- elers were attended by thelr own serv- ants to wait on them. The modern custom echoes the ‘ancient. The trav- eler no longer carries with him a ret- inue of servants, because he can hire temporarily those of the landlord. The customary fees are the payment. To avold feeing is really to cheat the serv- ants, who need all they can get, heav- en knows. A chambermaid at the best hotels receives as wages only about $2 a month. Tipping servants in America is a regrettable imitation of the Euro- pean custom without its resting on the reasonable basis of the foreign institu- tions.—Travel Magazine. Told Who He Was. The game warden of Colorado was walking out in the mountains on one occasion when he met a hunter with his gun. The official suggested that that ought to be a good country for hunting. “It certainly is,” said the hunter proudly. “I killed one of the finest bucks yesterday I ever saw, and he weighed over two hundred.” It was the season when deer may uot he shor without subjecting the hunter to a heavy fine. “Well, that is a fine one,” said the warden, “and do you know who you are talking to?” Being assur- ed that he did not, the official said. “Why, I am the chief game warden of Colorado.” The hunter was only taken aback for a moment, when he asked, “And do you know who you are talk- ing to?” The warden didn't know. “Well, sir,” said the hunter, appar- ently much relieved, “vou are talking to the biggest liar in the whole state of Colorado.”—Kansas City Star. The Primitive Violin. In its primitive form the violin a direct development of the lyre and monochord—the strings from the for- mer and the elongated box, with its sound holes, finger board and movable bridge, from the latter. The history of the violin began with the invention of the bow some time before the thir- teenth century, when the voile, or vielle, used by the troubadours, made its ap- pearance. This instrument underwent many changes until the middle of the sixteenth century, when the true violin model appeared. The primitive violin had little or no contour. It was not until the thirteenth century that the vielle was scooped out at the waist. The corner blocks were added in the fifteenth century and are attributed to Germany. For nearly a century the sound holes were shifted all over the instrument before they were cut in their proper place and the bridge fixed between them.—Circle Magazine. was Two of a Kind. A revival meeting was in progress, and Sister Jones was called upon for testimony. Being meek and humble, she said: “I do not feel as though I should stand here and give testimony. I have been a transgressor for a good many years and have only recently seen the light. I believe that my place is in a dark corner, behind the door.” Brother Smith was next called upon for his testimony and, following the example set by Sister Jones, said: “I, too, have been a sinner for more than forty years, and I do not think it would be fitting for me to stand before this assembly as a model. I think my place is behind the door, in a dark corner, with Sister Jones.” And he wondered why the meeting was convulsed with the laughter of those who came to pray. Don't Whisk Your Hat. Never use a whisk broom to clean a hat, either stiff or soft, particuiarly a soft hat, as it gradually removes the ‘fine surface originally on the hat. The ‘worst effect, however, is the wearing away of the band and binding by such rough usage. The effect is more quickly shown on the best grades of bands and binding. A fine hair brush, one of curved shape, made especially to use under the curl of the hat, is good. Best of all, however, is a thick plece of woolen cloth. Such pieces are now made in the form of pads, with a strap across the back, so that they can be held securely in the hand.— American Hatter. Striking Originality. “Your husband is not looking well tonight, Mrs. Rhymer.” “He isn’t, and I'm not surprised at it.” “No? Has he been overworking him- self?” “It isn’t that so much. It's his origi- nality. Why, that man is struck by so many original ideas that his mind must be one mass of bruises.” Spoiled. “Publishers insist on spoiling a great many manuscripts, don’t they?” said the literary young woman. “Undoubtedly,” answered the book- seller. “A lot of ’em look a heap bet- ter typewritten and tied up with a rib- bon than they do in print.”—Washing- ton Star. All That Saved Him. “Yes, sir, he was obliged to go in the snake country, so he took a gallon of Georgla corn along with him.” “And how did he make out?” “Splendid! Got so full and wabbled 80 the snakes missed him every time they struck at him!’—Atlanta Consti- tution. Laughing cheerfulness throws sun- light on all the paths of life.—Richter. The Fata Morgana. The most singular aerial phenomenon is the fata morgana, a sea mirage seen off the coast of Calabria and between Italy and Sicily. It presents the phan- toms of cities, houses, temples, palaces and ships, sometimes in their proper .position, sometimes inverted, occasion- ally at an angle. The phenomenon has been known for many ages and.for- merly occasioned great and widespread alarm, being regarded as an evil omen that betokened some general and se- vere calamity. The Story of a Word. A comparison of old editions of 3eott’s “Monastery” with one of later date will revea) a slight alteration in the text of a sentence in the tenth chapter. For the word “morse” an- sther is substituted. A tale of comedy attaclies to the word which has gone. “Hardened wretch,” says Father Eus- tace, “art thou but this instant deliv- 2red from death, and dost thou so soon morse thoughts of slaughter?’ The rigin of the word morse seems sore- Iy to have troubled the etymologists. T'wo learned correspondents of Notes and Queries, Mr, Wheatley tells us, accounted for the word. One explain- ed it as “to prime,” as when one primes 1 musket, from O. Fr. “amorce,” pow- fer for the touchhole (Cotgrave), and the other by “to bite” (Lat. “mordere”); hence “to indulge in biting, stinging or gnawing thoughts of slaughter.” On the other side were those who said that the word was a misprint for something else. “That the word as a misprint should have been printed and read by willions for fifty years without being challenged and altered exceeds the bounds of probability,” exclaimed the apologists for morse. But when the manuscript was examined there “nurse’” was the word, plainly written.—St. TJames' Gazette. s Paid in Full., Two young ladies, evidently stenog- raphers, were having an animated dis- cussion while on their way to work the oiber :oruinz in a Market street car. The discussion revolved around the question as to the best method to Impress their respective employers as to the value of their services. “Do you know,” said the smaller of the two, “my former employer was the worst old granny. He could not spell the simplest words correctly, and he couldn’t pronounce thew. One day I thought I would impress him with the value of my services. He gave me a letter to typewrlte, and I just went along and copied it as he handed it to me. Then I made a second copy with all the misspelled words correct- ed. With beaming countenance I hand- ed him both copies.” “What did he do?” breathlessly ask- ed her friend, forcing the conductor to hold his car so that she might alight at her corner and at the same time hear the answer, “He fired me.” was the reply.—Phil- adelphia Record. Held Their Own. A regiment of regulars was making a long, dusty march across the rolling prairie land of Montana during a re- cent summer. It was a hot, blistering day, and the men, longing for water and rest, were impatient to reach the next town. A rancher rode past. “Say, friend,” called out one of the men, “how far Is it to the next town?” “Oh, a matter of two miles or so, I reckon,” called back the rancher. Another long hour dragged Ly, and another rancher was encountered. “How far to the next town?” the men asked him eager- ly. “Ob, a gocd two miles.” A weary half hour longer of marching, and then a third rancher. “Hey, how far’s the next town?’ Yot far,* was the en- couraging answi “only about two 7 “Well,” sighed an optimistic srgeant, “we're holdin’ our own any- how,” A Slight Mistake. Chitto Harjo was pleading in Wash- ington for the Indians’ right to roam in nomad fashion, like their fathers. “They teil us to trust to fortune,” Chitto Harjo =aid. “and then we’ll get our rights. But we are tired of trust- Ing to fortune. IFortune has used us Indians as it used the pale face in- structress at the Indian school in 1897.” Chitto Harjo smiled and went on: “This instruciress found a horsesioe, and to get good fortune put it under her pillow, along with her false teeth. In the morning in the hurry of dress- ing, she substituted the shoe for the teeth and.did not discover her mistake d husband asked her in or at breakfast what was the matter with her mouth.”” When Oregon Was In the Balance. There is no boundary in the world of greater political importance than the forty-ninth parallel, which divides Canada from the United States. When this boundary was under discussion, the Pacific coast was almost inaccessi- ble, and the ownership of Oregon, now a state of vast wealth, with opulent cities and a teeming population, was in the balance. The matter was set- tled by the report of Captain Temple, a brother of Lord Palmerston, who wrote to the admiralty “that the coun- try was not worth a cuss because the salmon would not take a fly.”—Man- chester Chronicle. The Only Way. “I am writing an article,” he said, “on ‘The Way to Manage a Woman.’”" “I suppose it will be a long one,” she replied in a slightly scornful tone. “No,” he answered, “it will be quite short. In fact, it will consist of only two words—Don't try! "—Birmingham Post. Long Wi “Grandpa. how old are you?” “l am eighty-seven years old, my dear.” “Then you were born eighty years before 1 was. What a long time you had alone waiting for me!” Worse Stil Griggs—The idea of your letting your wife go round saying she made a man of you! You don’t hear my wife saying that. Briggs—No, but I heard her telling my wife that she did her best. The preparation of canvas for paint- ers is a luerative trade. Moths and Butterflies. Some moths look very much like but- terflies, but there are two ways in which you can always tell the ome from the other. Each has little slen- der feelers growing from the head, but the butterfly’s feelers, or antennae, as they arve called, have knobs on the ends. The antennae of the moth some- times have tiny feathers on them and sometimes little spires, but thy are never knobbed. Then, too, in alight- ing the butterfly always holds her wings erect, while the moth’s droop or are nearly flat. LEAF BLIGHT. It Frequently Causes Much Damage to the Strawberry Crop. Strawberry leaf blight frequently causes great damage to the straw- berry crop, as explained by a grower in Rural New Yorker, who says that it makes its appearance about the time the fruit sets and begins its de- structive ravages as the berries begin to ripen. It first manifests itself by turning the leaves a brownish red; it will then attack the fruit stems and hulls, cutting off the supply of nourish- ment from the berrles; the calyx be- gins to wither and dry up, and the berries become soft and insipid and are of little value. As the Berry Season Advances. It usually grows more destructive as the berry season advances. The condi- tions conducive to the development of the disease appear to be a general weakness of the plants. This may be brought about from various causes, such as old and wornout beds, im- poverished soil, plants with a heavy set of fruit with insufficient nourish- ment, plants exposed during winter ‘without protection or unmulched beds during hot, dry weather. Any one of these conditions will have a tendency to weaken the constitution of the plants, making them an easy prey to rust, blight and other diseases. Kinds Susceptible to Blight. During the time we have been en- gaged in growing strawberries we have found some varieties so consti- tutionally strong in thelr vegetative parts and so vigorous in their fruit organs that they will do well almost anywhere, while other sorts are con- stitutionally weak In foliage, yet strong in fruit bearing propensities. They set a great quantity of berries with little or no vitality to mature the fruit. Such varieties are very suscept- Ible to blight and should not be cultl- vated except by those who are well acquainted with their natural require- ments. It requires a healthy, vigorous folidge to digest the various plant foods found in the different soils, and probably the safest method of protect- Ing the plants from blight and other fungous diseases is to conserve mois- ture by thorough cultivation while the plants are growing, protecting them well during the winter with a liberal mulch of horse manure. This material if left on the plant during the summer prevents the escape of moisture at a time It is most needed, and it keeps the soil cool—in fact, it is to the bear- Ing bed what the cultivation is to the newly planted field. THE LINCOLN PLUM. A Variety of Rare Beauty and Excel- lent For Market. The Lincoln plum here shown is de- scribed by the Ohio experiment station as being a variety of rare beauty and excellent for market, one of the best second early plums; quite free from rot in some seasois; first blossoms May 7, full bloom May 10, last blos- soms May 15; in full fruitage Aug. 15. Fruit large to very large, roundish oblong, blunt at apex, slightly necked: THE LINCOLN PLUM. stem long and strong and set at an angle; suture distinct, slightly depress- ed; color light greenish yellow, over- spread with a beautiful shade of crim- son; dots many, very minute and in- distinct; bloom, thin lilac; flesh light yellow, firm; pit rather large, free; quality sonly fair; tree only a mod- erate grower, but healthy, and forms a round, shapely head; foliage very luxuriant; leaves large; quite prolific, but not so much so as to require thin- ning of the fruit. Rough Feeds. Rough feeds, including pasture, are usually so plentiful that frequently we feed them without any idea as to what and how much will produce the de- sired results. Much rough feed is wasted in careless feeding. The cow will eat the best of her menu first and if given too much will pick the most desirable morsels, leaving what might be called passably good, which too frequently is treated as waste and thrown underfoot. No more hay should be given an animal than it will eat up clean. This refers to first class quali- ty, however, as we could not expect a cow to eat up clean a poor quality of hay. Poultry Products and Wheat. The values of poultry products now reach an annual figure of half a bil- lion dollars or more, or, an .amount about equal to the value of the wheat crop. The price of eggs has been high and growing higher for several years, because consumers have wanted more eggs than have been produced. The exports are not worth mentioning. Ap- parently there is no limit to the con- sumption of fresh eggs at a moderate price.—G. K. Holmes. A Lasting Impression. “Well, Bertha, I hear you met Mr. Cooke yesterday. Did you like him?" “Do you know, dear, he made an im- pression upon me that nothing will ob- fterate.” “Really! - How—what did he say?’ “It wasn’t what he said; it was ‘what he did. He spilled a cup of tea over my new white silk dress.” - Succeeded. “She married him to reform him.” “Did she succeed?” “Sure! He used to be a spendthrift rand now he has rothing to spend.’— . Houston Post. IN NEBRASKA. Best Results of Various Experimente With Alfalfa. In Cheyenne county, Neb, Broit brothers have been experimenting with alfalfa nine years, reports a western man in Orange Judd Farmer. At first they sowed alfalfa seed broadeast, ‘Wwhich s the common method under fr- rigation. An experience of nine years has shown them that broadcast seed- ing does not give the best results in dry seasons. At an elevation of some- thing more than 4,000 feet there is not always sufficlent moisture during the driest seasons to perfect a good crop of seed when grown by the broadcast method. Using a Two Row Cultivator. In the course of their experiments Brott brothers have tested drilling in elghteen to twenty-two inch drills. They have found that in drills of this Wwidth the kind Bf cultivation that can be given to the alfalfa plant in narrow rows does not sec 4 the best results. During the more recent years they have tested seedinz alfalfa for a seed crop in drills thirty-six to forty inches apart. This allows the use of a two row cultivator, enabling a man with a good team on half mile rows to culti- vate eighteen to twenty acres daily. They find that to secure the best re- sults in conserving moisture they should cultivate to the depth of four inches, cultivating four to five times during the season. It Pods Freely. On these high table lands alfalfa drilled in rows thirty-six to forty inches apart branches widely, pods freely and develops a better seed crop than un- der any other method so far tested. It 18 their purpose to cultivate 130 acres of alfalfa the coming season and to enlarge their plant as rapidly as they can break the prairie and get the land under cultivation. The method which they mow pursue is to place fields under cultivation in the early spring, thus conserving the winter moisture, then keep the soil loose and in good tilth until tHe st of August and seed with a drill. This method avoids a weed crop. SEED CORN TEST. Important Point In Securing a Good Stand In the Field. For testing corn take a tight wooden box eighteen inches square and four to six inches deep (or of some convenient GOOD EARS OF WHITS CORN. dlmensions), put in two or three inches of moist sand and cover with a piece of white muslin which has been ruled into squares about two inches across. Have the seed corn laid on a table or shelf where it will not be disturbed. From the first ear take kernels from near the butt, middle and tip of ear, then turn the ear over and take three more kernels from the other side. Place these six kernels In the first check or square (No. 1); take six ker- nels from the second ear and place in the second square (No. 2), etc., until you have sampled all of the ears. €over the grain carefully with another plece of cloth about the same size as the box and also with a second piece of cloth enough larger to extend up on the sides to the top of the box. Put In one or two inches more of molst sand and keep the box in the ordinary lving room temperature of the house. Add more water if the sand becomes too dry. The corn should germinate in from three to five days. Those ears whose kernels do not all germinate in five days should be discarded. Veteh Pasture In Spring. In western Oregon and Washington, where fall sown vetch matures for bhay in June and rains are not infre- | quent at this season of the year, it is quite a common practice to pasture it In the early spring—March and April— to keep the growth from becoming so heavy that it will fall before it is cut and to retard its development so that haymaking will occur after the rains are over. If the crop is heavy and falls during bad weather, it is best to make ensilage of it immediately. Cost of Hauling Wheat by Wagon. Transportation Expert Frank An- drews places the average cost to the farmer of hauling wheat from farms to shipping points at 9 cents per 100 pounds; the average distance hauled, 9.4 miles, and the average wagon load of wheat, 3,323 pounds, thus contain- ing about fifty-five bushels. Land Plaster on Clover. In the Willamette valley, Oregon, it is a common practice to apply land plaster to clover in the spring during March and April. From forty to sixty pounds per acre applied on the surface of the ground in the early spring are sald to double the yield of both hay and seed. After Milking. Milk is often spoiled by allowing it to stand in the barn too long after it Is drawn. It readily absorbs odors from the air, and odors of the barn are usually very much in evidence. For this reason the milk should be quickly removed to a place free from odors. His Scheme Failed. “1 wonder why it is,” remarked one of the two men who had just lunched, turning to speak to the other, “that they ‘always have pretty cashlers at these restaurants.” But the pretty cashier, though she blushed and smiled, did not fall to de- tect the Canadian quarter he threw down in payment of his check.—Chi- cago Tribune. 3 The charity that opens its hand and closes its mouth is tho best kind.—Ter- rell (Tex.) Transcript. THE OBSTINATE AUTO. Now, Jasper Jones an auto bought. *Twas colored pink and green; 'Twas rigged with patents fore and aft And smelled of gasoline. The villain agent roundly swore The power was twenty horse, And Jones did see with glee how he The countryside might course. He proudly donned his cap and coat And gloves and goggles black And hung a number, tooty-two, Upon his leathern back. His family did gather round To gaze with awesome eyes And press his hand and wish godspeed And weepingly advise. While “Aisy!" bade a buttoned form, Bold Officer O'Quinn, “For if you bate thray mile an hour Begobs, Of'll run you in!"” Up climbed him Jones, down sate him Jones And twisted, jerked and drug. The people looking gave a snig; The auto gave a ‘“chug!” Behind his goggles Jones grew red; Beneath his cap he swot, But, though he toiled with mizht and main, He stayed on that one spot. “Oh, crickety,” did Jones appeal, “Why won't this auto go?” Advanced a wight and scratched his head And scanned aloft, alow, And said: “Alas, exposed you have Yourself to ridicule! This ain’t no twenty hoss machine, My friend; it's twenty mule!” The people pushed, the people hauled, The people gaped and talked, But this machine with all the will Of twenty mules had balked! Two draft steeds tugged—and four—and eight! An army teamster cussed! A huge road roller puffed and strained Until its boiler bust! All gentle means at man's command Employed they o'er and o'er, But naught could move this mind of mules A concentrated score! They spoke of dynamite—O’'Quinn Received it with a frown. 'Twould “make the thing ‘get up,’” they plead; Said he, “An’ "twud come down!” Then Jones he sighed, “Just let it stay.” Cried folk, “‘Aye, let her set.” And if it still declines to stir Youw'll find it right there yet! —Edwin L. Sabin in Woman’s Home Companion. '"Twould Terriblel Pa—If ever anything happens to me, Gladwys, promise me that you will never think of going on the stage. Kept a Diary. Henry Arthur Jones, the English playwright, was giving the students of Yale an address on the drama. “Your American vernacular is pic- turesque,” he said, “and it should help your playwrights to build strong, racy plays, but neither vernacular nor any- thing else is of moment if perseverance is lacking. “No playwright can succeed who is like 2 man I know. I said to this man one New Year's day: “ ‘Do you keep a diary, Philip? “‘Yes,’ he answered; ‘I've kept one for the first two weeks in January for the last seven years.” ”—Washington Star. Long and Short of It. Junior Partner -— Did you see that short man who was inquiring for you? Senior Partner—No. What kind of a * looking chap was he? Junior Partner--Oh, he was rather tall and— Senior Partner--But you just said he was short. ' Junior Partner—Well, I guess he was. At least he wanted me to stake him to a dollar until he could see you.—De- troit Tribune. The Truth. Miss Cutting—Awfully rude and in- quisitive, isn’t he? Miss Passay—Excessively. He was trying to find out my age the other day. I just told him I was forty-eight. That settled him. Miss Cutting—Yes. I guess it is best to be perfectly candid with that sort of fellow.—Catholic Standard and Times. A Homemade Prescription. The fellowing preseription was hand- ed to a New York druggist. It was evidently homemade: 3% plat of Mulchum Cod liver Ofl 3% pint of the best Rie whiske 1 oz of Wintergreen Esences 2 oz of Gliserine mix thoriey and take a dersert spoonful twise a day. —Judge. Kiclccd the Wrong Suitor. Miss Bear—Won't you come in, Mr. Rabbit? Mr. Rabbit—No, thank you, Miss Bear. Your father kicked me out once. That’s enough. I'm no pig. Miss Bear—Oh, there’s no danger to- day. The Porcupine called last night. —Cleveland Plain Dealer. Exposed His Hand. Mrs, Potts—I ean't see why you al- ways stay late at your office these nights. I don't see that you gain any- thing by it. Jack Potts (absentmind- edly)—That's so, but I won't always be 8 loser. Luck will change.—Catholic Standard and Times. His Own Portrait. Mr. Misfit (savagely)—Before I mar- ried you, was there any doddering idiot gone on you? Mrs. Misfit—There was one.” Mr. Misfit—I ‘wish to goodness you'd married him! Mrs. Misfit—I did, { —Ilustrated Bits.